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Suggested
Rating: for teen and
older readers
Category: Daniel/Janet
Setting: missing scenes from the episode Crystal Skull
Synopsis: Daniel and Janet are living in the
fallout of their recent conversation
Author’s
Comments: Part 19 in The Journey series. The muse could not decide which POV
this one should be in, so I’m going against my norm and doing both. Many, many thanks to Sonia for the
edits and suggestions.
DISCLAIMER: All
publicly recognizable characters and places (the Stargate
SG-1 stuff) are the property of MGM, World Gekko
Corp and Double Secret Productions.
This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment only and no
infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and
places, and this story, are creations of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living
or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the
author.
OF VAGUE YET PERSISTENT DENIAL
- by
Michelle Lunsford (April 2007)
Missing in action.
Janet wished
she’d never heard that phrase.
Three simple words, and yet they were so foreboding. In every instance she’d known,
Janet could recall that the parties involved preferred news of certain death
to this condemnation.
And although he’s civilian,
it’s exactly what’s going to be stamped at the end of
Daniel’s file unless someone figures something out…
Shoving
that thought aside, she renewed her focus on the activity in the lab. Someone would figure something out.
Sam was investigating the skull right now, and Janet had lost count of
the times her friend had pulled a miracle out of thin air. She’d simply have to trust that
another miracle was forthcoming.
Doctor
Rothman had remained in the lab too, Janet noted, but at least he’d
stopped offering useless opinions and was merely aiding Sam in her
procedures. She didn’t
understand much of what Sam was doing, but wanted to stay near in case her
assistance was needed.
That, and I don’t fancy
returning to an empty infirmary just yet, she silently mused. No longer required to give primary
attention to Carter and O’Neill, she’d found her thoughts
drifting more towards Daniel’s mysterious disappearance. She laced her arms across her
midsection in a self-hug. I just wish Daniel’s disappearance
was the only thing on my mind.
Daniel’s
recent confession about his feelings had surprised her. Still, she’d responded to him
honestly and knew her insistence that they remain friends had been the right
thing to do. But she regretted
having hurt him in the process.
He’d made a valiant effort to disguise it, but she’d seen
the disappointment in his eyes, heard the defeat in his voice. It had almost been enough to make her
second-guess herself. Thankfully,
she’d held firm.
Then why do I feel so guilty about
it?
With a sigh
Janet pushed away from the counter where she’d been leaning and stepped
forward, catching her friend’s attention. “Sam, I think I’m going to
head back to the infirmary.”
Striving to balance her own worries with her medical responsibilities,
she placed a hand on Sam’s arm and added, “I know you’re
concerned about Daniel, but don’t push yourself too hard. Your body’s still recuperating
from the radiation exposure.”
Sam
offered a slight smile with her nod of acknowledgement, but Janet doubted the
advice would be taken to heart.
She cast a glance at the crystal skull on the table before meeting the
scientist’s eyes once more.
“And good luck.”
“Thanks,
Janet,” Sam replied and then her attention was directed back on the
skull.
Janet
made her way down the hall and when the elevator doors opened she saw the car
was not empty.
“Doctor
Frasier,” Teal’c greeted her warmly.
“Hello,
Teal’c,” she replied, stepping inside. “How are you feeling?”
He
inclined his head slightly.
“I am well, thank you.
My recent kel-no-reem was most
beneficial.” He paused only slightly as Janet reached to press the
elevator keypad. “I am on
my way to the base commissary for a meal. Would you care to join me?”
It was a
little early for lunch, but Janet knew kel-no-reem
sometimes left Teal’c feeling hungry
afterward. And though it was
tempting to return to her office and lose herself in work, she still
didn’t relish the idea of being left alone with her thoughts.
Dropping
her hand back to her side she offered a small smile and replied, “That
would be nice.”
He
inquired after O’Neill and Carter and she told him they’d both
been released from the infirmary.
“Sam is running various tests with Doctor Rothman on the skull
in the lab,” she continued as they entered the mess. “And I believe Colonel O’Neill
was going to speak with the general about the possibility of doing an aerial
search on P7X-377.”
They
didn’t speak of the situation any further while getting their meal, and
once they sat Teal’c asked how Cassandra was
and shared the latest updates regarding Rya’c.
They fell into a companionable silence then and Janet’s thoughts drifted
toward the uncomfortable subject of Daniel. She was only making a half-hearted
attempt at the small salad she’d selected, pushing it around her plate
without really seeing it.
“You
are worried about our friend.”
It
hadn’t been a question, and when Janet looked up, Teal’c
met her gaze with a perceptive gleam in his eye.
“Do
you suspect Daniel Jackson has suffered the same effects of the muon radiation as did O’Neill and Major
Carter?” he asked.
Well, at least he’s not that perceptive, she thought, relieved he’d offered a
reasonable excuse for her distraction.
She nodded. “If the
skull is some kind of transportation device, it’s possible that
wherever he was sent is not affected by the radiation. But even so, he was likely weakened by
the exposure he experienced before being transported.” She swallowed, and didn’t quite
manage to keep the hitch out of her voice. “It’s also possible the
radiation was still present wherever he was sent. And prolonged exposure—”
she broke off, her gaze falling to her barely eaten salad again.
“I
have observed,” Teal’c began, his
inflection softer than normal, “that Daniel Jackson has an inexplicable
talent for beating the odds when it comes to life-threatening situations.”
