Suggested Rating: for young adult and older readers

Category: Daniel/Janet romance

Setting: Season 8 (although not truly within the scope of “canon” since Janet is, obviously, alive)

Synopsis: Sometimes a song can answer all your questions.

Author’s Comments: That’s right – Michelle’s written a song fic. So expect fluff ahead – hopefully it won’t be too saccharine or cliché. This one was inspired by listening to the new Duran Duran album, Astronaut – so you can blame them. Behind every half-way decent author is a fantastic beta reader. Thanks, Sonia.

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters and places (the Stargate SG-1 stuff) are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment only and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

RENOVATIONS

- by Michelle Lunsford (October 2004)

A drop of water splattered unceremoniously across the windshield, followed immediately by several others. By the time Daniel switched on the wipers he was in the middle of a full-fledged downpour.

Guess that front they were predicting for tonight got in a little early, he thought as he turned on the headlights. Not that it really matters, since I’ll be spending most of the day indoors.

A familiar smile stretched across his mouth as he considered that. It had been happenstance, really, that resulted in his plans for today. Earlier in the week, during a coincidental late night meeting over the coffee pot in the commissary, Janet had confessed that a recent interest in those ubiquitous home improvement shows had inspired her to redecorate her guest room. Thus she would be spending the weekend with paint, fabric, and hopefully a bit of creative inspiration. On impulse, Daniel had offered to help. The suggestion appeared to take her a little by surprise, but after a few seconds consideration she’d accepted.

It’s not as if I had anything pressing to do anyway, he reminded himself, turning off onto the side road that led to Janet’s subdivision. Sure, there were various translation projects that were always ongoing. Or he could have gotten caught up on reading the latest reports from the junior archeologists working at the SGC. There was even the possibility of spending a leisurely day off by staying home and watching one of those DVDs that Teal’c had loaned him. But the fact was that Daniel simply didn’t find any of those options nearly as appealing as the idea of spending an entire Saturday in the company of Doctor Janet Frasier.

Actually, I can’t think of anything more appealing than spending the day with her, he reflected. And that truth was becoming clearer to him day by day.

It had begun innocently enough – an examination of the video recordings from when he’d been in confinement during the Stromos incident. He’d been grateful for what everyone had done in helping to get those unwelcome consciousnesses out of his body, but something about Janet’s unwavering determination during that whole episode had struck him. Perhaps it was the fact that it all happened not too long after his return from being ascended. Maybe it was because, since that return, he’d chosen to look at life from a somewhat altered perspective. But whatever the reason, since then he’d started… seeing Janet differently.

Initially it was a very subtle change. But as time passed, it had grown into something more substantial. When Janet almost died, on P3X-666, Daniel had come face to face with a rather startling reality. He was falling in love with her.

The rhythmic pounding of the rain seemed to mock him as he drove, the question that had been far too close a companion to his thoughts these days once again coming to mind. But what do I do about it?

His inability to arrive at a satisfactory answer merely fueled his frustration. At first he’d simply had to deal with the surprise of this emotional revelation. The notion that he actually could fall in love again was one that he’d decided, albeit subconsciously, was impossible. The grief of Sha’re’s loss, although no longer poignant, was always with him. But he knew that was a part of grieving – that was how it would always be. He’d accepted that. He’d even found a certain level of contentment in his life as a widower. He would have friends, and work, or other similar pursuits that were important to him. And he would simply remain alone for the rest of his life.

But now… suddenly the role of widowed bachelor wasn’t quite the picture of contentment he’d imagined it to be.

Without his own consideration, much less his permission, his emotions had gone and done this crazy thing, leaving him more than a little confused about how to proceed. There were so many factors to consider. If he were to actively pursue this, how would it affect their professional relationship? Would it be as simple a matter as him being moved to the care of a different doctor on base, or would it play out in other ways that he couldn’t even begin to discern? And what about the personal relationship they already had? Could they still be friends, even if it didn’t work out? Or what if Janet didn’t reciprocate his feelings? And, of course, the worst possible scenario was what if something happened again, something like P3X-666? Was he ready, or even willing, to take that kind of risk?

A heavy sigh escaped his lips as Daniel brought his car to a stop in Janet’s drive and slipped the gear into park. All this circular musing was beginning to drive him crazy. But one thing he knew for certain. A resolution to this issue would present itself sooner or later. He knew himself to be a man of strong feelings. He always had been. And he could ignore this, or pretend it didn’t exist, or even simply try and hide it, but eventually it would work its way out. How he felt about Janet had already affected how he thought about her. It was only a matter of time before it also affected how he behaved toward her.

If it hasn’t already, he noted, gazing out at the house in front of him. After all, why else would I have volunteered to be here today?

