Suggested Rating: for young adult and older readers

Setting: Season 7, between episodes Space Race and Avenger 2.0

Synopsis: Daniel and Janet go on their first date.

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment only and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended.

Part 3: DEVELOPMENTS

-by Michelle Lunsford

Daniel shifted the gear in park, turned off the ignition, and took a deep breath. The day had been fairly uneventful – which also meant it felt as if it had dragged on interminably. But seventeen-thirty had finally rolled around. He’d checked in at the infirmary just before leaving base, and found Janet busy with one of the control room lab techs. It wasn’t anything serious – an accident resulting in some minor burns that required cleaning and bandaging. With a smile, she had assured him that she would soon be able to leave as well. He’d driven home, showered quickly, and spent far too much time deciding what to wear. He still wasn’t certain if the combination of dark slacks, blue shirt and casual sports coat he’d opted for was the best choice, but it was too late to make any changes now. It was rather ridiculous, he had to admit, but this was actually the first time he’d been on a date since his university days. And truth be told, he was far more nervous now than he’d ever been back then.

Exiting the car, he made his way up the walkway and onto Janet’s front porch. Soft lighting beckoned from the front windows. He could just make out the sound of some of Cassandra’s music.

‘Now or never,’ he thought resolutely. Drumming up his courage, Daniel pressed the doorbell.

The echo of teenage pop music abruptly ended. There was the faint sound of footsteps, and then the door opened. Daniel was somewhat relieved to see it was Cassandra.

“Hey,” the girl greeted him affectionately. “Come on in. Mom’s just about ready.”

Daniel surreptitiously stepped over the threshold. He felt absolutely beside himself with nervous energy, and thrust his hands in his pockets in some vain attempt to fight it.

“You’re looking sharp tonight,” Cassandra commented, giving him an appraising look up and down as she closed the door behind him.

“Thanks,” he replied, reassured that perhaps his choice of attire would prove acceptable after all. When he noticed Cassandra’s continued scrutiny, he finally yielded to some of his anxiety. “Cass, what are you grinning at?”

“I’m sorry,” she replied, her tone indicating she wasn’t necessarily all that apologetic. “It’s just that I think I’m nearly as giddy as Mom is about tonight.”

Daniel experienced a moment of panic and his brow creased in sudden worry.

“No, no, no,” Cassandra quickly amended, waving her hands animatedly. “I mean, yes, Mom is nervous – but she’s also very excited.” Her grin returned. “And if she knew I was telling you this she’d probably kill me.”

The touch of humor was just what he needed to ease the tension that had been mounting ever since he’d turned into their drive. He nodded and leaned in towards her, conspiratorially.

“It will be our little secret,” he whispered. Straightening again, he added, “Besides, your mom isn’t the only one who’s nervous.”

“I figured as much,” Cassandra commented. “But, I’m sure you guys will have a great time. Dinner and Shakespeare – very nice, Daniel. You did well.”

‘I hope so,’ he thought silently.

“I’ll just go let Mom know you’re here,” she continued, then disappeared down the hall.

Daniel’s eyes roamed over the walls and furnishings of the entryway. Pictures of Cassandra, at various ages, formed a huge collage on the wall opposite the hall closet. A piano sat against the same wall, and Daniel wondered if Janet played, or if it was just some decorative piece of furniture. Farther down the corridor he knew the house opened up into the den, dining room, and kitchen area. In his mind’s eye, Daniel could picture, more or less, the layout of each room, but realized he really didn’t know any details. It surprised him that even though he’d known Janet for nearly six years, and been in her home a few times before, he’d never really studied it. ‘And if that’s true of Janet’s environment,’ Daniel reflected, ‘then how much more does it apply to other aspects of her life – or even the woman herself?’

Further musings were cut short as Daniel heard a door open, and the sound of familiar female voices.

“Mrs. Jenkins invited me to join her for dinner tonight,” Cassandra was saying. ‘I think I’ll take her up on it.”

Daniel thought he recognized the name, and his brain searched for the relevant connection. ‘Oh yeah,’ he remembered. ‘One of the neighbors down the street.’

“Isn’t her husband out of town on business this weekend?” That was Janet’s voice.

“Yes. And you know what that means – she’ll probably also invite me to stay the night.”

“Well, I know she hates to be alone when John is away. If you want to stay, it’ll be fine. Just leave me a message if that’s what you decide.”

“All right, Mom,” Cassandra replied. “You guys have fun. I’m going back to my email.”

“Night Sweetie,” Janet called out lovingly. Then she stepped around the corner.

Daniel was instantly frozen in place. He’d seen Janet in civilian clothes before, of course, but it was a startling realization that he’d never had opportunity to see her dressed like this.

The dress was simple, with short sleeves, tailored pleats at the waist, and a hem that ended just shy of the top of her knee. It was a deep burgundy color that perfectly highlighted her skin tone. Fashionable black pumps added a touch of elegance to her appearance. Diamond earrings and a delicate gold chain at her neck completed the look.

Janet had been focusing her attention on closing the small handbag she carried as she’d stepped into the hall. When she finally glanced up, their eyes locked and she halted in mid-step.

“Hi,” she eventually managed, smiling shyly as she covered the last few steps between them.

