Suggested Rating: for teen and older readers

Category: Daniel/Janet

Setting: takes place immediately after the events of Divide and Conquer

Synopsis: Resolution at last! Or, at least, a new leg in the journey.

Author’s Comments: Part 22 in The Journey series. Thanks much to those of you who have hung with me this long. No, that doesn’t mean this is the final story – not by far. But I feel you’ve all been waiting for this one with determined, if sometimes frustrated, patience. I hope it’s been worth it. And thanks to my editor in crime, Sonia.

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters and places (the Stargate SG-1 stuff) are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment only and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are creations of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

IT’S A WOMAN’S PEROGATIVE TO CHANGE HER MIND

- by Michelle Lunsford (August 2007)

No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road, turn back. -Turkish proverb

“Thank you,” Janet whispered. It had taken a good deal of her resolve to make this statement, and even more to manage it in a civil tone, but she felt it was owed.

“It was the least I could do.” Anise’s reply, though equally hushed, still came across with that condescension that made Janet’s skin crawl. “I understand that Major Carter and Martouf were very close.”

You don’t understand one whit about Sam or about any of us, Janet though venomously. And the sooner this is over and you’re gone, the better.

In an effort to quell a sarcastic remark, Janet clasped her hands behind her back and redirected her attention. Sam was on the other side of the room, leaning over Martouf’s body, which had been prepared for transport back to the Tok’ra planet. She was murmuring some farewell and then placed a light kiss on his forehead before turning away. Nothing more was said as the major stepped aside and without preamble Anise and her Tok’ra companion escorted Martouf’s remains out the door.

That door had barely latched before Janet was across the room and reaching for her friend’s hand. “Sam?” she offered, uncertain what else to say.

Sam turned and, without hesitation, almost fell against her a clinging hug. “I hate this. I absolutely hate this,” Sam muttered, sniffling as she pulled back just enough to meet Janet’s gaze. “I know we’ve been through a lot, and I accept that it’s part of the job, but this…”

“I know,” Janet agreed, her own eyes prickling with tears. “I know.”

Sam slipped out of the embrace, wiping at her eyes as she moved toward the room’s small table. “At least Anise will be able to study his remains and hopefully gain some knowledge about the zatarc technology.” Dropping into one of the chairs she went on, “Although I have to admit, as much as I can appreciate the use of science in this instance, and what might be gained from it, that doesn’t really provide much in the way of comfort.”

Janet went to the table too, but opted to remain standing. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked tentatively.

“I honestly don’t know.” Sam glanced at the door. “I’m not even sure if I’m needed somewhere right now...”

Deciding that was as close to an invitation to remain as she was likely to get, Janet pulled up a chair.

“For once, no you’re not. The summit is underway and could take several hours, what with all the diplomatic pomp and circumstance that will be required.” She paused, albeit unwillingly, as her traitorous thoughts took this opportunity to remind her that Daniel would be involved with that meeting. “And I’m sure whatever projects you have going in the lab can wait, at least a little while.”

She was pleased to see her last comment garnered a smile, however brief, from her friend.

“Probably so,” Sam conceded. But her countenance fell as she met Janet’s eyes once more. “And Colonel O’Neill?”

Janet shook her head. “I haven’t heard. I don’t think he was slated as part of the summit ceremonies, even before this zatarc mess began. He might be following up with security or, considering what he’s been through, may just be laying low for the moment.” She shrugged. “But I have a feeling Teal’c is keeping an eye on him.”

Sam’s brows suddenly furrowed over darkened eyes and Janet wondered if she’d said too much. But there was no need to beat around the bush.

“Teal’c and I made a pact of sorts,” she began, resting her hands casually on the table. “We just wanted you to know that what we witnessed will stay between us. And that we trust that the situation is not going to be a problem.”

“Thank you,” Sam said. “And it’s not a problem.” Leaning forward to rest her chin in cupped hands, she amended, “Well, at least no more of a problem than it’s ever been.”

Janet recalled the time O’Neill had been trapped on Edora. She’d suspected then that more than professional and friendly concern was motivating Sam and had questioned it. This time she merely sat in silence and believed in her friend.

