Title: Second Chance
Suggested Rating: for teen and older readers
Category: Daniel/Janet friendship and romance, drama
Season: Season 7
Spoilers: Fallen
Author’s Comments: I wasn’t a full-fledged Daniel/Janet shipper when I saw Fallen the first time. However, since falling under the influence of D/J ship, I found myself a wee bit disappointed with the D/J interaction in that episode. For one thing, there simply isn't enough interaction between them. Secondly, why couldn't Janet get to have a nice little "moment" with Daniel like everyone else did? (i.e., the scene with Teal'c after Daniel has remembered Sha're - the scene with Carter in the tent, just before Daniel decides to return home with them - the scene with Jack, when Daniel tells him that he "remembers enough") So, this piece fills in all those gaps that I felt were so blatantly missing. <g>
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters and places (the Stargate SG-1 stuff) are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment only and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
SECOND CHANCE
By Michelle Lunsford (2003)
Doctor Janet Frasier stood motionless, her features a picture of utter shock. Along the edges of her perception, she heard a familiar voice, calling her name. Suddenly, she remembered there was a phone receiver in her hand.
“Doctor Frasier, are you there?” the voice of General Hammond repeated loudly.
“Ah, yes – sorry, Sir – I’m here,” Janet faltered, struggling to bring her reeling mind under control. Had the General actually said what she’d thought he had? SG-1 had found Daniel?
“I know the news is rather unbelievable,” Hammond said.
‘Oh, there’s one for the understatement of the year award,’ Janet thought sarcastically.
“But Colonel O’Neill seems fairly confident that it is, in fact, Doctor Jackson they’ve found on the planet. They’ll be returning within the hour.”
“We’ll be ready,” Janet confirmed.
“And Doctor, there’s one other thing you should know,” the General began, his voice taking on that odd tone she had come to interpret as meaning the proverbial shoe was about to drop. “Doctor Jackson appears to have no memory of who he is, or of any of us.”
Well, that was one heck of a shoe. “Thank you for the warning, Sir,” Janet replied, her voice surprisingly calm in light of the emotions surging through her gut. “As I said, we’ll be ready.”
“I know you will.”
Janet tried to gather strength from the sense of confidence she heard in his voice. The line went dead. She hung up the phone and stared at it blankly. Daniel – alive and in human form? And with no memory? Heaven help her – she was going to need more than mere strength to get through this.
‘Alright, Janet,’ her mind began the familiar litany, ‘breathe and focus – breathe and focus’. As she’d learned many years ago, her strong sense of feeling served to make her a good doctor, but only if she could keep those feelings under control. This was not the time to break down. She could do that later, when the exam was over and she found a moment to be alone. Now she had to get the infirmary prepped for one very important patient. Fixing her concentration on familiar tasks, Janet set about doing her job.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Everything was in order. She was looking over Daniel’s medical file for what must have been the hundredth time, the act giving her some sensation of normalcy. Janet thought she detected the sound of the Colonel coming down the hall, and her pulse quickened. With a deep breath, she closed the file and fixed her eyes on the open doorway. ‘Ready as I’m going to get,’ she told herself.
“And this,” O’Neill announced as he entered, “is the infirmary. Actually, if any place is going to bring back memories, it should be this one. You’ve spent a lot of time here.”
Janet felt something catch in her throat at the sight of the figure that followed the Colonel through the door. Swallowing hard, she forced herself into doctor-mode, and gave him a professionally practiced look up and down. For someone who had spent his existence in corporeal form the past year, his physical body appeared as healthy and conditioned as she remembered it being, the broad cut of his shoulders evident even under the multi-layered cloak he wore. The colors in that cloak also served to bring out the unmistakable blue of those eyes – another feature she recalled all too well – which were now scanning every inch of the room. The eyes, clouded with uncertainty, finally came to settle on her, showing no more sign of recognition in her features than they had in the surroundings.
Janet put on her best smile, and ratcheted her bedside manner up to its highest setting.
“Hello, Daniel,” she said warmly.
Daniel managed a polite nod, but the action communicated to Janet that she was just one more person, in a long line of persons, he’d encountered today, and who meant absolutely nothing to him.
He studied her, curiously, for a moment, before finally asking, “Are you a healer?”
“Something like that,” she smiled again. “I’m a doctor. Doctor Janet Frasier.”
She took a few steps closer to him, cautious to make her movements non-threatening.