“Hi,” he answered, surprised that he could breathe, much less speak. “You look great.”

Janet bit at her lip, and her eyes lowered slightly in flattered embarrassment. “Thanks. So do you.”

Several seconds of uneasy silence lingered as they stood there.

“Um--” Daniel found his voice first. “I think it’s supposed to get cool later tonight. You might want to take a sweater, or jacket.”

“Right,” Janet nodded, as she reached for the closet door. She pulled out a lightweight black leather jacket and draped it across her arm. “Well, I believe I’m ready.”

They made polite conversation in the car, and although Daniel still sensed a distinct anxious energy between them, he was beginning to feel more comfortable by the time they reached the restaurant. While he typically did it by habit, he was careful to open doors for her, and to pull out her chair when they sat at the table. Orders were made, dinner arrived, and by the time they started on the second course, Daniel had to admit that he was enjoying himself immensely.

They talked, first of work and related topics, eventually following the conversation to wherever the next comment led. Daniel listened with rapt attention to all Janet said, eager to learn whatever she chose to share. It was as if everything about her enchanted him, and he found himself wanting to know even the most trivial details of her life. Likewise, he was pleased that she showed an equal interest in what he had to say. He enthusiastically answered all her questions about how he’d studied to become an archaeologist, what it was like spending his childhood at digs in remote areas of Egypt, and why languages fascinated him so much. He was even a little amazed to find he could speak to her, at least briefly, of how his parents died, and what it had been like growing up in foster homes.

Dinner was delicious, but Daniel decided it wouldn’t have mattered had it been awful. Janet’s company was all he needed to ensure the prefect evening. Her compelling gaze never left his own when he talked to her. He’d often suspected that Janet played down her emotions at work, in order to perform well as a doctor, and the depth of emotion she was choosing to reveal through bright, chocolate eyes, as she sat across the table from him tonight, caught him a little off guard. Her voice drew him in, whether she was rattling off medical jargon or sharing some anecdote about her daughter. Her smile sent a warm jolt through him every time she displayed it, and her light laughter caused his insides to do somersaults on more than one occasion. A couple of times Daniel realized he’d been openly staring at her.

They ended up running a little behind after dinner, but managed to slip into their theater seats just as the house lights were dimming.

“I think we made it,” Janet whispered, her voice a little breathless after their hasty progress up a flight of stairs at the theater entrance.

“Do you want a program?” Daniel asked quietly, squinting at the papers the usher had thrust into his hand as they’d walked past.

“I’ll wait until intermission. Doubt I could see to read it now anyway.” Janet began squirming slightly in the seat beside him. “Can you help me out of my coat?”

Laying the programs in his lap, Daniel reached around her shoulder and held on to the jacket as she quickly slid out of it. He just managed to pull his arm back before she settled against the seat.

“Thanks,” she muttered softly, then turned her full attention to the stage.

The production was good – far better than Daniel had anticipated for a university theater group. During intermission, he and Janet shared comments about the show, and how much they were both enjoying it. The lights lowered, the second half began, and Daniel allowed himself to become immersed in the drama before him.

After a while, a dull sensation creeping up the back of his thigh clued him that he’d been sitting in the same position for too long. Attempting not to disturb those around him, Daniel quietly shifted his weight. In doing so, he absently placed his arm on the armrest beside him – and right on top of Janet’s arm that he hadn’t noticed was already there.

His first instinct would have been to pull away, and mumble a quick word of apology, but the situation took him so by surprise that it was several seconds before he realized he hadn’t actually moved his arm. The awkwardness of the moment garnered his full attention at that point as he contemplated what to do. The fact that Janet hadn’t moved her arm either was an encouraging sign – until he figured that she probably couldn’t move her arm, because his was surely a dead weight on top of it. He decided there was nothing for it but to simply pull away.

The instant Daniel began to move, Janet responded. Unexpectedly, however, she slid her arm from beneath his and toward him – the result being they now shared the same armrest, their arms remaining comfortably side by side, her hand a fraction of an inch from his own.

Daniel swallowed, now uncertain what to do. Was Janet giving him an opportunity to make the first move, or had she only moved her arm in an effort to be more comfortable and was truly unaware of the implication of the situation? He risked a glance at her from the corner of his eye. As far as he could tell, Janet was engrossed in the play. That observation didn’t help him much however. He was very conscious of the warmth radiating from her skin, and the enticement to just grasp her hand was becoming overpowering.

Daniel returned his gaze towards the show and, forcing himself to breathe evenly, slowly reached over and lightly wrapped his fingers around her hand. To his relief, Janet did not withdraw from his touch.

In an effort to slow his racing heart, Daniel tried again to concentrate on the story being presented on stage. But it was no good. Even after reminding himself that he was an accomplished scientist, respected by his teammates, capable of going on dangerous missions and even facing Goa’uld, Daniel had to admit that when it came to this petite, intelligent woman sitting beside him he was nothing less than a big softie who was completely ecstatic simply to hold her hand.

Part of his mind was intent upon following the play, but another part was now totally consumed with studying this new experience. He marveled at how tiny her hand was in his. He knew personally that there was immense strength in her hands, but at the moment all that registered was warmth and tenderness. He began to gently rub his thumb over her skin, and gave her hand a slight squeeze, hoping to somehow convey to her what he was feeling. It must have communicated something, because in the next instant Janet slowly opened her hand, and interlaced her fingers with his.