“It’s not a problem,” Sam went on after a few seconds silence, “as it regards the military. I made that choice from the start and, apparently, so did the colonel. Besides, having feelings is one thing. Choosing to act on them, or not, is something different. So you see—” she broke off, seemingly uncertain now. Her gaze had been directed at some unspecified spot of wall but her eyes flicked back to Janet as she continued, “What I mean is, I don’t want this to be a problem… But Janet, actually hearing him say the words – that he cares about me… that’s something different too.”

I care about you a great deal. And I felt you deserved to know that.

The sentiment echoed in her memory with as much clarity as if Daniel had just spoken the words at her shoulder. Janet swallowed, determined not to let her own troubles interfere with her ability to help her friend.

“Yes,” she acknowledged, glad her voice was holding steady. “Knowledge like that does change things. But you still have the same choice to make, in the end – whether to act on those feelings or not. And I believe you and the colonel have made your choice.”

Sam sighed, but there was no bitterness in it. “Now we just have to learn to live with that choice.”

And may you both have better luck than I have, Janet thought with sad sincerity.

They remained in companionable silence for a while. Then, without warning, Sam rubbed at her face as she slid back her chair.

“Guh – why is it that crying always makes your skin feel like dried out leather and your eyeballs like a dustbowl?”

Janet could have given a medical explanation to answer her friend’s sudden query, but she knew that wasn’t the point. “Blasted irritating side effect, if you ask me,” she quipped instead.

Managing a tiny smile, Sam reached across the table to clasp Janet’s hand. “Thanks, Janet. I appreciate you’re being here with me. I guess I did need to talk, a little.”

Janet smiled in return. “Glad I could help.”

“Now, I’m going to clean up and see if I can’t get some work done.” Sam glanced at her watch. “Good grief, it’s already past two.”

Janet wasn’t certain if Sam meant two in the afternoon or morning. Time had a way of becoming irrelevant when you were twenty plus levels below ground and dealing with life or death situations concerning your dearest friends.

Sam began to rise from her chair. “Maybe I should consider getting something to eat too.”

“Maybe we both should,” Janet admitted as she joined her. “I’d completely lost track of the time as well.”

They’d only made it a couple steps from the table when Sam halted, spun on her heel, and met Janet’s eyes with a somewhat guilty expression.

“What?” Janet asked.

“I am an idiot,” Sam said. “Here you’ve just been sitting patiently with me, being such a good friend, and I don’t even think to return the favor.”

Janet wasn’t certain what that implied, but before she could seek further explanation Sam inquired how she was holding up.

“After all, I imagine it can’t have been easy seeing what happened to Lieutenant Aster, and then watching us undergo the testing and facing the potential treatment.”

“No,” Janet confirmed. Was it just her or did the room seem a little colder now. “In fact, it was horrible.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sam prodded.

Do I? she silently wondered. This was one instance where she doubted talking would bring much relief. Especially since any discussion was likely to skirt much too closely to her dilemma with Daniel.

“I don’t think so,” Janet replied slowly. “Although I do appreciate the offer.”

“Okay.” Sam’s acceptance had an air of reluctance about it but she headed toward the door again. “Just know that I’m here, if you change your mind.” She paused only a moment as they stepped into the corridor. “Or consider talking to someone else, maybe. I know you and Daniel have a special friendship, and you even have something in common from this situation, by both having to watch from the sidelines as it were.”

It took so much effort not to falter at the mere mention of Daniel’s name that Janet was unable to restrain her tongue.

“Daniel and I aren’t getting along so well.”

It was only a couple of heartbeats before Sam replied in a very noncommittal but clearly unsurprised, “I see.”

Janet stopped even as she reached out a hand to halt her friend. “What?” she asked, unable to mask the accusation in her tone.

Sam’s shrug conveyed a hint of apology. “I guess I’d noticed there seemed to be a bit of… tension between the two of you lately.”

