Suggested
Rating: for teen and older readers
Category: Daniel/Janet established relationship with a
good dose of angst
Setting: takes place a few days after events in The Curse
Synopsis: Weaken something in the foundation – whether real
or only perceived – and there’s bound to be danger ahead.
Author’s
Comments: Part 26 in The Journey series. Sonia is
the best editor in the world!
DISCLAIMER: All publicly
recognizable characters and places (the Stargate SG-1 stuff) are the
property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret
Productions. This piece of fan fiction
was created for entertainment only and no infringement on copyrights or
trademarks was intended. Previously
unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are creations of the
author. Any similarity to real persons,
living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by
the author.
FALLOUT
- by Michelle
Lunsford (August 2008)
“So. You going to tell me what’s bugging you, or
are we going to indulge in Ben, Jerry, and Mr. Darcy first?”
Janet, squatting before the DVD player,
glanced over her shoulder at the woman sitting on the sofa. “What makes you think something’s bugging
me?”
“Come on, Janet. You know I enjoy a girls’ night in as much as
you do, but you were distracted all through dinner. Something tells me there was more to your
invite than an excuse for female frivolity.”
She slipped the movie disc into the slot,
then leaned back on her heels and sighed.
Part of her wanted to be irritated that Sam was so perceptive, to
continue denying that anything was on her mind.
But
hadn’t that been the whole point of suggesting this get together, her inner voice
queried.
“All right.” She rose to join her friend. “I had
hoped we’d be able to talk about something tonight.”
Sam leaned forward to retrieve her bowl of
ice cream from the coffee table. “So?”
Janet sighed again. “So… it’s about Daniel.”
“Ah.”
Sam’s tone was nonchalant, prompting Janet to raise an eyebrow. “Let’s just say,” Sam continued, “I’ve noticed
he’s been a little withdrawn ever since we got back from Egypt.”
“Exactly.” Reaching for her own bowl of chocolate fudge
brownie she added, “And it bothers me that he won’t talk to me about it.”
Sam drew her feet up onto the sofa and
offered an encouraging smile. “Maybe he
just needs time to process it all before coming to you.”
“Except that if he’s going to process it all on his own,” Janet rejoined, scowling
as she rammed her spoon into a brownie chunk, “then what’s the point of coming
to me?” Seeing Sam’s wide-eyed response,
she quickly amended, “I’m sorry, Sam. I
don’t mean to take my frustration out on you.”
Her friend stared at her for a long
moment. “This really has you worried,
doesn’t it?”
Janet nodded.
“I know he’s been through a rough time lately. He must still be grieving Doctor Jordan’s
death. And it can’t have been much fun
returning to his old academic stomping grounds, considering what the professional
community thought of his theories. Plus,
while I imagine Daniel would never admit this, it was probably like salt in an
open wound for him to know he’d been absolutely correct, yet be unable to claim
that success to any of his peers.” She
pushed her half-eaten dessert around in the bowl, not wanting to meet her
friend’s gaze. “But I wonder about other
things… like how Daniel feels about what happened to his former colleagues.”
“I got the impression that Doctor Rayner and Daniel didn’t get along very well,” Sam
said. “And concerning what happened, it
wasn’t as if the man didn’t bring some of it on himself.”
“I know.”
She frowned, remembering the audacity of Rayner’s
plan to claim credit for the discovery of the Osiris amulet. “But you know how Daniel can be sometimes,
how he can find a way to blame himself for things that aren’t his fault. And then the situation with Doctor Gardner—”
she froze, the words out of her mouth before she was aware of it. With a huff of exasperation she set her bowl
aside and shut her eyes.
She really hadn’t intended to bring her up in the conversation.
Sam kept quiet and Janet was grateful for the
opportunity to gather and refocus her thoughts.
“Knowing that Sarah was the one who opened
the jar… The horrible result of Osiris
being freed notwithstanding, Daniel had to have seen that as a betrayal of
friendship.”
And, of
course, Sarah had been more to him than just a friend.
Sam, affectionate concern shadowing her face,
leaned closer and asked, “Have you tried talking to him about this?”
“That’s just it,” she answered, lowering her
eyes. “I want to more than
anything. But...” She forced herself to look back, even though
she could feel the tears beginning.
“Sam, he’s avoiding me.”
Sam didn’t reply, but her frown communicated
surprise and disbelief. “Surely not. I mean…
Janet, anyone who knows Daniel can see how crazy he is about you.”
“I appreciate the vote of confidence. Really. But I can’t shake this feeling. And, truth be told, it was bothering me even
before Egypt.” Janet took a deep breath
and released it slowly. “There’s been
something not quite right with him ever since SG-1 was kidnapped to work
underground on that ice planet.”
Sam’s frown deepened. She set her bowl on the coffee table and
reached to take both Janet’s hands. “I’m
so sorry. I had no idea. Is there… is there anything I can do to
help?”
Janet, glad for the
comforting support of her friend’s gesture, managed a thin smile. “You already have. Believe it or not, talking about it tonight
has made me feel a little better.” She
sniffled. “Even if it
appears otherwise.”