With another sigh he forced such thoughts from his mind. Doubt I’ll find the answers I’m looking for while sitting out here in the rain. Opening the door, he made a dash for it, taking care not to slip on the wet pavement of Janet’s walkway. Under the protective cover of the porch, Daniel flicked his hands in an attempt to disperse some of the water from his jacket. Then he knocked on the front door.

“Hey.” Janet answered with a welcoming smile. “Come on in before you get soaked.”

He stepped inside, hoping his own smile came across as not overly enthusiastic, even as he mentally chastised himself for getting so buoyed merely by the sight of her. “Yeah, it’s really starting to come down out there,” he commented, slipping out of his windbreaker.

Janet reached to take the jacket from him. “I’ll just go hang this over a chair, so it can dry,” she said, heading down the hall.

He cast a quick glance around, noting how this particular abode always managed to communicate a sense of warmth and hospitality to him.

“Would you like a cup of coffee before we get started?” Janet called.

“No thanks,” he replied, making his way deeper into the house. “I’ve already had two cups this morning.” Catching sight of her as she exited the kitchen he playfully added, “And my doctor is always getting on to me about drinking too much of the stuff.”

“Good for her,” Janet commended, matching his tone.

As she approached, Daniel took a few seconds to get a good look at her. She was dressed in a faded Air Force t-shirt, tucked into a pair of well-worn jeans that were ripped just below the left knee. Her feet were shod in an old pair of Keds that looked like they might have been white at one time. The sides of her hair were pulled back, presumably being held in place behind her head by some kind of clip, giving her a somewhat carefree appearance. Although her clothing was much like his own, Daniel couldn’t help but consider that while he felt casual, even plain, Janet looked absolutely fetching.

Aware that such thoughts could quickly get him into trouble, he shifted his weight slightly, searching for some way to redirect his focus. “So, shall we get to work, then?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” Janet said with evident enthusiasm. She eased past him, heading down the hall that led towards the guest room. “I’ve already been doing some of the prep work.”

“Oh,” Daniel replied inquisitively, following in her steps.

“Yeah. I know it’s silly, to be getting so excited over something like this, but I woke up early this morning and just couldn’t wait.” Pausing at the guest room doorway she glanced over her shoulder and smiled. “But don’t worry – there’s still plenty to do.”

He stepped into the room after her and saw that she had indeed been busy. The walls were bare, and everything had been moved out except for the bed and large dresser. A ladder stood in one corner. Beside it were cans of paint, a collection of brushes and rollers, and several drop cloths.

“I’d just finished clearing out the room except for the bigger furniture before you arrived,” Janet said as she moved beside him. “But you’re just in time,” she paused, giving his upper arm a light squeeze, “to put those muscles to work helping me move this bed.”

The comment was clearly made in a blithe manner, but Daniel could feel distinctive warmth rising in his cheeks at the implied compliment. “Uh, sure,” he managed, making his way around to the far side of the bed. It’s going to be a long day, he mused. Yeah, but is that a good thing, or bad? his inner voice shot back.

They made quick work of moving the furniture to the center of the room, covering it and the floor with the cloths. Janet opened the paint cans, eagerly showing him her selections as she explained the base color was to go on three of the walls, while the contrasting highlight color was for the fourth. They had rather artistic sounding names, which completely failed to register with Daniel’s untrained sense of interior design.

“That show you watched really suggested putting together brown and purple, in the same room?” he asked, a little skeptically.

“That’s taupe and plum,” Janet corrected good-naturedly. “And it’s going to look great!”

“If you say so,” he replied.

As he began pouring paint into their trays, Daniel noticed that Janet slipped out of the room. She returned a few minutes later with two pieces of cloth in her hand. Seconds later, strains of music could be heard.

“I hope you don’t mind listening to music while we work,” Janet said, handing him one of the cloths.

It sounded like some kind of pop tune, but wasn’t too loud. It would make for suitable listening, but was low enough they could easily talk above it. “No, that’s fine.” He replied. Holding up the black bandana he’d just taken from her he added, “And thanks. I should have thought of bringing one of these myself.”

“You’re welcome,” she replied, tying one of purple paisley pattern around her head. “I figured it would be easier than having to wash paint splatters out of my hair later.”

They settled into the task, Janet offering to do the trim while Daniel tackled the roller. They chatted lightly at first, but soon he realized that Janet seemed inclined to remain focused on her painting and so he fell quiet. Besides, he was more than content simply to be in the same room with her, happily going about his work while simultaneously being aware of her presence nearby. Occasionally he’d pause, when adding more paint to the roller, or refilling his tray, to watch her. As the morning progressed, and he became more relaxed, it became all too easy to let his mind wander.