“I understand you’ve lost your memory. But I need to run some tests on you. It’s all standard procedure – nothing you haven’t had done before.”
She waited, allowing him time to process the information.
“You were my doctor?” he asked, studying her again.
“Yes,” Janet replied, hopeful this was some spark of true recollection. But his next statement confirmed that was only so much wishful thinking.
“You must have been… right?” Daniel went on, his eyes once again taking in the environment. “I mean, if this place really was home…”
“I’m going to leave him in your capable hands, Doc,” Jack interrupted, clapping his friend on the back. “Hammond wants to ask us a few questions. I’ll be back after we’re finished.”
Janet nodded as she reached into the pocket of her lab coat for a pair of rubber gloves. “We’ll be fine.”
She watched as the Colonel looked to Daniel for some sign of confirmation.
“Yes,” the younger man replied, his voice steady, if not entirely convinced. “We’ll be fine.”
O’Neill accepted that with a nod, turned slowly, and exited the room.
“Now,” Janet began. The snap of latex against her wrist as she pulled on the gloves gave her an odd sense of comfort. “The first order of business is going to be decontamination.” At Daniel’s quizzical expression, she went on. “It’s a method of sanitizing – of cleaning.”
He nodded slowly, his expression a mixture of perplexity and resignation. Janet fought against a sigh. That was a look she was probably going to have to get used to – at least for the time being.
“You’ll have to get undressed, so your clothes can be sent for decontamination as well. The shower facilities are through there,” she pointed to her left, then patted the neatly folded green jumpsuit on the bed beside her. “And you can put this on when you’re finished.”
Daniel stared at her blankly. “What, exactly, is a shower?”
She knew this was likely to be the most difficult part. Never mind that she was his doctor, that she had seen him naked a hundred times before – this was all going to be new for Daniel. Donning her most soothing doctor-expression-and-voice-combination, she motioned towards the bathroom. “Come on. I’ll show you how the shower controls work.”
Well, one thing could be said for certain. This had proven to be the most interesting experience of standard medical examinations on Doctor Daniel Jackson that Janet had ever conducted. Even the most simplistic procedure, the most basic test, had been a totally strange encounter for Daniel. Everything seemed foreign to him. Janet had spent as much time trying to exude trustworthiness and assurance as she had conducting the exam. At least concentrating on making this whole ordeal as easy on Daniel as she could had almost been enough to keep her from thinking about how much it hurt to realize he really had no memory of who she was. It was almost enough.
“The good news is everything checks out,” Janet announced, making a few notes on his chart. “You’re completely healthy.”
“Good news?” Daniel paused pensively. “Why do I have the feeling that’s supposed to be followed by a revelation of bad news?”
She met his eyes. Despite the awkwardness that he exhibited because of his amnesia, he was still very much the Daniel she had known. He looked the same, right down to the distinctive quirks of body language and facial expression she had learned to associate as distinctively his. He sounded the same. He even displayed the same long-suffering attitude she was so fond of. But there was no denying the difference. The warmth of friendship she had so often seen reflected in his eyes was gone.
“The bad news is I’ve found no medical explanation for your inability to remember,” she admitted. “I mean, I’ll have to wait on test results to be conclusive, but I really don’t anticipate them revealing anything.”
“Which means,” he began slowly, “you have no idea how to possibly restore my memory, or even if it can be restored.”
Janet bit her lower lip. He wasn’t making this any easier.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly.
Daniel looked away, closing his eyes as he shook his head. “It’s not your fault.”
That was it – the last straw. Janet couldn’t fight the humorless laugh that erupted from her throat. She turned away, suddenly fighting against tears.
“What is it?” Daniel’s voice was low and compassionate.
Janet blinked several times in an effort to regain control. “That’s exactly what you said when--” she broke off, unable to finish, as images of a radiated and dying Daniel came unbidden to her mind.
“Doctor Frasier?”
Janet willed herself to be calm. With a steadying breath, she turned to face him again. Meeting his gaze, she determined she wasn’t about to give up on him. Not now, when he needed her most – whether he realized it or not.
“Just because I don’t understand why you’re in this condition, doesn’t mean it isn’t irreversible – or that your memory won’t come back on it’s own, in time.” She smiled resolutely. “Daniel, you’ve gotten out of a lot of scrapes tougher than this. And the important thing is that your friends are with you. We’re here to help you.”
