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Suggested
Rating: for teen and older
readers
Setting:
Season 7, during the events of Space Race
Synopsis:
With a little advice from a friend, Daniel makes a choice.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters and
places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret
Productions. This piece of fan
fiction was created for entertainment only and no infringement on copyrights
or trademarks was intended.
Part 2: FIRST STEP
-by
Michelle Lunsford
Daniel
Jackson walked purposefully down the hall. His friend’s interest in their
upcoming mission reflected more than her usual scientific curiosity, and her
behavior had him wondering if she’d really considered how dangerous
this could be. Rounding the
corner, he entered Samantha’s lab.
“Hey,”
Sam said casually, as she continued loading components for the naquadah
generator.
“Hey,”
he replied, equally nonchalant.
“You ready?”
“Yeah,
just about.”
“Warrick
has set us up some meetings with the highest ranking members of the Hebridian
government and business community,” Daniel commented, leaning slightly
against one of her lab tables.
Sam’s
attention was still focused on her packing, but she managed a slight
smile. “Bet Colonel
O’Neill’s really looking forward to that.”
“Oh
yeah,” he matched her good-natured sarcasm. After a few heartbeats he added,
“You really think this is worth it?”
“Absolutely.” There was no mistaking the assurance
in her voice. She turned to look
at him. “Why, don’t
you?”
“No,
yeah. I just-- you just seem
unusually… gung-ho.”
She
caught his eye again, definitely amused now. “Gung-ho?”
Daniel
smiled. “This is kind of
more than about obtaining new technology for you, isn’t it?”
“You
mean helping Warrick?” She
continued her packing. “He
did once risk his life for me.”
“Yeah,
I read that.” He glanced
down momentarily, finally admitting what was eating at him. “I just think that there’s
something else.”
“Look.” Sam turned, giving him her full
attention. “I know this
could be dangerous. But this is
our job, right? It’s what
we signed on to do. We take risks
in the hopes of achieving new levels of technology.”
Daniel
nodded. But that wasn’t
really his point, and he was fairly certain Sam knew it.
“If
– and I stress if – participating in this race happens to
be a little bit…” Sam continued, making a comical face as she
purposefully feigned ignorance.
“I don’t know--”
“Fun?”
Daniel supplied, trying to match her lighthearted mood.
Sam
shrugged and smiled, her tone suddenly taking on the quality of a giddy
adolescent. “What’s a
girl to do?”
Daniel
smiled in resignation. When it
came to this type of daredevil adrenaline rush, his dear friend was clearly
hopeless. “That’s -
that’s just what I thought.”
Sam
returned her attention to the generator.
“Hey, speaking of having fun, what’s up with you and Janet
lately?”
Sam’s
manner had been as casual is if she’d just asked about the weather, but
the comment caught Daniel so totally off guard he could only stare at her
open-mouthed for several seconds.
“Excuse
me?” he finally sputtered.
She
looked him in the eye. “Oh,
I see. You’re going to take
the shocked denial approach.”
Daniel
blinked, wondering where in the world his friend was going with this. “Really, Sam – what are
you talking about?”
Sam
crossed her arms and leaned against her lab table, her expression indicating
the entire situation should be blatantly obvious.
“Alright,
alright,” Daniel conceded, realizing she wasn’t going to let this
drop. He held up his hands in a
gesture of surrender. “Can
you at least be a bit more specific?”
Sam
smiled broadly. “Well,
Cassie and I were talking recently, and she mentioned that you stayed for a
late dinner the other night.”
Daniel
mirrored her crossed-arm stance, steadfast in an effort to maintain some pretense
of disinterest in the face of Sam’s deliberate insinuation. “Did she also mention that it
was only because I just happened to be there, as I’d helped Cassie in a
broken-down-car crisis, and I stayed to discuss her history paper on Egyptian
culture?”
“Of
course,” Sam replied.