Daniel continued to hold her hand throughout the show’s performance, releasing it only so they could offer the well-deserved applause at the end. Even afterwards he found himself seeking ways to make small gestures of physical contact – a brush on the shoulder as he assisted with her coat, resting a hand at the small of her back as he guided her through the mass of people exiting the theater, holding her arm to help her into the car. For her part, Janet appeared not to mind. If anything, she seemed to offer a reassuring smile his direction every time Daniel touched her.

The ride home was mostly quiet. They shared the occasional comment, but it seemed to Daniel they had become comfortable enough with one another that the moments of silence no longer felt awkward. They were nearly to Janet’s house, and he was contemplating how to ask if she’d like to go out again sometime, when a sudden flash of lights illuminated the road ahead of them.

Daniel slammed on the brakes, tires screeching as the car came to a halt. In the few seconds it took to ask Janet if she was okay, and to glance out the front window, Daniel realized they’d narrowly missed plowing headlong into a wreck of cars just up the road.

“Oh no,” Janet murmured, apparently coming to the same conclusion. Unlocking her seatbelt, she opened the door and jumped out.

Daniel immediately identified her demeanor as that of full-doctor-mode. She was instantly assessing the situation, then administering both instructions and first aid. He followed on her heels, hovering just close enough to be of assistance, but careful not to get in the way.

It had involved only two vehicles, but the wreck was terrible. They’d met head-on, and everyone involved was going to require medical attention at a hospital. As Janet moved from one accident victim to the next, Daniel was relieved to see that although the injuries appeared serious, Janet was fairly confident everyone would pull through. That was until she found the passenger in the rear seat of the second car.

The girl couldn’t have been more than seventeen or eighteen. Daniel was unable to tell if she’d been wearing her seatbelt, as her body was slumped over, halfway into the floor in a noticeably unnatural position. Janet cautiously moved the girl in an effort to ascertain her condition, and Daniel heard Janet’s sharp intake of air as the girl’s head fell back. Blood covered the front of her body. Her eyes were wide open, frozen in utter shock and fear, yet seemingly lifeless.

Daniel watched as Janet quickly searched for the source of the girl’s bleeding. When Janet’s eyes momentarily closed and a slight huff escaped her compressed lips, Daniel knew it wasn’t a good sign.

“Daniel, I’m going to need your help,” Janet said, her voice quivering slightly as she carefully repositioned the girl.

“Just tell me what to do,” he replied, fighting a sudden feeling of nausea.

“You know CPR?”

“I can do the breathing part,” Daniel replied.

As Janet did compressions and counted off, Daniel followed through with the breathing technique. They were still at it when the sound of sirens announced the ambulances had arrived.

A pair of paramedics appeared outside the car, and Janet explained in precise detail her assessment of the girl’s condition. She continued the compressions, handing off only when they had managed to get the girl onto a stretcher and the paramedics could take over.

Everything was moving quickly and it wasn’t long before Daniel realized the worst was now over. He stepped up behind Janet, placing his hands on her shoulders in a gesture of reassurance, and noticed she was shaking.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

Janet stared straight ahead, as if she hadn’t heard.

“Janet?” he asked a little louder, turning her to face him.

“I’ll need to go with them, in the ambulance,” she said abruptly, pulling away from him. “I’ll need to fill them in on what I know about the situation. And they might be able to use my help at the hospital too.”

“All right,” Daniel conceded, guiding her towards the nearest ambulance. “I’ll follow in the car and meet you there.”

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~* ~ * ~* ~ * ~ *

In the end, they only stayed at the hospital a little more than an hour. Janet’s quick action at the accident scene, and her information relayed as the ambulances raced to the emergency room, had done nothing less than save people’s lives that night. Fortunately the ER was well staffed, and Janet’s further assistance was not needed. However, the police had also followed to the hospital, and she was required to make a full report. Afterwards, Janet practically collapsed in one of the waiting room chairs, saying she didn’t want to leave until she received word on everyone’s condition. As she sat staring blankly ahead, not uttering a word, Daniel held her hand and waited quietly with her.

Eventually a doctor came out and gave Janet a report. Daniel listened attentively, but couldn’t make much of the conversation as they immediately fell into technical vocabulary. But he carefully watched Janet, and as her expression grew more and more relieved, he felt some of his own tension ease.

“All the accident victims are going to be okay,” Janet told him after the ER doctor departed. “Even the girl – once inside the ambulance, they were able to revive her with the paddles. Otherwise I don’t think she would have made it. The doctor said she’s conscious and resting well. There’s a long road of recovery ahead, but her prognosis looks good.”

Daniel nodded and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. The report was good news, but he had to admit he was more gratified simply to have Janet talking again. “Do you want to stay a while longer?” he asked.

Janet shook her head. “No. We can go.”

Janet fell silent again as Daniel drove her home, and he felt some of his earlier anxiety return. He could tell she was exhausted, which was certainly understandable. But the longer she remained quiet, the more Daniel felt that something was wrong. It wasn’t just weariness from what had happened – Janet appeared to be genuinely shaken by the experience. Sitting in the seat beside him, unspeaking and withdrawn, she seemed terribly small and frail.