Several times already he’d caught himself imagining the most quixotic scenarios. When he’d seen her edging in the trim at a corner, her head tilted slightly in concentration, he’d contemplated what it might be like to drop kisses along that tempting display of exposed neck. If Janet were seated on the floor, painting around the baseboards, Daniel would picture himself coming along to offer her a momentary respite with a cup of hot tea and a back rub. And, perhaps the most fantastic of all, at one point when Janet was cutting in the trim around the ceiling, Daniel had envisioned the entire room transforming into a nursery-in-progress, with him lovingly scolding a very pregnant Janet for being up on the ladder.

As his romanticizing become more frequent and elaborate, Daniel realized he’d best fixate on something else for a while, before he did or said something stupid. With serious mental effort, he drove his concentration toward the project at hand and away from Janet. Purposefully turning his back to her, he methodically worked the roller across the wall’s surface. To get an even tighter grip on his wayward thoughts, he focused his attention on the tunes playing in the background.

He’d already figured out that the music was from a selection of CD’s Janet must have, rather than the radio. The player also seemed to be on random mode, because he’d not detected any pattern to the sets. It was a rather eclectic collection, with familiar big-band classics mixed in among pop rock songs and a few show tune standards. As he bent to re-soak his roller in the paint tray a new song began. It wasn’t one he knew, but the opening sequence and tempo of the music caught his interest and he listened closer as the lyrics began.

Take the beautiful sting of a Scorpio
A careless smile and it begins to snow
And it hurts me to think you might never know
That I've got this thing about you

He hesitated, just slightly, in the motion of his rolling as the last part of that stanza registered.

Case you don't understand
There's something else I meant to tell ya

There is nothing better than being with you
And I'm feeling so nice
There is nowhere better than here with you
And it's feeling so nice

The roller had stilled in his hand by this point, as Daniel gave the song his full attention.

Staying up with the moon, walking home in the rain
Mixed with your perfume and never twice the same
I got a lot to lose but everything to gain
When I really think about it

The first part of the verse was picturesque enough, but it was the second half that hit him in the gut. It almost felt as if this song had been written especially for his current predicament.

You haven't got a clue
It's all that I can do to hide it

He nearly dropped the paint roller out right at the taunting of the lead vocalist’s accusation in that line before it segued into a repeat of the chorus.

Daniel realized his heart was racing, his mind accelerating to keep pace. His struggle, to decide if revelation of his feelings for Janet was worth the risk or not, was clearly being echoed in this song. As the bridge of the music worked toward the next set of lyrics he found himself leaning forward slightly, drawn to the singer’s goading like a moth to a flame.

Did I already say? 'Cause you make me forget
I might as well be brave and tell ya
Now it hurts me to think you might never know
Will it hurt as much being true?
I might as well be brave and tell ya

The chorus repeated again, pushing to an ending, but Daniel was now caught in the previous verse. An image of Janet, sprawled on her back from the staff blast of a Jaffa, came unbidden to his mind. Thankfully, that blast hadn’t proved fatal. But during the touch and go period before they’d known she was going to survive, the idea that Janet might die unaware of how he felt about her had plagued him unmercifully.

Glancing over his shoulder, he saw her. She was painstakingly finishing up the last of the trim around the window, oblivious to his private torture across the room.

Maybe I should just be brave and tell her, he thought, considering the advice of the song again. After all, can being honest about my feelings really be that much worse than what I’m going through now?

He continued to stare at her and the song finally ended just as she touched off the last bit of trim below the window seal. Balancing the brush on an open paint can, she stood back and stretched, resting her palms against her lower back as she arched tired muscles. Shaking his head to break the self-imposed spell, Daniel turned back to the wall before she could catch him watching her.

“Wow, we’ve really made good progress,” Janet announced a few seconds later.

Daniel paused and glanced around. She was right. All the trim was complete, and he had only a little over half this wall to finish. “Well, that’s only because you can cut trim so fast,” he remarked, then pointed at the first wall he’d done. “But all the walls are going to need a second coat.”

“I know. But still this is great for a morning’s work.” Turning to face him, she added warmly. “I really appreciate your help, Daniel. I’d never have gotten this far working by myself.”

He smiled and shrugged. But before she could see his blushing, he feigned interest in completing his task and turned back to the wall.

A few additional seconds of silence passed before he heard her voice again. “Good grief, it’s almost twelve thirty. How about we break for lunch?”

“I’m just going to finish this bit first,” he replied. “It shouldn’t take long.” He squatted in order to reach the far lower corner of wall.

“Alright,” Janet answered. Her voice was closer now, and suddenly he felt her hands settle on his shoulders. “I’ll go ahead to the kitchen – have your sandwich made for you by the time you get there. Is ham and Swiss okay?”

“Um, sure, that’s fine.” He pushed the roller across the wall with renewed vigor in the hope that it would dispel the fire that had shot through his arms at her touch.

“Okay. See you in a few.”