He looked at her skeptically, but eventually accepted the statement with a nod. Daniel’s eyes fell to his hands then, and he was silent for several long seconds. When he spoke, his voice was barely audible.
“You weren’t just my doctor… you were also my friend?”
“Daniel, I am your friend,” she said firmly.
Daniel remained quiet, and Janet had an almost desperate urge to grab him in an embrace – to tell him that somehow everything was going to be all right. ‘Okay, time to retreat to the safety of doctor-mode again.’ She turned her attention to the medical chart in her hand, forcing her professional character to take control. Noticing Colonel O’Neill making his way toward them, she adopted the most composed demeanor she could manage.
“Well, I’m happy to say, Sir, that he’s in perfect health – except for one small exception.” She held up a pair of familiar spectacles and offered them to her patient.
He accepted them, and for once Janet was pleased she didn’t need to explain what the item was used for. She watched as Daniel slipped them on.
“Wow, that’s different,” he noted.
“You recognize me now?”
O’Neill’s tone was good-humored, but Janet had been around the Colonel long enough to know better. She didn’t miss the underlying current of hope in his expression. Nor did she blame him – she understood exactly how he felt.
Daniel appeared to study the man from his new, clearer perspective.
“Has your hair always been that way?” he asked suddenly.
For a split-second Janet wondered if this was another clue of Daniel’s hopefully returning memory – it sounded so like the familiar banter she’d heard between them many times before. She turned her attention to the Colonel. If he was thinking similar thoughts, then she had to give the man credit – he was staying cool as a cucumber.
“What way?” O’Neill asked in return, his voice even.
“Never mind,” Daniel replied, looking away.
The moment was lost. O’Neill looked to Janet, but she could offer nothing to help. She held up her hands, placating, as if to say, ‘I know – I’m right there with you.’
“So,” the Colonel went on, “he’s free to go?”
Janet sighed. What more could she do?
“He’s free to go.”
“Come on then,” O’Neill directed at Daniel. “I’ll show you to your new room.”
Janet stared after them. In so many ways, it was just like old times. And in so many ways, Daniel was still as far away from her as he’d been the day he ascended. She closed her eyes against the growing weight of fatigue she felt. ‘At least now, I’ll be able to find that moment alone…’
The soft voice pulled at her attention, and Janet opened her eyes. Daniel was standing in the doorway, O’Neill looking back at him curiously. Daniel still had that lost air about him, but he managed a brief smile as she met his eyes.
“Thank you,” he said simply.
Janet smiled and dipped her head in acknowledgement. She didn’t trust herself to say, or do anything more than that. And as Daniel turned to leave, Janet knew she’d definitely have to find that moment alone – and very, very soon.
In the week that had passed, Janet noticed the base was busier than usual. A definite sense of urgency clung to everyone and everything. It was no surprise. She had heard about the outlandish plan that had been devised as SG-1 prepared to lay a trap for Anubis. Even Daniel had a role to play. Janet found herself worrying about him – about all of them – the way she always did when they were going on a mission. But part of her was glad, because she knew it was a sign that Daniel was slowly beginning to find his place again. His memory was coming back, albeit in odd bits in pieces – or so she had heard. Janet hadn’t had opportunity to interact in any depth with Daniel since that last examination. And one of the things she’d decided, in those quiet moments she’d spent alone after that exam, was that she was not going to push him. She would not seek him out.
Her own feelings were still a fairly jumbled mess. Oh, she was sure about sentiments of friendship. But even before he’d ascended, Janet had begun to suspect that she felt more than that for Daniel – a suspicion that wasn’t helped when she became aware of just how devastating his loss had been to her. The nights she’d laid awake, chasing down the unproductive ‘what if’ line of thinking, had been more numerous than she cared to admit. And now he was here, alive and walking around on base. Even after several days it was still difficult to believe. Janet couldn’t shake the hope that maybe, just maybe, she was being given a second chance. Yet how could she consider such thoughts when Daniel didn’t even remember who she was, much less the good friends they’d been?
She had seen him a few times – wandering down the hall, coming or going at the commissary – and each time he’d offered a polite greeting. But it was always “Doctor Frasier”. There was no sense of familiarity. Janet tried to reassure herself. ‘Give him time,’ her mind rationalized. ‘This all has to be terribly overwhelming for him.’ And so, as the days progressed, Janet poured herself into her work, waiting for the recollection she hoped would eventually come.