So, the cool indifference Daniel and I have been adopting since our last fight hasn’t totally slipped under the radar like I’d hoped. Janet nearly flinched as that thought passed through her mind. Who am I kidding? Daniel’s anything but indifferent. He’s likely so worried about setting me off again that he’s keeping his distance. And I’m still trying to live in denial of the whole thing.

“I’d chalked it up to this zatarc incident,” Sam went on, “but are you implying there’s something else going on?”

Janet sighed. “It’s a long story.”

“We could talk about it over our lunch. That is, if you want to.”

Another sigh. “I’ll think about it.”

At that moment, she’d felt it worked as well as anything for an excuse to drop the subject. But Sam held silent the remainder of the trip to the officer’s mess and Janet couldn’t hide from her thoughts. As much as she despised the idea of revealing her personal fiasco to her best friend, Janet was also tired of bearing this burden alone. And recent events had shed new light on the extent to which she’d hurt Daniel. She’d noticed how much Sam and the colonel’s predicament had troubled him. In the past, they would have commiserated together, and found strength in that. But although she’d sensed, several times, that Daniel had wanted to say something or to simply offer some innocent physical gesture of comfort, he’d held back.

You’ve really messed up this time.

By the time she and Sam had gotten their meal and sat at one of the tables in the nearly empty mess, Janet found she was pouring out the entire story in detail.

Sam, who had listened attentively, leaned forward in her chair and met Janet’s gaze. “Believe me, I can understand your initial decision to hide your feelings,” she began. “I also understand your later decision to not act on those feelings and focus on friendship instead.”

“If only those decisions hadn’t backfired on me,” Janet replied. Anger colored her tone but she regretted it when she remembered her friend’s situation. She hastily back pedaled, “Not that I think a choice like that can’t work—”

Sam cut her off with a raised hand. “Don’t worry, no offense taken.” She leaned further in and lowered her voice. “Granted, there are some ways our situations are alike. But they’re also different. For one thing, although there are a number of reasons why a romantic relationship would be complicated given your working relationship, there aren’t any military regulations against it. And second, Daniel has been a lot more forthright about his feelings on the matter. Sounded to me like his confession was made in the hope it might lead to something.”

Janet nodded and opened her mouth to reply but Sam held up her hand again.

“Which brings me to a point that needs to be made, but I have a feeling you’re not going to like it.”

Janet braced herself as she watched her friend take a steadying breath of her own.

Tapping a finger against the table surface for emphasis, Sam said, “Granted, we don’t know how long Daniel has felt this way toward you. And, considering how he behaved with Ke’ra, I think you were justified in making the choice you did, when you did. But consider this. If his confession had come just a few months earlier, before you’d decided to bury your own feelings, how do you think you might have responded?”

Janet couldn’t deny that this thought hadn’t occurred to her before. But she’d always pushed it aside as one of those pointless what if scenarios. Somehow, coming from her friend, it didn’t seem nearly so pointless now. And despite how far things had degraded, she wasn’t so removed from those initial sparks to forget how her heart had felt.

Of course, that was part of her problem. And their fight that night had brought it to the surface.

I’m angry because it’s dredged up everything I worked so hard to bury. And I hate that it’s made me question my feelings all over again!

“You’re right, Sam,” she conceded, averting her eyes as she bit her lip. “And I’m beginning to realize just how dishonest I’ve been, trying to convince myself that I don’t feel anything other than friendship toward him. But—”

When she broke off, unable to give word to her thoughts, Sam reached across and took her hand.

“It’s okay, Janet. We all make mistakes. Sometimes we even make wrong choices. The real problem lies in not learning from that, and in continuing down the same path once we see it’s the wrong one.”

Janet glanced up, meeting her eyes. “You think I’ve made the wrong choice.” It wasn’t a question.

Shaking her head, Sam countered, “That’s not my call to make. I’m simply trying to give advice based on the situation as it seems to me. But remember what we talked about earlier – part of a situation like this is learning to live with the choice you’ve made. And only you can decide what that really means for you.”