“Yeah.” When he was certain she had gone, Daniel cast a longing glance toward the empty door and sighed. “Janet, there may be nothing better than being with you,” he whispered, “but until I decide to actually tell you that, there’s also nothing that’s worse.”

He finished the wall and made his way to the kitchen. As promised, a hearty ham and Swiss sandwich was waiting for him. They conversed casually during lunch, and if Janet had noticed any of the growing tension in his demeanor she gave no sign. Afterwards he helped her tidy up in the kitchen, all too aware of the delightful imitation of domesticity their actions presented to his mind. Then they returned to painting, and with Janet’s help on a roller they were able to apply the second coat in a little over an hour.

They were back in the kitchen now, standing side by side at the sink as they cleaned rollers and brushes. Daniel mentally wrestled with the distraction of her proximity even as he contemplated how the remainder of the afternoon might play out.

“Would you like me to help you move things back into the room?” He hoped the offer came across more neutral than he’d actually intended.

“Well…” Janet hesitated as her fingers worked a particularly stubborn spot of paint in one of the brushes. “Actually I think I’m going to call it quits for today.”

Daniel felt his spirits sink.

“Despite my initial enthusiasm for this redecorating project,” she went on, “I’m pretty tired. Cassie doesn’t have another college break until sometime next month, so there’s no rush to get the guest room furniture out of her room, which is where I’ve put it for the time being.”

Which means I don’t really have a legitimate excuse to hang around once we’re finished with the clean up, Daniel thought.

Several seconds passed, with the running of water from the faucet the only sound.

“Although, I could use your help moving the bed and dresser back into place.” She flicked the brush against the edge of the sink to dispel the excess water before setting it aside. Then, reaching for a dish towel, she went on, “I almost hate to ask, you’ve been so kind in giving up your Saturday to help me, but would you mind staying for another half hour or so?” She pulled off her bandana. “I think by then the paint should be dry enough that we can put those two pieces back against the wall where they go.”

It was all he could to do keep from grinning. “No, I don’t mind.”

“Daniel, you really are wonderful!” Draping the dishtowel over his shoulder she gave his arm a squeeze. Then she reached up, tugged of his bandana, and fondly tousled his hair. “For that, I’ll even put on a pot of coffee.”

Daniel would have sworn he’d just rocketed to cloud nine, but before he could work up a full inner celebration Janet’s next comment brought him crashing down to reality again.

“What would I do without a friend like you?”

Right, a friend, his inner muse emphasized the word as he scrubbed the last of the paint from his roller. He glanced around. “I think that’s the last of the brushes and rollers,” he said aloud. “Anything else need cleaning up?”

Janet answered as she measured scoops of grounds for the coffee maker. “No, that should be it. Why don’t you go into the den and have a seat. I’ll bring you a cup of coffee when it’s ready, and we can rest for a while.”

Daniel made his way into the den where he dropped into the comforting cushions of Janet’s leather sofa. He leaned back, intent on stretching out with his eyes closed in a brief moment of silent reflection – and to hopefully get a handle on his flailing composure – when something on the coffee table caught his eye. Sitting forward he noticed it was several CD cases, stacked in a neat line along the surface. Closer inspection revealed they were from the disks that had played in the background while they’d painted.

Without warning the lyrics from the song that had so purposefully registered with him earlier came to mind. An inexplicable compulsion made him reach out and shuffle through the empty cases. There were at least three of the seven that were unfamiliar artists to him, so he scanned the menu of songs on the back of each, hoping that the title would be self evident. After a thorough perusal, he’d narrowed it down to one song on a CD titled Astronaut.

“You’re not a Duran Duran fan too, are you?”

Daniel started slightly. He’d been so lost in his own thoughts that Janet’s arrival had startled him. Expanding his attention to his surroundings again, and replaying what she’d actually said, he glanced at the CD case in his hand. Sure enough, the artist was Duran Duran.

“Um, not really,” he replied. The name was vaguely familiar, however. He took the cup of coffee she held out to him. “But I think I’ve heard of them.”

Janet settled into the opposite corner of the sofa, drawing her legs underneath her, and took a sip of her brew. “So, if you’re not a fan, why were you so interested in the CD case?”

“Um, well,” he began, struggling to manage a casual tone. Waving a hand at the other cases on the coffee table he continued, “I thought I recognized these as the music you had playing while we painted. I was just curious to see who some of the artists were.”

“Ah.”

Her expression had been as noncommittal as her reply, but Daniel couldn’t help feeling like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar. An internal tension built as the now familiar lyric echoed again in his mind.

Will it hurt as much being true?
I might as well be brave and tell ya

Before he could allow himself to rationalize the consequences, he placed the Astronaut case back on the table and said, “And also because I heard a song today that sort of… connected with me.”