Except for the front porch light, the house was completely dark when they drove up. Daniel helped her out of the car, and asked for her keys so that he could unlock the front door.

As they entered the house, Janet flipped on the hall light. “I’m going to go change, get cleaned up,” she said wearily as Daniel helped her out of her coat. “You should too.”

He glanced down at his own blood-splattered shirt. He’d been so preoccupied about her that he’d forgotten about his own appearance. “I guess you’re right,” he conceded.

“You can put your shirt in the kitchen sink to soak,” Janet instructed as she headed down the hall. “I’ll wash it later.”

Daniel’s eyes followed her. He couldn’t shake the sense of her being extremely vulnerable right now, and he desperately wanted to do something to help. “Can I get you anything? Make some coffee, perhaps?”

“No thanks,” she replied. She was almost to the doorway when she called back, “Wait – hot tea would be good.”

“Consider it done,” he said, smiling. But she was already gone.

Daniel began to unbutton his shirt as he made his way to the kitchen. Surprisingly he found his undershirt had remained unspoiled. Running cold water, he tried to rinse as much of the blood as possible. Then stopping the drain, he ran cold water and submerged his dress shirt in the sink. His initial task complete, Daniel set to the order of making tea.

The kitchen wasn’t totally unfamiliar to him, but he hadn’t exactly been paying attention to where things were on the occasions he’d been here. Luckily, he spotted a kettle on the stove, and he did remember she always kept bottled water in the fridge. A quick investigation of the cabinets – why was he not surprised to find everything inside neatly organized? – revealed both mugs and tea. It also revealed that Janet was apparently a tea connoisseur. ‘One more thing to add to that list of fascinating facts about her that I didn’t know,’ he thought. There were plenty of loose-leaf teas, in a variety of blends and exotic flavors. He didn’t trust himself to attempt one of those. A deeper search uncovered a few boxes of bagged teas. That he could handle. Surveying the selection, he opted for a mint blend that claimed to have a soothing effect. ‘This should do the trick,’ he thought.

By the time Daniel went to the den, two mugs in hand, he saw Janet had already returned. She had changed into jeans and a well-worn sweater that looked just a little too big for her. ‘Comfort clothes?’ his mind questioned. She was seated on the sofa, one leg tucked underneath her, the other extended normally. He couldn’t help but notice the one, bare foot dangled just a bit above the floor. She was clearly lost in her thoughts, her gaze focused at nothing in particular. But she brought her attention back to the present, and smiled slightly, as he handed her one of the mugs.

“Thanks,” Janet said softly. She took a tentative sip, and her smile broadened. “Mint? A good choice.”

The small bit of praise reassured him somewhat. “You’re welcome,” he said, sitting down beside her.

‘But not too close,’ a part of his mind warned. He wanted to help her, to offer comfort, but not overwhelm her. Admittedly, he felt a bit out of his league dealing with this new side of Janet, this more fragile persona. He’d never really considered her as anything but strong and stable. ‘Just going to have to play this by ear,’ he thought.

Her attention had drifted away again as she slowly drank her tea, and Daniel took the opportunity to observe her. He wasn’t certain what he was looking for, exactly – perhaps some clue of what to say or how to act.

Her hair was a bit mussed, the perfect style having fallen out during the course of her activity at the accident. A few wisps around her face were damp. ‘She must have hastily showered,’ he reasoned. And now that he thought about it, Daniel could detect the hint of some fragrant soap. It was a scent of clean and – ‘Is that rosemary?’ his mind went off on the tangent. Yes, he was almost certain it was. She had removed her necklace, but the diamond studs still adorned her ears, striking an odd contrast with her casual clothes. Daniel wasn’t sure if it was this new feeling of wanting to comfort and protect her playing tricks with his mind, but he would have sworn that she looked even more beautiful now than ever.

‘That observation isn’t likely to prove very helpful,’ his mind chastised. He took a few sips of his own tea, in an effort to redirect his thoughts. He wasn’t much of a tea drinker, but this was actually quite good. And Janet certainly seemed to be enjoying hers.

That’s when he noticed it. Her fingers were clasped around the mug much more tightly than was necessary, her knuckles nearly white with the strain. Still, it wasn’t enough to keep her hands from shaking.

“Janet?”

There was no response, so he called her name a little louder. She turned to him then, with the slightest intimation of a smile. It was obviously forced.

“Yes?” She couldn’t quite hide the strain in her voice either.

“Are you feeling all right?” he asked.

“Yes, of course,” she replied, not meeting his eyes.

Janet was pulling her other leg underneath her now, drawing them both a little closer to herself. Daniel got the distinct impression she was attempting to retreat into something akin to the fetal position. It wasn’t a good sign.

“Are you sure?” he pressed, allowing the concern he felt to come through in his tone.

‘Okay, that might have been a bad idea,’ he thought as he watched her retreat even further into her corner of the sofa. And she was being even more determined not to meet his gaze.

“Just feeling drained, I suppose,” Janet confessed.

He watched her take another sip of tea. Yeah, that mug was definitely shaking.