Janet considered that for a moment. Thus far, her decision to remain as friends only with Daniel had done little more than make her life miserable. And from what she’d perceived, it hadn’t made Daniel all that happy either. Of course, he’d agreed to abide by that choice. But wasn’t that based on her desire? Which implied, didn’t it, that he would willingly choose his own unhappiness if it meant somehow making her happy?

What a fool I’ve been.

Sensing a rising trepidation Janet gripped her friend’s hand a little tighter. “But the other prospect… to be honest, Sam, it scares me.”

“It’s okay to be afraid, Janet,” Sam acknowledged. “In fact, I’d be worried if you weren’t. The possibility of falling in love… well, that always involves risk.”

At those words her entire body tensed. Is that what I’m really afraid of? Of falling in love with him?

“There’s one more thing,” Sam continued, leveling her gaze. “Regardless of what you choose, you owe Daniel an apology. And you owe it to him to be honest. About everything.”

“You’re right,” she sighed. Releasing Sam’s hand, she began gathering her lunch tray. But she met the other’s eyes before adding, “I want to thank you, Sam. I didn’t realize how much I needed to talk about this, and you’ve helped me get some things in perspective.”

Sam’s expression softened again. “You’re welcome. And for your sake, and Daniel’s, I do hope that perspective gets you pointed in the right direction – whatever that is.” As they stood, she continued, “You’re both very dear to me, and I want you to be happy.”

“Thank you, Sam. I trust you know I have the same wish for you.”

“I know.” The major managed a smile. “And I am. I’ve made the right decision for me.” She gave Janet a pointed look. “Now it’s your turn.”

^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

The summit hadn’t ended by the time Janet completed her shift and she stood in the doorway of Daniel’s office contemplating what to do. She supposed she could remain on base, but it had been a long, stressful day and she longed to see Cassie and experience the comfort and safety she always felt at home. Stepping to his desk, and trying not to disturb the haphazard stacks of books and papers there, Janet unearthed a small notepad and jotted a message that she hoped would communicate her need without simultaneously causing him to worry.

Daniel, please call me at home as soon as you can. Doesn’t matter how late. Nothing is wrong but it is important. Thanks. –Janet

“That will have to do,” she informed the empty room, then propped the notepad against his computer monitor and headed for the elevator.

Once home, cooking, eating, and cleaning up afterward provided a much needed distraction. Then Cassie’s request of help with some biology homework transitioned into a discussion about science and medicine in general. Janet enjoyed their conversation – Cassie’s interest in simply sitting about and chatting with mom had waned a little since she’d entered her teen years – and the troubles of her day had been forgotten. But when her daughter headed for bed at nearly eleven o’clock, Janet’s thoughts returned to Daniel and the fact that he hadn’t yet called.

Could the summit have lasted this long? She’d been under the impression it was little more than ceremony to solidify the agreement that had been hammered out weeks before, but perhaps recent events had given rise to complications. Or maybe he just didn’t see her note. Or, despite her instruction, he’d not wanted to contact her this late at night.

More likely he’s just too tired to face something as unpleasant as talking to me.

Janet’s fingers froze, half-way through buttoning her pajama top. Had that thought really just gone through her head? Searching internally for what might have prompted it, she sagged onto the edge of the bed with an unpleasant realization.

Is it possible I’ve ruined things so badly that he won’t be interested in giving me a second chance?

Inhaling sharply, Janet strove to push that notion aside – it wouldn’t do her any good to imagine the worst – and finished dressing for bed. She tried reading for a while, but the words wouldn’t stick in her head. Placing the book aside, she gave in to staring at the ceiling in the dark. She was lying like that, almost an hour later, when the phone rang.

Cursing her heart for going from normal to mach three in the few seconds it took to reach for the receiver, Janet forced herself to wait until it rang a second time before answering.

“Hello?” she said, realizing her pitch was entirely too hopeful despite her efforts.

“Janet, it’s me. Daniel.” She noted the uncertainty in his voice. “I hope it’s not too late. Your note said not to worry about the time. That is, it said, doesn’t matter how late, and that you had something important to discuss. But still, I know it’s late, so I hope I didn’t wake you…”

The fact that he was prattling on, in that way that only he could, comforted Janet more than any point-blank assurance might have.