Cautiously he met Janet’s gaze. She was eyeing him curiously, but he couldn’t read anything negative in her expression.

“Does that, by any chance, have anything to do with why you seemed edgy during lunch?” she finally asked.

The forthrightness of the question caught him off guard, and in his surprise the first response that came to mind was, “I was edgy?”

She bit at her lower lip, carefully considering her reply. “Well, perhaps edgy wasn’t the best choice of words. But something was preoccupying you. I would have asked you about it then, but I sort of got the impression it wasn’t something you wanted to talk about.” Taking a sip of coffee, she leveled her gaze at him and asked, “Is it something you want to talk about?”

The depth of trust reflected in those deep amber pools pulled him under. “Yes,” he confessed. “I think I really do.”

She nodded, but said nothing more. Everything about her body language was open, even comforting. Instinctively Daniel knew that she wouldn’t push him. She’d allow him to go through this at his own pace, in his own way.

He placed his half empty mug on the table, took a deep breath, and released it slowly. With the decision finally made, the question of how to tell her now loomed over him. “I’m not really sure where to begin,” he admitted.

“Would it help if you played the song for me?” Janet asked into the lingering silence.

The idea was so simple, that his first instinct was to disregard it. But as he considered, it occurred to him that it actually could help to get this conversation headed the right direction. If nothing else, the time it took for the song to play would allow him to collect his thoughts a bit. Plus, he could watch for her reaction. Maybe it would give him clues about how to proceed.

“It might help,” he replied.

“Alright.” Pointing toward the corner of the room she said, “The player’s over there. I think that CD is in slot number four.”

He could feel a growing sense of apprehension, but the opportunity to get up and move helped a little. He found the CD player, and quickly studied the controls. It was a straightforward model, and it was no trouble to find what he wanted. When he was certain the right disk and song were cued, he pushed play.

Turning around to face her again felt like one of the most difficult things in the world at that moment, but Daniel forced himself to do it. As the music began, Janet reflexively looked up and sought his gaze. He saw instant recognition of the song in her eyes, and for a moment he feared that he’d made a mistake – that this was a horrible idea and any second now she was going to jump up and throw him out of her house, screaming that he was a presumptuous jerk and she never wanted to see him again. But then she seemed to make some kind of decision, and purposefully looked away. Easing her head back against the sofa, she closed her eyes and listened.

Silently, Daniel watched her. He waited, looking for any sign of her feelings, as the words filled the air between them. But her face remained impassive. There was no flicker of an eyelid, no hint of a smile, not even the barest tensing or twitching of a muscle. Eventually the song ended and he turned, reaching down to press the stop button. The silence felt heavy, almost deafening now, but as he stood there all his instincts told him simply to wait.

When she finally spoke, her voice was little more than a whisper. “This song makes you think about someone, and how you feel about her?”

Daniel swallowed before softly answering, “Yes.”

More silence – and no movement. But finally she spoke another question, in a soft, low tone. “Is this someone… do I know her?”

Had she figured it out, or was she testing him? His gut sense told him to wait it out just a little longer.

“Yes,” he answered again.

The stillness this time was even more oppressive.

Daniel didn’t think it was possible, but her voice grew softer as she asked, “Is it me?”

For an instant it felt as if his heart froze. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t even breathe. Then, almost like an epiphany, it hit him. Despite all the internal arguing, and all the hesitant excuses, he really did want her to know.

“Yes, Janet, it’s you.” His voice was surprisingly calm, and it seemed as if a weight suddenly lifted from his shoulders. Why had the idea of revealing his feelings implied such a negative connotation for so long?

The answer to that question was instantly brought home to him as Janet slowly straightened in her seat. Her eyes fluttered open and settled upon him. “How long have you felt this way?” There was no accusation in her tone, just a genuine desire to know.

“Honestly felt this way? Only for a few months.” Relieved that at least she wasn’t going to throw him out, Daniel took a few cautious steps toward the sofa. “But it’s been coming on since shortly after the mission where SG-1 discovered the Stromos.”

Janet nodded, glancing away as she processed this information.

“For the longest time I’ve been debating whether or not I should say anything,” he confessed as he moved closer. Sitting on the edge of the sofa he faced her and asked, “Was I wrong to tell you?”

“No, of course not,” she hastily assured. But she continued to avert her eyes as she went on, “I guess this is all just…” Her hand fidgeted imperceptibly in her lap. “Well, it does explain a few things, but it’s… it’s very unexpected.”

Daniel could feel a sense of disquiet stirring inside, but he fought against it. Just give her a little time, he reasoned. She needs to work through this, that’s all.