She went on, “It happens sometimes. You come up on an accident like that, so unexpected, go into immediate crisis mode, complete with adrenaline pumping. It’s kind of reflexive, actually – helps me do what has to be done. Unfortunately, afterwards you have to come off that adrenaline high. It can really wipe you out.”

Daniel considered that. It made sense. And yet, he’d seen her handle medical emergencies before. He couldn’t recall ever seeing one affect her like this. Then again, he’d not always been privy to witnessing her after it was all over, when the work was done and she had a chance to sit and think about what had happened. Maybe this was a normal response for her. Plus, driving up on an accident in the middle of the street was a bit different that dealing with a crisis that would evolve for whatever reason at the SGC. So why was that sense that this particular incident had somehow unnerved her still nagging at him?

Janet was looking away again, staring at some non-existent spot on the wall. And was she? -- yes, she was biting her lower lip. Daniel couldn’t be sure what that was about, but it sent off a warning bell. ‘Enough trying to figure this out, it’s time to act,’ he resolved. Janet was his friend, and he cared about her. Just how much he cared about her – well, that was a matter he hadn’t really gotten a hold of yet, but it didn’t matter. He did care about her. Setting his mug on an end table, Daniel slid just a little closer to her and took a deep breath.

“Janet, I’m sorry I keep pressing this, but I can’t shake the feeling that something is bothering you, or has upset you. And I’d really like it if you could talk to me about it, because I want to help.”

Her stare remained glued to that non-existent spot, but Daniel was certain she’d heard him because she stopped biting her lip and set her jaw so tightly he could see the tension in her neck. But, it appeared, that was the only response she was going to give.

Daniel fought the sigh he could feel forming. ‘No, I am not going to get frustrated. I’m not.’ Since entering the house, he’d refrained from making any physical contact – something about it struck him as being too much for her right now. And he didn’t want to pressure her. But he felt he was drawing at straws now. Maybe, just maybe, a little touch wouldn’t hurt.

He leaned forward, lowered his head in an effort to catch her eye, and very gently laid a hand on her knee.

The tactic worked, although not necessarily as he’d anticipated.

Janet’s gaze did automatically lock with his, and the vulnerability Daniel saw reflected there caused the breath to catch in his throat. Her lip began to quiver, and suddenly an involuntary sob broke through, followed quickly by tears. Almost before he was aware it was happening, Janet was struggling to get up. ‘And to get away?’ he wondered. ‘To escape?’

He put a hand on her arm, trying not to be too forceful in his effort to restrain her. “It’s okay,” he said quickly.

As she half sat, half collapsed onto the sofa again, he carefully took the mug from her. Her hands were still shaking, and he would have taken them in his own if she hadn’t immediately pulled them away, enveloping her midsection in an iron-grip self hug.

“I’m sorry,” she half-gasped between sobs. “I didn’t mean to-- I’m sorry.”

Daniel had an impulse to just grab her – to take her in his arms and hold her in some vain attempt to simply make the pain go away. But the way she had retreated from him, he guessed that action wouldn’t be terribly well received at the moment.

“It’s okay,” he said again. Shifting slightly, to give her a bit more physical space – and hopefully make her feel a bit more at ease – Daniel reached into his pants pocket, and retrieved a handkerchief. He held it out to her.

Janet stared, almost as if not seeing it, before tentatively reaching to take it from his grasp. She wiped her face, occasionally blowing her nose, as her outburst slowly subsided. When she’d reached some level of calm again, she folded the handkerchief and moved to hand it back. But then she seemed to think better of it, and let her hands fall into her lap, fingers absently playing with the corners of the white fabric she held.

“I’m sorry,” she said again, staring at her hands.

“It’s okay,” Daniel repeated. “You don’t have to apologize.”

She nodded, but said nothing more.

Daniel took a steadying breath, attempting to harness his own swirling emotions. When he spoke again, he allowed all the affection and compassion he felt to fully color his tone.

“You want to talk about it?”

Janet nodded again, but it was several moments before she managed to raise her head. When their eyes met, Daniel was relieved to see that she really did appear to have regained her sense of calm, and there was a flicker of the Janet he recognized in her expression. But there was something else, and it just as quickly caused his stomach to do a vertical drop. Janet was looking at him with undeniable and utter trust.

“Dealing with a medical situation has never affected me quite like this before,” Janet began. Her voice was low, and still a little shaky. “I mean, yes, there have been times when I come up on an emergency totally unexpected, and the adrenaline kicks in, and afterwards I have to sort of deal with the after effects. But this… this was different.”

Daniel nodded, and leaned forward slightly. He wanted her to know she had his undivided attention. “Do you have any idea why?”

“More than an idea, I know why,” she admitted. She swallowed, squeezed her eyes against tears that threatened to begin again. “You remember the girl from the car?”

“Yes.” Daniel had a feeling it would be some time before the image of that left his mind, if it ever did.

“I don’t know why,” Janet continued, “but when I saw her, all I could think was, what if that had been Cassandra?”

The pieces locked into place, and Daniel instantly understood. It was no wonder she was so upset. Just thinking about the possibility was enough to make him sick. How much more would it have affected Janet, who had become every bit a mother to Cassandra.

Janet was talking again. “This girl was lucky. Someone came along – I came along. But what it if had been another time, another place – what if it had been Cassie? What if there was no one who came along for her?”