“No, no, it’s fine,” she replied. “I wasn’t sleeping. In fact, I was waiting for you to call. I’m… I’m glad you called.” Great. Now she was prattling too. Somehow, that recognition wasn’t nearly as comforting to her.

“So what’s so important?” he asked when she didn’t go on.

Everything she’d contemplated saying throughout that afternoon suddenly evaporated from her mind. She didn’t have the foggiest notion where to begin.

“Janet?” He questioned in the lingering silence. “Is everything all right?

She took a deep breath and, striving for a sense of calm she did not feel, spoke into the receiver. “Daniel, things haven’t exactly been all right with me for some time. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to come to this point, and I’m even sorrier that we’re having this conversation over the phone at midnight, but I’d really like it if we could talk about things between us.”

He didn’t answer right away, fueling Janet’s doubts again. “It’d like that, too.” His reply, though sincere, sounded a tad reserved. “But… we don’t necessarily have to have this conversation over the phone. We could talk face to face.”

“If it’s all the same, I’d rather not put this off until tomorrow,” she admitted. Now that she’d begun, she wasn’t keen on backing out. “And I know we’re both tired, that we’ve both had a very trying da—”

“That’s not what I meant,” he interrupted. “I’m on my cell. And I’m almost to the exit that leads to your side of town.” He hesitated, just noticeably. “I could be at your house in about fifteen minutes.”

“Oh.” Janet clutched the bedcovers a little closer to her chin. Well, it’s not as if this will be the first time he’s made a late night house call, her inner voice prompted. And with luck, this encounter will have a more positive outcome. “Well then… I guess I’ll see you in fifteen minutes.”

“Okay. See you then.”

At least, she thought with satisfaction when he hung up, Daniel sounds as nervous about this as I am.

Easing out of bed, Janet drew on her oversized terrycloth robe. She paused to check on Cassie and found her sleeping soundly. By the time she heard Daniel’s car pulling in the drive she had the coffee going.

“Hi.” She greeted him at the door just as he started up the porch steps. Thrusting her hands in the pockets of her robe she tried to sound casual. “Cassie’s sleeping and there’s coffee in the kitchen.”

“Thanks,” he said, not quite meeting her eyes.

There was a perceptible indecisiveness in his manner as he slipped past her, but once Janet joined him in the kitchen he seemed more settled. She poured two mugs, fixed his the way she knew he liked it, and motioned toward the table.

“The summit lasted much longer than I thought it would,” she began by way of introduction after they’d sipped coffee several seconds in silence.

“Actually it was finished a few hours ago,” he admitted. “After that I went in search of Jack, and then Sam. I wanted to see how they were doing after all the fallout.” He shrugged. “Turns out they’d already gone home for the night.”

“That’s good,” Janet replied. “I’d been concerned that Sam might opt to stay at the SGC, which likely would result in her being up most the night working in her lab.”

“Right,” Daniel agreed. “Anyway, after that I got something to eat. And by that time it was so late I figured I should stay in my quarters rather than going home. I stopped by my office to pick up some things,” he leveled his gaze on her, “and that’s when I found your message.”

And now you’re here. Wrapping her hands around her mug where it sat on the table, Janet cleared her throat and began. “Listen, I’m going to admit from the start that I’m pretty nervous right now, and even more unsure how to go about this.”

“You said you wanted to talk… about us,” he said evenly, his expression unrevealing.

Nodding as she glanced away to stare into her coffee, Janet plowed on. “I suppose I should begin by apologizing. I’m sorry that we fought and that I’ve been behaving so coldly toward you since. But more than that…” she paused, wanting to get the words just right. “Daniel, when you came to me several weeks ago, telling me how you felt, you were honest and sincere. Since then you’ve been very understanding and patient with me.” She looked up, meeting his eyes. “I haven’t always responded in kind and I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you.” His voice was gentle but reflected a trace of despondency.

She brought the mug to her lips, stalling for time as she strove to figure out where to go next. But her thoughts remained uncooperative and in the ensuing silence she noticed Daniel was beginning to fidget.