“And it’s just all so bewildering,” Janet added. The nervousness that was displaying itself in the tiny movements of her fingers was seeping into her tone now. “I don’t think… I’m just not sure how to respond to this.” She was becoming more animated with each passing second and her words began to tumble out in a mad rush. “I mean, what are we supposed to do about working together? How am I supposed to continue being your primary physician? And you say this has been coming on – how serious is this, really? What’s the depth of your feelings? And what are our friends going to think?” She turned on him then, her eyes wide with alarm. “Don’t you understand – this changes everything!”

Despite her growing distress, Daniel was still fairly certain – he realized with great relief – that there was no genuine accusation in her rambling. It was just that in her attempt to make sense of this, it was threatening to overwhelm her. It was a feeling he understood perfectly well. After all, he’d had quite a while to get used to the idea, and it still overwhelmed him at times.

He reached out and grasped her hands. “I know that, Janet – believe me, I do. And please believe me when I say that the last thing I wanted to do was to make this difficult for you.” Encouraged when she continued to meet his gaze, Daniel began to gently rub along the edge of her hands with his thumbs. “But I had to tell you how I felt. I know now that it wouldn’t have been fair – it wouldn’t have been honest for me to pretend my feelings hadn’t changed.” Infusing his tone with every bit of emotion he held for her, he pressed on. “So, regardless of what happens, or how this ends up, I’m not sorry that I told you. I hope you can understand that.”

To his surprise, Daniel saw her eyes mist over. She bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut, clearly attempting to fight back tears. He felt her hands tense beneath his own, but he continued the patient caressing with his thumbs. Then he watched as Janet willed herself to calmness. It began with her breathing, which slowly became more regular. Then he noticed her muscles easing – a sensation that was confirmed seconds later when he felt her hands relax against his. She took a deep breath, released it slowly. Then, at last, her eyes opened and he saw the steady, quiet trust that had been reflected there before.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice quivering slightly.

“It’s okay,” he soothed, and gave her hands an affection squeeze. “We’ll figure this thing out, I promise.”

Janet nodded, but when she said nothing more Daniel became aware the ball was now decidedly back in his court. There was just one more thing he needed to know before going any further.

With a steadying breath of his own he said, “I’ll address all of your questions and concerns, but there’s one thing I have to ask you first.”

Janet tensed slightly but nodded again.

“I need to know how you feel about this.” Squeezing her hands once more he continued, “And by that I don’t mean I want you to try and figure out all the answers to the questions currently flooding your mind, or to project some kind of concept of where this whole thing is going. I just want to know how you feel – right now, this moment.”

Daniel wasn’t entirely certain if he’d effectively communicated his intent, but he held silent, waiting for her reply.

For the longest time she simply stared at him. Eventually, she took another deep breath and said, “I do care about you, Daniel. Your friendship is very important to me.” Her gaze never wavered as she admitted, “But right at this moment, I’m feeling a little bit scared by what I’m feeling.”

“That’s okay,” he acknowledged. “Anything else?”

Another lengthy stare as she considered. “But I think that’s more a fear of the unknown. I’m not… I’m not actually afraid of the way you feel about me.”

He smiled and felt some of the tension melt away. Janet was thinking now, instead of merely responding. She was forcing herself to take a step back and analyze her emotions. It was just one of the many things he admired about her.

“And now that I think about it, I’m even a little bit… curious.” She glanced down at their hands, but made no move to pull away. “It’s been a while since someone showed that kind of an interest in me.” Her shoulders moved in a tiny shrug. “And I guess I’d forgotten how flattering that could be.”

He allowed the silence to settle between them a bit before speaking again. “Janet, I want you to know that no matter how my feelings have changed, I would never want to push you into a relationship you didn’t want. If friendship is all you can offer, then I’ll find a way to be happy with that.”

She nodded. “I think I already knew that, but thank you for being honest with me.”

Daniel couldn’t verify that a resolution had been reached, but there was a distinctive feeling that this particular conversation had come to an end. He released her hands, and eased back toward the opposite corner of the sofa. It was up to Janet now, and he’d just promised that he wouldn’t pressure her.

“We, um… it’s probably been long enough now that we can move the furniture in the guest room, if you feel up to it?”

“Right,” Janet replied. She glanced over at him, her slight smile an unspoken gesture of appreciation for his redirection of the conversation. Standing, she moved around the edge of the couch. “Let’s give it a try then, shall we?”

The bed and dresser were soon back in place, and despite her former protestations of fatigue, Janet decided to pack in the remainder of the room’s items after that. Daniel surmised that it was her need to work out nervous energy caused by their recent discussion, while also allowing her time to mull things over a bit in her head. As they worked Daniel made a point to be careful of his comments, and to not intrude upon her personal space in any way. By the time they were finished, the guest room was back in order and Janet was behaving more like her typical self.

“You were right,” Daniel commented, as they surveyed the finished product. “It does look great.”

She smiled. “You really think so?”

Easing his hands into his pockets he answered, “Of course.”