She was crying again, but the tears fell quietly now. Daniel moved to raise his hand to her face, a little hesitant, anxious of her reaction. His courage grew when she didn’t pull away.

“That’s one of the great ironies of life,” he admitted, tenderly wiping the dampness from one cheek, then the other. “When we care about someone, we also have to learn to live with the struggle that we might not always be able to protect them.” His eyes never faltered from hers. He lovingly traced the curve of her face, then tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear. “And the more we care about that someone,” he went on, fingertips slowly making a track down the side of her neck, before his hand finally rested on her shoulder, “the more difficult that struggle becomes.”

‘Well, perhaps my subconscious has been making some headway in this ongoing debate about my relationship with Janet,’ he mused silently as he slowly began to knead her shoulder. But could he say it? ‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained – right Jackson?’

“But I think the struggle is still worth it,” he continued aloud, “because of what you benefit from being able to care about that person.”

“Even if--” Janet’s voice was barely audible. “Even if in the end, you lose that struggle?”

Daniel knew instantly that she was referring to Sha’re. And yes, he had been speaking in double meanings – trying to reassure Janet about her love for Cassandra while also speaking from his own past experience. But had she understood that he’d also been speaking about a hopeful future experience, one that he now knew he very much wanted to include her?

“Yes,” he sighed. “Even if you lose.”

Janet nodded, and momentarily looked away. When she met his eyes again, it was as if a transformation had occurred. She was visibly calm and collected now. She was the familiar Janet once more. The connection they’d shared – ‘or whatever it was,’ his mind taunted – was broken, and any insight Daniel thought he’d had, regarding some turning point in their relationship, evaporated.

She still wasn’t pulling away, but Daniel was distinctly aware of his hand on her shoulder. Inexplicably, he now felt as if he was trespassing somewhere he shouldn’t, and he was just about to withdraw when he noticed something.

“Um-- Janet, are you always this tense?”

Janet looked at him as if he’d just grown something out of the top of his head. “Excuse me?”

“Your shoulder,” he replied, giving it a little squeeze. “You’re wound up like a spring.”

She didn’t answer, but began contorting and stretching in what he could only guess was some effort to ascertain the situation. One particular movement resulted in a sharp intake of breath, and she froze.

“Oh great,” she murmured through gritted teeth.

“What?”

“Well, between the tension and stress of helping at the accident, and probably something I did while at the accident, I think I may have pulled a muscle.” She nodded, as if realizing something. “Guess that also explains the pain I’ve been feeling in my neck.”

“Oh,” he replied, for lack of anything better.

“Actually, you can probably help me out,” she said.

Without further explanation, Janet turned her back to him and slid back until she was pressed against his leg. Focused as he had been on maintaining physical distance earlier, Daniel was unexpectedly disconcerted by their physical proximity now.

“Um-- what exactly is it you want me to do?”

‘Was that the whisper of a chuckle I just heard?’ His mind tried frantically to latch onto something that would make sense in a situation that was mysteriously becoming more and more confusing.

“I don’t need a professional physical therapist, Dr. Jackson,” Janet replied. “What you were doing a moment ago will work well enough, if you don’t mind.”

Thankfully his brain deciphered what she meant. ‘But,’ his brain added, ‘this is definitely getting bizarre.’ He shifted slightly, into something like a half Indian sitting position, with one foot resting on the floor. Then, a little warily, he reached out and slowly began rubbing her shoulders. While one part of his concentration was fixed on working the taut muscles, another part went to work on their recent exchange.

Point one – Janet had been aware that he’d been rubbing her shoulder earlier, and so had not exactly been oblivious to his attentions. Point two – unless he’d been wrong in learning to read certain things about her over these past few years, there was a decidedly lighter sense in her mood now. Considering that just moments before she’d been weeping, this was something of an about face. Point three – as it now it dawned on him, she’d called him ‘Dr. Jackson’, something she usually did only when being extremely serious, or teasingly playful. ‘Okay,’ he rationalized, ‘something’s not making sense here.’

“Linguist, archeologist, anthropologist – I suppose if any of those ever fail to work out you could find work as a massage therapist,” Janet said.

Her tone was more than a little roguish and Daniel decided he was at a distinct disadvantage not being able to see her face. He clearly needed some nonverbal clues as to what was going on, because the verbal ones were confusing the hell out of him.

“Janet,” he began, not really sure what it was he wanted to say.

“Yes?” she replied.

“Are you sure you’re feeling all right?”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure.” There was that roguish character in her voice again.

Daniel continued to massage her shoulders in silence a few seconds before finally admitting, “then I think I’m confused.”

“About what?” Janet asked, more serious now.

Daniel wondered what he’d gotten himself into. ‘Honesty,’ he thought resolutely. ‘Go with honesty, it’s always been your strong suit.’

“Well, just a few minutes ago you were extremely distraught over imagining Cassandra being in an accident like the one we saw tonight. And now-- well, now you’re not.”

“Right. What part has you confused?” There was no accusation in her voice, just a genuine interest to understand.

“Um-- well, actually, I think it’s the part about it all happening within the space of just a few minutes,” he confessed.

“I see.”