“But Cassie also said that after she went to bed, you and Janet
stayed up talking for a while.”
“Friends
do that sort of thing, on occasion,” he replied calmly.
Sam’s
only response was a dubiously raised-eyebrow.
Daniel shook
his head in mild exasperation.
“It was pizza, for crying out loud,” he exclaimed, hoping
the use of a familiar O’Neill-ism might deter Sam’s persistence.
“Whatever,”
she responded, clearly unmoved.
“Then what about lunch in the cafeteria last week?”
Daniel
scrunched his eyebrows, genuinely puzzled now. “What about it?”
“You,
Teal’c, and the Colonel had just come from the debriefing about the
mission on P3X-403, and you joined Janet and myself at our
table…” Sam allowed her comment to hang unfinished, and waved her
hand in an unmistakably encouraging gesture.
As
comprehension dawned, Daniel could feel heat beginning to rise in his
cheeks. But he was determined not
to give Sam the satisfaction of knowing he understood exactly what she was
hinting. “And?” he
replied coolly.
“Oh,
come on,” Sam goaded.
“When I asked you guys to fill me in, since I wasn’t
required at the briefing, the Colonel and Teal’c were all too willing
to sing your praises, about how you’d worked with Chaka to
single-handedly prevent a massacre by the Unas tribes.”
Daniel
knew there had to be color to his face now, as he recalled the conversation
all to well – including how he’d desperately wanted to slide into
the floor beneath the table at the time.
“They were just feeling uncharacteristically gregarious that
day,” he muttered, absently fingering one of the tools lying on the
table.
“Maybe
– but the point I noticed was that Janet was practically riveted by
every little word they said.”
‘Well,’
Daniel mused to himself, ‘I noticed that too. Which is precisely why I wanted
to slide into the floor.’
Aloud he said, “I’m sure she was just being politely
attentive.”
“Uh-huh,”
Sam replied, unconvinced.
“And then a few minutes later, you noticed Janet had a book with
her, and so you asked what she was reading.”
‘Yes,
anything to get the conversation off of the mission to P3X-403,’ he
silently remembered.
“The
next thing we know,” Sam continued, “you and Janet are off on a fifteen-minute,
extremely enthusiastic discussion about the merits of Jane
Austen.” She shook her head
in amusement. “Even the
Colonel was starting to give you two strange looks.”
Daniel
took a slow, steadying breath, and met her gaze directly. “What exactly are you getting
at, Sam?”
“I
want to know what’s up between you and Janet,” Sam said bluntly,
mischief dancing in her eyes.
Shoving
his hands into his pockets, Daniel affirmed, “Nothing is up between
us.” He was almost able to
look her in the eye as he said it.
Almost.
“Sure
there isn’t,” Sam answered, the tenor of her voice plainly
indicating she believed otherwise.
‘Well,
it was bound to come out sooner or later,’ he thought. Even though he still had no clear
direction regarding how he wanted to act on his feelings, the mere fact that
his feelings toward Janet were beginning to change was something he knew he
couldn’t hide from his closest friends forever. Besides, he knew Janet and Sam were
tight. There was no telling what
they discussed. Daniel ran a hand
through his hair, and sighed.
“Has Janet said anything to you?”
“No,”
Sam confessed, her demeanor suddenly more serious. “At least she hasn’t come
out and said anything directly.”
Daniel
looked at her quizzically.
“We
talked a lot, about you, after you ascended,” Sam explained. “Although Janet never came out
and said it, I always got the impression that your loss affected her more
than she expected it to. And
while she and I haven’t discussed anything along this line since
you’ve been back, I can tell there’s something a little different
about Janet now, especially when she’s around you.”
Daniel
nodded, and dug his hands into his pockets again as he considered that. “So, why are you suddenly asking
me about all this?” he
eventually asked.
Sam
shrugged. “Call it
women’s intuition, but I’ve had my suspicions. Still, it wasn’t until lunch the
other day that I began to feel more certain.” A somewhat sheepish smile began to
work its way across her features.