“Well, again, I couldn’t have done it without your help. I really appreciate it.” Stepping toward the bed she tugged on one of the pillow shams, working out a few more of the wrinkles in the new fabric. “As my way of saying thanks, why don’t you stay for supper?”

The offer was nonchalant, but it still caught him by surprise. “You sure? I don’t want to impose.”

She waved her hand, as if the idea were nonsense. “I was thinking of ordering pizza, so it’s hardly an imposition.”

“In that case, I’d love to.”

She eased past him into the hall. “Pepperoni and mushrooms okay?”

“Perfect,” he answered.

He followed her into the kitchen, and searched out plates and silverware while Janet called a local pizzeria. He helped her fix sodas, and then they passed the time with comfortable small talk. Their meal arrived in the promised twenty minutes and Janet excused herself to pay the delivery boy. But when she reappeared a few minutes later, her hands were conspicuously empty.

“I thought we could eat in the den,” she explained. There was the faintest hint of unease in her manner and she wouldn’t quite meet his gaze. “Maybe watch a movie or something.” Not bothering to offer him a chance for inquiry, much less refusal, she gathered their dishes and headed out the door.

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, Daniel thought bemusedly as he picked up their drinks and followed. He found their dinner spread out across the coffee table and Janet, on her knees, studiously surveying a rack of DVD and VHS tapes.

He set the drinks near where she’d deposited their plates and then found a spot on the sofa to make himself comfortable. “Dare I ask what we’re watching?”

“I was thinking something Austen.” She paused, frowning slightly as she cast a quick glance over her shoulder. “That is, if you don’t mind what the colonel would whole-heartedly classify one of those smaltzy chic flicks.”

Not just a movie, but a romantic movie, Daniel thought curiously. He wasn’t certain whether to be suspicious of this fortuitous situation, or simply to offer thanks to some deity for his luck. Hoping his expression wasn’t revealing too much of his confusion he managed a smile and said, “Well, if you’ll promise not to tell Jack, then I’ll confess that Jane Austen is actually one of my favorite fiction authors.”

“Good man! I knew a well-educated, intelligent sort like yourself would have the good taste to appreciate fine literature.” Her search continued as she reached farther back along the shelf. “Oh dear, I hope the one I’m looking for isn’t loaned out to Sam... ah-ha, here it is.” She stood and held the DVD aloft, like a prized trophy.

Daniel squinted to make out the title. Sense and Sensibility. Recognition of the title, as well as the story behind it, did nothing to appease his growing bewilderment. But one thing was becoming clear. This was going to be one very interesting evening.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

“That has got to be one of the most beautiful declarations of love in the entirety of literature,” Janet declared. As if to further emphasize her point, she sniffled.

Daniel smiled as he passed her another Kleenex.

“Thank you,” she replied, before candidly blowing her nose.

Daniel smiled again. His prediction of an interesting evening had not gone unfulfilled. The friendly plan of pizza and movie watching had begun casually enough, but by the time Lucy Stone had tricked poor Elinor into being her confidant, Janet had settled herself beside him on the sofa. That in itself was not unusual. But in light of their earlier discussion, he couldn’t help but wonder if everything now carried some new implication.

Janet’s behavior and comments during the film had appeared to be typical, but Daniel kept second guessing every nuance. Was her intention to communicate that she was satisfied with being friends and wanted to keep their relationship at that level, or was she attempting to simply maintain normalcy while she processed new possibilities in her mind? And such musings were not helped by the fact that, despite her composure, he was still fairly certain that a subtle tension lingered just beneath the surface.

But is it genuine, he wondered, or just my imagination seeing what I want to see?

Nothing more was said as the credits continued to roll, but then suddenly Janet sat up and fixed him with a beseeching expression. “You don’t think I’m silly for crying over some movie, do you?”

“No, I don’t,” he replied sincerely. Reaching up, he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, his fingertips brushing lightly against her neck as he pulled away. “Besides, it’s not just some movie. It’s one of the most beautiful declarations of love in the entirety of literature.”

She playfully swatted at his arm. “You charmer,” she chided, reaching for the remote.

Her comment had clearly been in jest, but coupled with the affectionate smile she’d displayed, it resulted in the immediate development of twittering butterflies in Daniel’s stomach.

Janet aimed the remote toward the TV and pressed stop, followed by a depression to the power button. Unexpectedly the room went black.

“Oops,” Janet said. “I guess it got dark out.”

No kidding, Daniel thought. Apparently he’d been oblivious to the fact that while they’d sat there watching the film, night had fallen. It occurred to him that it was probably getting late, and he should be formulating a polite means of making his exit. Considering his present circumstance, the thought didn’t hold much appeal.

He felt Janet shift beside him, and then a loss of warmth as she stretched toward the other end of the sofa. A tiny click was heard, immediately followed by a soft glow of illumination.