‘I’m glad one of us does,’ Daniel thought.

“I guess I’m the kind of person who, when upset about something, responds well to some sort of release,” she explained. “In this case, my near hysterical outburst.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Daniel assured.

“Whatever,” Janet responded, but didn’t argue further on the matter. “At any rate, once I get it out of my system, I’m much better. And just being able to talk about it – to actually speak what it is that has upset me – helps too. Afterwards – well, that just seems to be all it takes. I’m more myself once the emotion is spent. It doesn’t mean I stop thinking about it, or trying to work my way through it. It just means that it doesn’t have a hold on me any longer.”

“I think I get what you’re saying,” Daniel replied. “It’s like your own personal defense mechanism – your way of dealing with a particularly disturbing problem or situation.”

“More or less,” she confirmed. “Although normally I try not to let it escalate to that level. A response like I had tonight – I really don’t like it, but it does happen. Rarely, but it happens. I suppose it’s one of the things about me that you’ll just have to get used to.”

‘Okay, that’s interesting,’ Daniel thought. ‘Am I supposed to read something into that comment?’

“And I agree with what you were saying,” she went on, “about how caring for someone has to be mixed with the fact that you won’t always be able to protect them. But you still have to keep trying your best to protect them, even as you accept you won’t always be able to. And yes, that struggle is worth the risk.”

“So, you’re really not upset anymore?” he asked. He wanted to be sure he understood.

Janet paused a moment before answering. “No, not upset. Will a part of me always be worried about Cassandra? Yes. Will a part of me always feel a twinge of panic over the idea of losing her? Yes. But, no, I’m not shaken up any longer over what happened tonight. I’m okay.”

Daniel sighed in relief. “I’m glad. I don’t like seeing my doctor so upset.” The words were out of his mouth before he knew it. Fleetingly, he wondered how the comment must have sounded to her. Sure, she was his doctor, but that’s not exactly the context his mind had been running with when he’d let the phrase slip. And now he was practically holding his breath, waiting for what she would say next.

“Well,” she began softly. “If I did have to get upset tonight, I’m glad you were the one here with me.”

‘This just gets more interesting all the time,’ he thought. Once again he felt cheated in not being able to see her face. He really wanted to decipher whatever expression was currently dancing across it. ‘Better focus on what I’m doing here before I let my imagination get the better of me.’

Ascertaining his progress, Daniel noted the pressure in her shoulders and upper back was mostly gone. If Janet really had pulled a muscle, only time would completely alleviate the problem, but at least now it wouldn’t be compounded by tension in those muscles. Now, hadn’t she said something about a pain in her neck? Adjusting his focus, he began to concentrate on that area. Janet immediately responded to his touch by lowering her head slightly, offering more exposure to the back of her neck.

He had no idea how that tiny movement resulted in what happened next, but Daniel was suddenly bombarded by that scent he’d detected earlier. ‘Most definitely rosemary,’ his mind confirmed. But now it was mixed with something else. His thoughts threatened to run wild with the possibilities. ‘Was it her soap? Shampoo? Perhaps her perfume? Or, just maybe, it was her scent – something distinctly Janet Frasier and nothing else. The latter option enticed him far more than he wanted to admit. Somewhere in the midst of these mental ramblings, his senses captured a new development. Again unbeknownst to him, at some point in their previous conversation Janet had apparently rested her arm on top of his leg. This might have gone completely unnoticed but for the fact that she had begun doodling with her fingertips on his knee. ‘Okay, this has progressed way past interesting,’ the stunned voice inside his head acknowledged.

The knots in her neck muscles were now quite clearly eased, but Daniel had to admit that he didn’t necessarily have the desire to stop what he was doing. Which placed him in something of a predicament, because Janet had to have come to this conclusion as well, and – Daniel had to admit – he wasn’t entirely sure where this was going to go next.

‘Ah, looks like she’s going to make that decision for me,’ Daniel thought, as Janet began to raise her head again. ‘Maybe I’ll just go back to rubbing her shoulder-- okay, change of plans – is she? – yes, she’s definitely leaning backwards.’

Daniel felt his pulse quicken as she eased closer, leaning back until she came to rest against him. There could be no doubt that Janet had made an irreversible choice, and he had only a few seconds to decide how he would respond. ‘Honesty, Jackson – still your strong suit.’

Positioned as he was, in the corner of the sofa, it was a simple maneuver to let his arm drape around her. It was then he became aware that Janet’s arm was positioned across her stomach, and so he simply followed the same path, allowing his hand to rest gently over hers. ‘Which,’ he thought, rather pleased with himself, ‘is actually convenient, because as long as she’s intent on continuing that piece of artwork on my knee with her other hand, then I’m more than happy to return the favor on this hand.’ His choice provided an added advantage he’d not anticipated when Janet decided his shoulder now made the perfect-fit pillow for her head, and she silently snuggled in even closer. The feeling was decidedly intoxicating.

Daniel wasn’t clear how long they sat like that. Nor could he recall the last time he’d been so content simply to experience the closeness of another physical presence. Several times he’d caught himself staring at her. As she lay against his shoulder, he could just make out the trace of her smile. Her eyes were closed, and he marveled that she looked so peaceful. He could feel the steady rise and fall of her breathing, underneath their interlocked arms. And the weight of her body against his was a comfortable, almost familiar warmth – he hadn’t realized until now just how much he’d missed that sensation.