“And, to be honest, I figured I’d have better luck getting
a confession out of you than I would from Janet.”
“Thanks
a lot,” Daniel rejoined, his tone a little harsher than he intended.
“I
didn’t mean to upset you,” Sam said softly. “I just… I mean,
you’re both my friends. Your
happiness is important to me.”
“I’m
not upset,” Daniel assured.
He strode past her, using the movement to expend some of his
frustration. “At least, not
at you. The entire situation has
just taken me a bit by surprise, I guess.”
“You
want to talk about it?” Sam asked, turning to face him again.
Daniel
smiled at the heartfelt concern he heard in her voice. “I’m not sure
there’s much to talk about.
Yeah, I guess there is something up between Janet and me, but what
that something is, I don’t think either of is quite sure. We only acknowledged it – and
that was somewhat by accident – the other night, when I stayed for
pizza after helping Cass when her car broke down.”
Sam
reached out, her light touch on his arm a simple but reassuring gesture.
“I’ve
been thinking about it a lot since then,” Daniel went on, “but I
don’t feel like I’m any closer to a sense of understanding, or
decision about the whole thing.
We work together, and her being my doctor is certainly an aspect to
consider. And we’re already
good friends. To contemplate
altering those relationships…” He sighed, leaving the thought
unfinished.
“It’s
never easy, facing the reality of falling in love with someone.”
Sam’s
voice was steady, but Daniel caught the flicker of intense emotion in her
eyes. It wasn’t something
they spoke of, but he was well aware of the somewhat ambiguous side of
Sam’s relationship with her superior. On one level, he understood the
decision they had both made.
Their careers and the work they did at the SGC were important to
them. At the same time, Daniel
also knew it wasn’t always easy for his friends, and he fervently hoped
that one day Sam and Jack would see a time when their mutual feelings could
be openly shared.
“And
the choice to act on that possibility, or not, always has
consequences,” Sam went on.
“But I think, in the end, you don’t get anywhere trying to
weigh the pros and cons of each side, or trying to measure the possibility of
regrets. What it boils down to
is… you have to decide which option you can live with, day in and day
out. You have to be able wake up
with yourself each morning and say, ‘this is the choice I’ve
made’.”
Daniel
nodded in understanding. If
nothing else, Janet had made it clear that she had already made such a
choice. While she’d
indicated there was the possibility of wanting something more, she’d
also said she could be very content with keeping things the way they were. ‘So the question remains,’
he reflected wryly, ‘can I be content with that as well?’
“You’re
a very wise woman, Sam.”
Daniel smiled openly at his friend. “Thank you.”
Sam’s
own grin was equally affectionate.
“You’re welcome.”
“And
now I need to leave you to your work,” he added, stepping past her
again. “Besides, I need to
do a little more reading about Hebridan for our upcoming meetings with the
government and business officials.”
“I’ll
see you later then,” Sam replied, going back to her packing.
As Daniel
left her lab, he realized he felt a little lighter in spirit. Sam’s comment had reminded him
that this continual deliberation in his mind wasn’t going to get him
anywhere. There wasn’t
necessarily a right and a wrong to choose between in this case. Nevertheless, a choice needed to be
made. Entering his own office,
Daniel resolved that by the time they returned from Hebridan, that choice
would be made.
* ~ *
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~* ~ * ~*
~ * ~ *
Daniel
knew he was fidgeting, but he couldn’t help it. The post-mission physical with Dr.
Warner – Janet was doing rounds at the military hospital that day
– felt as if it was taking forever. They had to report to General Hammond
for debriefing as soon as everyone was finished. And all Daniel could think about was
getting to the phone in his office.
The
mission to Hebridan had been interesting enough. Daniel had enjoyed the opportunity to
visit another culture and learn about the people. He was happy that Sam was going to get
her ion drive to study. And if he
was honest, he’d even enjoyed being able to just hang around with Jack
for a while, and not have to worry about Goa’uld or Jaffa lurking around every corner.