“So,” he began, gazing across the table toward one of the empty chairs, “what happens now? We absolve one another and try to get back to some kind of normalcy?”

Something in the almost phlegmatic way he dropped this comment recalled her previous fear. Her stomach tightened and she had the sudden urge to gather her legs up and draw herself into a tight, safe little ball.

“That depends,” she answered carefully, “on whether or not you’re willing to give me another chance.”

“Another chance for what?” he snapped, focusing his attention back on her. “To break my heart again?”

Janet jerked back as if struck. But she managed to hold his gaze and saw the look of remorse that flooded his eyes before he slumped forward to rake a hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It was uncalled for and—”

“No,” she cut him off, her voice increasingly unsteady. “It was justified. I know I’ve hurt you, Daniel. I never meant to but I know I have, and I’m so very sorry.”

Stillness held for what seemed far too long and Janet could feel tears beginning to pool at the corners of her eyes. She gave in to her unease by pulling one leg up close to her chest and wrapping her arms around it in a vise grip.

Then, with a heavy sigh, Daniel said, “Janet, this isn’t about who can offer the most apologies.” Raising his head to look at her, he went on, “It’s about being honest, with our feelings and with each other.”

“Which is something I haven’t been,” she acknowledged. “But if you’ll hear me out, I’d like to change that.”

With a slow nod of acceptance, Daniel eased back in his chair. Taking a deep breath, Janet began her confession. Sometimes she was able to hold his gaze, other times she had to look away. But she was grateful that he listened with patient attention, never once interrupting. She laid bare every detail, from her initial discovery of feeling more than friendship toward him, to the guilt and uncertainty she’d felt in the wake of Sha’re’s death, her jealousy of Ke’ra, and the subsequent decision to bury her feelings. Trying to explain in ways she hoped would make sense Janet shared the ambiguity she’d experienced when he’d confessed his own feelings, and how her frustration had only grown as things between them became more fractured and tense.

“In hindsight I understand I was lying to myself, at least about parts of it,” Janet admitted. “I guess I thought that if I just buried my feelings deep enough, everything would be okay. And if you never had to know… maybe it would be less painful that way.” Meeting his eyes she confessed, “But now I realize that only hurt you more, because you didn’t – couldn’t – understand where I was coming from, what was motivating me. And in the end all you saw was my rejection as I increasingly distanced myself.”

For several heartbeats Daniel just sat there, gazing back at her. Then, brows momentarily peaking behind his glasses, he shook his head and said, “Well, I can’t say that I like everything I’ve just heard, but it certainly makes things more clear.”

She gave a half shrug but said nothing more. She imagined it would take time for him to process everything and as the silence grew thick around them it dawned on her that a resolution might not come tonight.

Leaning across the table, Daniel slowly turned his empty mug between his hands. “I appreciate your honesty. As difficult as it was for me to hear some of that, I’m sure it was as difficult or more so for you to share it.” His hands stilled as he fixed his eyes on her. “But I think we’re back to the same question… What happens now?”

“I’m afraid.” It seemed such a simple, if somewhat outlandish thing to say at that moment. But now that she’d opened her heart, that single emotion rose to the surface with startling clarity.

Brows furrowing, Daniel pushed his mug aside and turned more fully toward her. “Of what?”

Blowing out a breath in mild frustration, Janet sought to give order to the myriad responses that flooded her mind. “Things changing between us… of getting too close… of it not working out.” She slipped her foot back down to the floor, rubbing her leg to fight the tightness that had built from holding it in one position too long. “I’m afraid of all the complications a relationship could cause in our work, and – although I know it’s silly – even of what people might think or say.” She paused, wary of the next item but knowing it had to be said. “I’m afraid of living in Sha’re’s shadow.” Janet saw him flinch, just noticeably at that, but he followed with a small nod of understanding. Dropping her gaze, she placed her hands on the table, thumbs scratching together out of nervous habit. “But I think most of all, I’m afraid of losing you.”

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she felt his hand on hers, noticed him leaning lower and closer in an effort to catch her eye.

“Janet, I have those same kinds of fears.”