He detected the slightest change in her breathing as Janet stirred. Her eyes fluttered open and she turned her face towards him. Meeting his gaze, her smile broadened.

“This is… nice,” she said softly.

“Yes.” He reflected the smile back to her. “It is.”

Janet’s eyes closed again, her smile tugging playfully at the corner of her mouth. She nuzzled her face against him and Daniel felt an involuntary shiver snake down his back.

“Daniel?” she whispered after a few heartbeats of silence.

“Yes?”

“As much as I am enjoying this,” she began, “I’m afraid there’s a confession I have to make.”

“What’s that?”

“I must be way more exhausted than I thought, because I think a second ago I just fell asleep on you.”

Her eyes flicked open again and Daniel thought he saw a touch of chagrin in them.

“Which,” she went on, “considering how long it’s been since I’ve actually been in a situation like this, is not only embarrassing for me but, I think, maybe a little insulting to you.”

He nodded in amused understanding.

“No offense taken. It has gotten late. I should probably go.”

Janet sighed, looking as if she might reconsider that option, despite her recent comment. Then she nodded, and slowly began to get up. Silently, they headed to the door.

Janet reached for the closet door and opened it. “I have an old military jacket,” she said, rummaging around inside. “I wear it when I’m working in the yard. It’ll probably be a little snug, but at least it will keep you warm.”

Daniel had forgotten that he’d left his sports coat in the car. His undershirt would provide little cover in the cool night air, and it touched him that Janet had been thinking one step ahead in this regard. Smiling, he took the offered jacket from her and slipped it on. It was a bit small for him, but as he pulled it tight he caught the distinct hint of Janet’s scent that lingered on the fabric.

“So,” Daniel said, his hand resting on the front door handle.

“I had a wonderful time,” Janet said, meeting his gaze. A smile tugged at her lips again. “Well, not counting the whole accident thing.”

He mimicked her smile. “Right.”

Daniel held her gaze, trying to make a mental record of everything he saw reflected there. ‘How could so much emotion be displayed in one pair of human eyes?’ he wondered. And, considering his feelings at the moment, he wondered what was being revealed in his own expression.

There was no denying that he very much wanted to kiss her. Even though they had pushed the envelope of their relationship tonight, he wasn’t sure if that particular action would be considered crossing the line or not. ‘Maybe I should just ask her,’ he considered.

“Janet… would I be overstepping my bounds if I kissed you goodnight?”

Her eyes widened, just noticeably. “Oh. I don’t think a man has ever asked if he could kiss me. It would appear chivalry isn’t dead after all.”

The dazzling smile she flashed threatened to make his knees go weak. Several seconds of silence passed before Daniel realized she hadn’t actually answered the question.

“So…?”

Daniel would have sworn her cheeks flushed as realization dawned for her as well.

“Oh,” Janet fumbled. “I suppose such a gentlemanly question deserves an answer. So… no.”

The negative response, mixed with every manner of positive non-verbal cue that Janet was sending his way, threw Daniel for a loop. Confusion must have been evident on his face, because Janet suddenly looked confused as well. Then comprehension dawned, and she definitely blushed this time.

“Oh, no, no, no – I guess that didn’t come out quite right,” she stammered. “What I meant was, no, you wouldn’t be overstepping your bounds.”

“Ah,” Daniel replied, suddenly fighting embarrassment himself. ‘For two grown adults, we’re certainly behaving more like a couple of awkward teens.’

That analogy quickly faded, however, when Daniel noticed she was staring at him very expectantly. ‘No,’ his mind encouraged, ‘that’s definitely the expression of one very beautiful woman.’

Reaching up, he trailed a light touch along the curve of her face. He titled her chin, and slowly leaned towards her. The discrepancy of their heights was suddenly brought home to him, but Daniel realized that – for some reason his mind would probably never be able to fathom – there was something alluring about having to actually reach down to kiss her. His eyes closed as he touched his lips to hers. The kiss was light, almost inquisitive. Her lips were exquisitely soft and warm, and Daniel knew in that instant that this experience was one he would want to repeat, and repeat often, in the future. He was just considering if he should pull her closer and deepen the kiss when he felt Janet begin to break their contact.

At first, Janet did not completely pull away. Daniel could feel her breath against his face and her eyes were sparkling with affection and delight. He waited, allowing her to make the next move.

“I have to work a double shift tomorrow,” she reminded him, slowly stepping away. “But maybe we could meet for lunch or something on Sunday?”

Daniel was encouraged that she wanted to see him again so soon, but he shook his head in the negative. “Sorry, but I can’t. One of the junior linguists I’ve been working with has a project he’s helping SG-3 with, and I promised I’d come in on Sunday and work with him for a while. I’m not really sure how long I’ll be tied up with that.”

“I understand,” she replied, still smiling. “Then I guess I’ll see you on Monday.”

He nodded. “On Monday.” Tracing her face with a fingertip once more, he whispered, “Goodnight, Janet.”

“Goodnight.”

Then, with one last look at her smiling face, Daniel opened the door and slipped out into the night air.

~ END ~

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