However,
Daniel had been distracted the entire time they’d been on
Hebridan. Ironically, the
decision he’d been intent on reaching had somehow appeared blindingly
obvious to him not long after they’d arrived on the planet. Perhaps it was the experience of
actually being off world, and literally millions of miles away from Janet,
that had allowed everything to become so clear in his mind. Or maybe it was the fact that, for
once, they really didn’t have to worry about Goa’uld or Jaffa,
and he’d been able to enjoy simply being in the presence of friends he
held so dear. Regardless of the
reason why, Daniel knew now exactly what he wanted. And he’d spent the remainder of
the mission on Hebridan so pleased with the prospect that he’d not only
been distracted, at times he’d felt – and acted – a bit
like some goofy love-struck teenager.
Of
course, being exposed to another culture, and interacting with different
people and aliens, always filled him with a sense of wonder. But it seemed as if everything around
him had a newness, a freshness, which he’d never noticed before. He’d felt energized and
euphoric. He wanted to run
around, to laugh senselessly at the top of his lungs, or even to do something
as absurd as picking flowers and plucking off the petals, reciting the
familiar ‘she loves me, she loves me not’ game. Daniel realized just how bad he had it
when they’d gone to Tech Con.
Jack had used playfulness and charm in an effort to convince the
receptionist to contact Hagan. In
fact, his behavior had bordered on being flirtatious. To his amazement, Daniel found himself
actually playing along. Then, as
Jack dozed off in one of his catnaps, Daniel meandered about the lobby. He’d been unable to resist the
urge to play in the decorative pool, gently tapping his boot against the
water’s surface and happily watching the ripples dance across.
Now he
was home again. And the desire to
act on his decision was becoming overwhelming – to the point that he
feared if he didn’t speak to Janet soon, he was going to explode.
“You’re
all done here.”
Dr.
Warner’s simple comment interrupted Daniel’s thoughts like a
siren, and he fairly bounded out of the infirmary. He’d been next to last, with
Teal’c being the only remaining team member to get checked. Daniel glanced at his watch. Would he have time to go to his
office, look up the number, and make the call? Not likely. In which case he’d have to make
an excuse about why he was late to the debriefing – something he really
didn’t want to do. And he
was beginning to have the sinking feeling that if he didn’t make that
phone call immediately, he’d completely lose his nerve by the time the
debriefing was finished.
Rounding
the corner, he caught sight of something out of his peripheral vision. ‘Of course!’ his mind
shouted in triumph. There were
phones at various points along the corridors throughout the complex. He glanced hastily around. The hallway was deserted. Without a second thought, he reached
for the phone.
It was a
simple matter to request the SGC switchboard to connect him with the military
hospital. Occasionally glancing
over his shoulder to make sure he was still alone, Daniel absently twirled
the phone cord as he waited.
“Dr.
Frasier speaking.”
The sound
of her voice sent such a thrill through him that Daniel nearly dropped the
receiver. “Hi Janet,”
he said, hoping he didn’t sound as ridiculous as he suddenly felt. “It’s Daniel.”
“Oh. When did you get back?”
He smiled
at the pleasure he perceived in her voice. “Just now.”
“Really?” Her voice registered surprise. “How’d the mission
go?”
“Fine. It was fine.” He absently traced a finger down one of
the lines painted along the wall.
“And
the race?”
“Afraid
Sam and Warrick came in second,” he told her. “But I’m sure Sam would
rather fill you in on all the details.”
“Okay.” A slight pause held before Janet spoke
again. “So, what can I do
for you?”
“Um--” Daniel swallowed, his mouth
unexpectedly dry. He glanced
around again, wondering if perhaps this hadn’t been such a good idea
after all. “I’ve been
thinking.”
“And?”