Jolted somewhat by this revelation, Janet narrowed her eyes and fairly demanded, “Then… why did you never say so before?”

“Considering how you responded to my confession, I didn’t exactly have a reason to.” He shrugged, his frown somehow managing to communicate reprimand, apology, and affection at the same time.

“Touché,” she replied, unable to fight a slight chuckle at this well-deserved chiding.

He gave no further response but she noticed he’d made no effort to let go of her hand. It occurred to her that it had been a long time, far too long in fact, since they’d shared in some familiar, friendly gesture of physical contact, and that she’d missed that more than she realized. But as she gazed down at his hand on hers, Janet discerned something was different now. She became aware that her skin was tingling. Somehow she suspected it wasn’t simply because he’d started tracing tiny circles along the top of her hand with his thumb.

“You know,” she began, still staring at their hands and hoping this wouldn’t sound too ridiculous. “I know this really great guy. He’s intelligent, compassionate…” she felt her cheeks flush but added the next bit anyway, “and quite attractive. And although he’s been a faithful, wonderful friend for years, he came to me one day and intimated that his feelings toward me had grown beyond friendship. That day he made me an offer. An offer I foolishly refused.” She swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. “Do you suppose there’s any chance at all this guy could still be interested?” She risked glancing up to meet his gaze. “That his offer maybe still stands?”

Daniel reached to take her other hand, grasping both with renewed fervor as his eyes held hers. “Most definitely,” he whispered. “In fact, I think he’d declare that interest, and make that offer, now more than ever.”

Janet felt quite certain the grin that broke across her face was unreasonably large and not a little on the goofy side. But she couldn’t help it. Relief had washed over her at his reply. Relief quickly followed by an unexpected giddiness.

“Ah, there’s that smile I remember,” Daniel teased. But Janet would have sworn her heart stopped completely when in the next instant he reached up to caress her face and add, “How I’ve missed seeing that beautiful smile.”

Demurely lowering her eyes, she guessed her cheeks must be blazing red by now. “So, would you like another cup of coffee?” she asked, the words coming out in a high pitched rush.

Daniel dropped his hand but his reply was definitely amused. “For the delight of your company alone I’d say yes, but,” he slid his chair back and began to stand, “I know it’s late. If I have any hope of getting home without falling asleep at the wheel, then I better get going.”

Gathering their mugs Janet carried them to the sink and aimed for a nonchalant tone that completely failed. “Maybe we could meet for breakfast at the SGC. We could compare calendars. See when might be a good time to, I don’t know, go do something after work, or something.” She turned back around and found that Daniel now sported a grin as enthusiastic as hers had been a moment ago. Which, of course, made her start smiling all over again.

“That would be nice,” he agreed. Then his expression grew serious and he stepped closer. “On a completely different note, since I haven’t had an opportunity to ask yet,” he clasped her hand, “how are you doing after today’s zatarc disaster?”

Closing her eyes, Janet shook her head. “It was terrible and I hated it.” She looked up, grateful for the consideration and warmth she saw reflected in those familiar pools of blue. “But it’s over now. I’m relieved that Sam and Colonel O’Neill are okay. For the moment, that’s all that matters.”

He nodded. “Okay. But if later, you feel the need to talk about any of it, you’ll either come find me or call me, right?”

Giving his hand a squeeze she assured, “I will.”

She led him out of the kitchen, joyfully noting that he kept holding onto her hand until they actually reached the front door. As they stepped onto the porch Daniel expressed his thanks for the coffee and conversation.

“Drive safe,” she warned. “And sleep well.”

“You too.” He reached for her hand to give it one, final caress. “I’ll see you later, at breakfast.”

She pulled the collar of her robe up around her neck as he walked away, but doubted the chill she experienced had anything to do with the night air. Her heart was racing, and despite her fatigue Janet suspected this delightful new anticipation pulsing through her would make sleep problematic. But a little less rest would be worth it, she mused, closing the door behind her after he’d driven away.

I’ve made the right choice now. She smiled to herself. And it’s a choice I can live with.

~ THE END ~

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