The date of the mission arrived, and Janet found herself busy with the usual pre-mission activities required of the SGC chief medical officer. One of those activities included Jonas and Daniel coming to the infirmary so they could be injected with the special radioactive isotope supplied by the Tok’ra. The two men sat opposite one another, on the edge of infirmary beds. And as she listened to them, discussing last minute details of their plan, she tried not to think about the fact that soon they’d both be ringing onto Anubis’ mothership.
“That should do it,” Janet said as she pulled the needle from Jonas’ arm. “You’re all done here.”
“Thanks, Doc,” Jonas replied, rolling down the sleeve of his tee shirt. “Daniel, I’m gonna go pick up my gear. Meet you in the Gate room.”
“Okay,” Daniel replied.
“Good luck,” Janet called to Jonas’ retreating back.
“Thanks.” The reply, hasty but sincere, came back to her from the doorway as Jonas exited.
“Now, your turn,” Janet said, turning to Daniel. She began prepping the hypodermic. “So, how are you feeling about the mission?” She hoped her voice hadn’t sounded too apprehensive
“I’m…”
Janet noticed he seemed to be fidgeting more than usual. She met his eyes, raised one eyebrow questioningly.
“I’m ready,” he finally said.
Janet felt encouraged by the resolve she heard in his voice.
“Although it’s still a little hard to believe, I’ve remembered enough to know this really is the sort of thing I do,” he went on. “More importantly, I remember enough to know that this is important. That’s it’s worth doing.”
She expertly slid the needle into his muscle, slowly dispensing the isotope.
“That sounds like the Daniel I know,” she said, smiling. Inwardly she though, ‘Now, if only you could say something similar about me.’
The injection complete, Janet pulled the needle from his arm. She was just about to turn around, begin gathering her supplies, when suddenly Daniel grabbed her wrist.
“Cassandra!” he exclaimed.
“Yes?” Janet eyed him warily. His grip wasn’t rough, but it had startled her a bit. “What about her?”
Daniel’s eyes closed, his brow furrowed in concentration. “I just remembered something… from when she was sick – a retrovirus.”
Janet felt her stomach drop.
“And we had captured… Nerti?”
“That’s right,” Janet confirmed. She wished her breathing hadn’t abruptly gone erratic.
Daniel’s eyes snapped open, locking with hers.
“You held her at gunpoint.” There was a trace of astonishment in his tone.
“That was a very difficult situation for me,” Janet countered, unapologetic.
Daniel nodded, his gaze drifting away to some nonspecific point behind her as he tried to pursue the memory further. Janet waited, wondering what was going through his mind. Finally, Daniel brought his eyes back to hers, and Janet felt her knees go weak. There it was – the expression she’d been longing to see – complete recognition.
“I know that, Janet,” he said softly. “I remember saying as much to you in the hallway, after I’d told you about the deal that Nerti wanted to make with us.”
Janet’s gaze fell to where his hand still clasped her wrist, her mind playing its own selection of memories. Comfortable silence hung between them. Slowly, Daniel released her, his fingers tracing a light line over her hand as he pulled away.
“This is so…” Daniel slapped at his legs in exasperation. “I never know when the memories are going to hit me. And sometimes they are so intense.”
“Are you going to be okay?” she asked, catching his eyes again.
He took a deep breath, released it in heavy sigh. “Yeah. I mean, it’s kind of like mental overload, but it’s better than the alternative.” He shook his head. “It’s been so difficult, coming back here and having all these people show kindness, and so much caring towards me, and to not be able to recall the experiences behind all those emotions. Believe me, Janet, I’m more than happy that it’s all coming back.”
She felt a smile tug at the corners of her mouth. “Me too, Daniel. Me too.”
“Well, I have to go,” Daniel said after a few seconds of silence.
She nodded. “Good luck on the mission.”
He jumped lightly from the bed. “Thanks. I guess I’ll see you when I get back, huh?”
Her smile grew into a full-fledged grin. “You’d better. Post-mission check ups aren’t just for my peace of mind – they’re also air force regulation.”
Daniel offered his own grin, along with a mock salute. “Yes, Ma’am.” Grabbing his jacket, he headed for the door.
Her smile lingered as she watched him go. He would come back from this mission – if for no other reason than she would will it to happen. And that second chance she felt she’d been given? Well, it wouldn’t happen overnight, but she would take it. She would take it, and run with it for all it was worth.
~ End ~
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