“All right.” Sam, although still looking dubious, released
her hands. “If you say
so.”
“I do.
In fact, I think it may have given me the courage I need to face Daniel
about this.”
“Good.”
Sam’s tone became more confident as she added, “And I’m sure once you’re
able to talk to him, things will work out just fine.”
^
* ^ *
^ * ^
* ^ *
^ * ^
* ^ *
Janet had employed every self pep talk
imaginable during the short elevator trip, but as she neared the familiar
doorway her courage still faltered.
You can
do this. She clenched a fist and smacked it into the
palm of her opposite hand. You have to do this.
“Right,” she muttered under her breath. Her misgivings had gone on long enough. It was time to fix this.
She stepped into the room and without pausing
made her way to his desk. Daniel glanced
up. Her mood received a decided boost
when he actually gave her a half-smile.
“Hey,” he said. “What brings you by?”
“Wondered if you might be free to take a break
over a cup of coffee?” There. That sounded casual enough.
The half-smile faded as Daniel spread his
hands and indicated the piles on his desk.
“Wish I could, but I’m in the middle of a translation project on these
latest acquisitions SG-13 brought back.
I told General Hammond I’d have them finished as soon as possible.”
“I see.”
This scenario had played out far too frequently of late, but she tried
not to allow his excuse to sap her resolve.
“In that case, could you at least spare a moment to discuss some future
plans?”
His brow furrowed slightly. “Such as?”
“Well, we never have made up our rain check
from the last time you were supposed to come over for dinner.” She tried not to make it sound like an
accusation. After all, it wasn’t Daniel’s
fault that Martin Lloyd’s phone call and the failed X-301 Interceptor tests had
screwed up their schedules.
Although
it might be his fault that he’d failed to bring up the subject of the missed
dinner since then, much less offering to make it up to me.
Shoving that unbidden and traitorous thought
aside, she continued, “I was wondering if we could rectify the situation.”
“Oh.”
She would have sworn that Daniel’s body went rigid as he glanced away,
his hand jerking toward a book on the far end of his desk. “Yeah, um, that would be great.” He began
flipping through the book’s pages.
“Unfortunately, I’m not sure when my schedule is going to be free. As I mentioned, the general is expecting my
report on these,” he jerked a thumb at the artifacts on his desk, “and I’m
behind on quite a few things after those trips to Chicago and Egypt—”
“Daniel,” she interrupted, “I’m not saying it
has to be a big night out on the town, or even that we have to schedule
something in the next couple of days. I
just want to be able to spend a little time with you, okay?”
He nodded but continued to flip absently
through the volume in his hands. With an
unexpected surge of anger, Janet reached out and pulled it from his grasp. “And for goodness sake, can’t you at least
look at me when I’m talking to you?”
Her outburst won his complete attention and
there was genuine remorse when he met her eye.
But for a split second Janet thought she saw something else there,
something that seemed out of place and couldn’t quite be named. A sense of foreboding flared deep in her gut.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I don’t know what…” He shook his head and looked away once more,
his words coming even softer this time.
“I’m sorry.”
“Daniel.”
She had to shove her hands in her pockets to keep from pulling his face
toward her. “I can’t help feeling that
something is wrong. That something is
bothering you – has been bothering you for a while now. Please, won’t you talk to me?”
From his profile she could see his eyes close,
his jaw tighten. But again he shook his
head and murmured, “I’m sorry.”
Her anger was slowly giving way to
perplexity. She’d anticipated this
confrontation being difficult, possibly even revealing something
unpleasant. The downward spiral she was
experiencing, however, had her at a total loss.
With tears welling in her eyes she moved around his desk and blurted the
first thing that came to mind. “Is—is it
something I’ve done?”
Daniel was on his feet in an instant. “No – God, no!” In the blur of movement Janet knew he was
going to embrace her. She moved forward,
her arms rising in response. But then
she faltered, quickly dropping her arms as she realized his remained locked by
his side. He was looking at her
intently, his sudden proximity only serving to heighten her confusion.
The moment seemed to stretch on forever
before Daniel spoke again. This time,
Janet thought her heart would break at the despondency she heard in his tone.
“No, Janet it’s… it’s not you. Please, if you can’t understand or believe
anything else about this right now, know that this is
not about you.”
“Then what is it?” she pleaded, risking a
step closer.
“I can’t…”
He took a step back, then another, before slumping into his chair. He thrust both hands through his hair and
stared at the floor. “I just need some
time, Janet. Time and
space… to figure out some things.”
Her mind swirled with the possible
implications – most of them negative – of his words. But in her state of bewilderment all she
could manage was a feeble, “Okay.” The
silence felt cold now, and it seemed the walls were closing in. She stiffened,
dropped her head and turned to walk out of the room.
Janet methodically put one foot in front of
the other, all the while trying not to give in to the overwhelming dread that
kept pounding in her heart – that she might be walking
out of Daniel’s life as well.
~ THE END ~