“There,” Janet said. “That’s better.”

As his eyes adjusted to the lamp light, Daniel saw that she was watching him. Something spirited and anticipatory flashed in her eyes for a moment before she quickly glanced away. The wary excitement he’d been feeling all evening seemed to ratchet up a notch. But when she continued to avert her gaze and failed to return to his side, Daniel began to doubt his interpretation. She eventually looked up again and he noted that her smile had faded, being replaced by a more serious expression.

“You must wonder what in the world to think of me,” she said softly.

Genuinely puzzled, Daniel shook his head.

Her gaze fell to where she absently turned the remote end over end in her hands. She remained that way, lost in thought for several seconds. Then, with a determined sigh, she set the remote aside and met his gaze. “It’s just that now that the shock of your revelation has passed, and I’ve had time to think about it, I came to the conclusion that I rather like the whole idea.” She shrugged and offered an apologetic half-smile. “I just wasn’t sure how to go about actually showing you, or telling you.”

The twittering butterflies returned with a vengeance. “So… are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“I think so,” Janet replied. Her tone hadn’t come across as entirely certain but she slowly eased toward him again. A little hesitantly she reached out and took his hand. With a light sigh she acknowledged, “I know it’s going to mean a lot of changes for me.”

He smiled, allowing the depth of his affection to reflect in his eyes. “Change can be a good thing.”

She nodded as her gaze drifted. “I suppose first thing Monday morning I need to speak to Doctor Carmichael about taking over your primary care.” Quickly glancing back up at him she added, “I mean, if that’s okay? There are other doctors too. It doesn’t have to be Carmichael.”

“No, that’s fine. I like Doctor Carmichael.” He waited a couple of heartbeats before slowly turning his hand beneath hers and gently entwining their fingers.

She looked down at their clasped hands. “I don’t… I mean I’m not exactly sure how things will work out,” she quietly admitted. Then, with a nervous chuckle she added, “Gracious – I’m not even entirely sure what should happen next.”

Daniel reached with his free hand and tenderly pulled her chin until he could see her face. She willingly met his gaze. “For what it’s worth, I’m a little scared too,” he said. He cupped her cheek, softly tracing a pattern across her skin with his thumb. “But I meant what I said before. We’ll figure this out – together.”

Janet gave a tiny nod. “I know. And…” she squeezed where her hand rested in his. “I know I can trust you, Daniel.” Her gaze became slightly more intense and she tilted her head, almost as if she were studying him. The warmth of her smile lit up her entire face as she whispered, “I can see it in your eyes.”

It seemed, for a moment, as if time stood still. Then very slowly Daniel leaned toward her and gently brushed a light kiss across her lips. Pleased that she did not pull away, he carefully reached behind her head and unclasped the simple barrette. Her hair fell freely around her face as he traced his fingertips along her cheek.

“You’re beautiful,” he said.

“You really think so?” There was a sense of awe in her tone, as if she were genuinely surprised by his admittance.

“Very much so,” he confirmed. Purposefully meeting her gaze he added, “Beautiful on the inside, as well as the outside.”

A touch of color warmed her cheeks, making her appear even more radiant.

Somewhat bashfully she said, “Well, as long as we’re being candid… I always have thought you were very attractive.”

His fingers finished their dance across her skin and detoured to run freely through her hair. “Thank you.”

“In fact…” she hesitated, an expression of uncertainty flitting across her features. Then she seemed to settle some inner debate and her smile returned as she reached up to lightly caress the corner of his mouth. She almost giggled as she confessed, “You have the most adorable dimples.”

A light chuckle escaped his lips as Daniel replied, “Well, I’m very glad you like them.”

Janet’s hand fell back to her lap and as she continued to gaze up at him her expression grew serious again. “You know, I think that song is right.”

The sincerity of her gaze sent Daniel’s butterflies into daredevil acrobatics. His heart pounded in his chest and, not trusting his voice he merely returned her affectionate smile.

“There really isn’t anything better than just being with someone you care about,” she said.

And for the first time since this whole crazy business began, Daniel saw it. The look in her eyes was a clear sign that what he felt for Janet just might be reciprocated.

“Yes,” he breathed, unable to say anything more.

His hand, fully twined in her hair now, settled at the back of her neck as he pulled her closer. He met her lips eagerly this time, thrilled to find Janet returning the gesture with equal fervor. Then, to his surprise, he felt her arms circle around his waist. Gladly he granted her silent request to become enveloped in his embrace, marveling at the sheer delight of her warmth as she seemed to melt almost perfectly against him. And as Daniel allowed himself to become lost in the euphoric wonder of kissing this woman in his arms, the final line of that song played over and over in his mind.

There is nowhere better than here with you
And it's feeling so nice

~ THE END ~

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