“And,
I happen to know that the Theater Works program at the University of Colorado
is doing a production of Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night this
weekend.” Daniel knew the
words came out in a rush, but he couldn’t fight it. It suddenly felt as if his resolve was
dwindling away. “I was
wondering if you’d like to have dinner with me on Saturday, and see the
show afterwards.”
The
resulting silence on the line was thick and deafening and Daniel felt his
stomach drop.
“Daniel?” Janet’s voice finally broke
through.
“Yes?”
he whispered hoarsely.
“Is
this intended to be strictly an outing between two friends?”
‘She
doesn’t beat around the bush,’ he thought wryly. Then again, he hadn’t expected
any less from her. And there was
no way he could lie – not about this. “It’s more like the first
step, by a friend, down a path that he hopes could lead to something more
than just friendship.”
The
stillness from the other side felt twice as heavy as it had before.
“Daniel,
I’m afraid I’m scheduled to work Saturday – a double
shift. I promised to cover for one
of the other doctors who wanted to attend his daughter’s recital that
night.”
‘Well,
at least she’s going to be nice, and let me down easy,’ he
thought. Forcing himself to sound
calm, he replied, “I understand.”
The line
was quiet again. Daniel racked
his brain for some sensible way to make his goodbye and simply end this
torture. When Janet spoke again,
her voice was so soft he almost missed it.
“How
about Friday instead?”
Daniel
blinked. “Friday?”
“I
know we both have to work that day, but if I’m remembering correctly,
SG-1 isn’t scheduled to be off-world. So long as no emergencies happen at
the last minute, I think it should work.”
“So…
is that a ‘yes’, then?” He wanted to be sure he hadn’t
misunderstood.
“Yes,
Daniel. It’s a yes.”
He was
almost positive he could hear her smile.
“Listen
Daniel, I’ve just been paged.
We’ll have to work out the specifics of our date later. Call me at home tonight?”
Daniel
felt a grin spread across his face.
‘Our date.’ He
liked the sound of that. “Yeah,
of course. Call tonight.”
“Okay. I have to go. Bye.”
And then
the line was dead. Daniel
continued to stand there, holding the receiver and grinning like a loon. He couldn’t remember the last
time he’d felt so happy.
“Hey,”
Sam called suddenly behind him.
“Hey,”
he replied, hastily hanging up the phone. ‘Play it cool, Jackson,’ his mind warned as he
turned to join her. ‘Play
it cool.’
“I
just heard from Warrick,” she was saying, her pace quick as she headed
toward the briefing room. “The
winner of the race hired him as co-pilot under a new contract for Tech
Con.”
“That’s
great.”
“Yeah,
he sounded really happy.”
“You
don’t,” Daniel observed.
She gave
a barely perceptible shrug.
“I’m fine.”
Her tone wasn’t exactly convincing.
“You’ve
still got that ion drive to study,” he pointed out. He was not going to allow one of his
friends to be down while he was so cheerful.
“I
know,” she replied, some of her initial enthusiasm returning. “Very cool.”
In his present mood, Daniel could not pass up the opportunity to rib his
friend a little.
“You’re just sorry you lost.”
“Well
come on – it wasn’t fair,” she declared indignantly. “Bunch of cheaters.”
Daniel
smiled. “So what ya gonna
do?”
Sam
looked over at him, donning a smile of her own. “Next year, I’m gonna kick
butt.”
Daniel
almost laughed at that. They
walked on in companionable silence for a few more paces.
“So,
who were you talking to on the phone?” Sam asked.
‘So
much for playing it cool,’ he thought. “Janet.”
“Anything
you want to tell me about?”
Sam gave him a playful nudge with her elbow.
Daniel
smiled impishly. “Maybe
later,” he said, stepping ahead of her to move up the stairs towards
the briefing room.
“Cheater,”
she whispered in mock-challenge at his retreating back.
Daniel
merely continued to smile to himself.
~ END ~
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