Janet knew
that her friend was only trying to offer comfort and encouragement, but his
comment unwittingly provided a piece of the puzzle which had heretofore been
eluding her.
And that luck simply has to run out
some day.
The wave
of fear that washed over her then was almost unbearable. Plastering on a smile that she hoped
wouldn’t appear too false, Janet forced herself to say,
“I’m sure you’re right, Teal’c.”
The
conversation once again turned to less burdensome topics and she managed to
choke down the rest of her salad, even as she choked down the trepidation
that had blindsided her. Then
offering Teal’c a friendly farewell, she
escaped to her office.
Accustomed
to dealing with the weighty emotions that were a natural consequence of her
job, Janet hated it when something unnerved her this badly. She wasn’t unrealistic; she
understood she wasn’t invincible.
But she prided herself on being able to maintain a cool head when push
came to shove. Unfortunately, of
all the things she’d had to face, fear was the one she seemed to handle
the worst.
But there’s more to it than
that, her inner
voice insisted as she dropped into the chair behind her desk. This
is not the first time Daniel has been in danger – certainly not the
first time I’ve worried about him.
So why am I so afraid now?
Janet
allowed her thoughts to wander down this path for several more moments, but
further clarity would not come.
Suddenly frustrated, she thumped her elbows on the desk, pressed her
fingers to her forehead and huffed, “This is ridiculous!” Slowly rubbing her temples she strove
to put things back in perspective.
Ever
since discovering how Daniel really felt, her emotions on the matter had been
something of a mess. And now it seemed
she had a good dose of fear to add to the mix. She wasn’t sure if that was
solely due to Daniel’s current situation, or if it somehow played into
her perception of their now rather complicated relationship. Neither did she want to pursue that
particular line of logic too far.
But none of it changed her belief that things were better if they
remained friends. The mere fact
she was sitting here engaged in this thought process was proof enough.
And none of this is doing anything
to solve the more immediate problem – that
Daniel is missing!
Slumping
back, Janet re-directed her thoughts, wondering if there might be something she
could do to help in the search for her friend. A cursory consideration of her medical
expertise in the matter only served to remind that she had no way of knowing
if Daniel had suffered the same complications due to radiation exposure as
the rest of SG-1. Repositioning
in her chair, she began to think back to the original briefing session Daniel
had led about the crystal skull.
Maybe there was something in what he’d said that could be a
clue.
An idea
flickered and she sat up a little straighter. “I don’t
suppose…?” she wondered aloud, a little irritated that she
hadn’t thought of it sooner.
It was probably a long shot, but worth a try. Sliding her chair over so she could
access the computer, Janet began to do a search for Doctor Nicholas Ballard.
^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *
Once General
Hammond gave SG-1 the official go for a return to the planet, Daniel followed
his grandfather back to the VIP quarters. It would take time for personnel to check
the MALP readings for radiation levels in the pyramid, and for his teammates
to gather their gear. During the wait,
he wanted to discuss with Nick their respective experiences with the two
crystal skulls one last time.
“Nick,
I wanted to ask—” he managed before being cut off by a knock at
the door.
Nick
looked at him, eyebrows peaking in unspoken question, but Daniel merely
shrugged. When his grandfather
opened the door, he was a little surprised to see Janet standing outside.
“Doctor
Ballard, I’m sorry to disturb you, but I was wondering if Daniel was still
with you.”
“Yes,
he’s here,” Nick answered.
“Good,”
Janet replied. “Would you
mind… well, serving as a translator, I suppose? There are some questions I need to ask
him, but I’ll need you to relate his answers.”
“Yes,
of course.” Nick moved
aside and opened the door fully.
“I’m
Doctor Frasier, by the way,” Janet said as she entered the room. “I’m Daniel’s
primary physician.”
“And
Chief Medical Officer of the entire SGC,” Daniel added as he shifted to
his left so she wouldn’t walk right through him.
Janet
moved toward the room’s small table. “This shouldn’t take long,
but would you like to sit down?” she asked, and pulled out a chair for
the older man.
“Thank
you,” Nick accepted and Daniel moved to stand behind him.
Janet
took the other seat and began.
“Daniel, I need to know if you’ve suffered symptoms of muon radiation exposure, like the rest of SG-1. Can you tell me if you’ve
noticed any alterations in body temperature, excessive fatigue, dizziness or
blackouts?”
“No,”
Daniel replied. “I was
unconscious for a while, but I think that had more to do with Teal’c’s zat blast
interrupting the skull than the radiation.”
Janet
listened as Nick repeated his answer and then she made some notations on a
memo pad she’d brought with her.
She continued, “Anything out of the ordinary at all that you can
tell me?”
“I’ve
noticed I’m not hungry or thirsty,” Daniel answered and waited
while Nick passed on this information.
Janet’s
eyes widened slightly then narrowed in concentration as she made a few more
notes on her paper.
Nick
leaned forward across the table.
“Do you think Daniel is in any kind of physical danger?”
“I’m
not certain,” she confessed.
“Although it does ease my mind considerably to hear that the
radiation appears not to have affected him as it did the others. That implies that when SG-1 returns to
the planet, and they allow the skull to do whatever it is Daniel’s
convinced it’s supposed to, then at least they shouldn’t be
harmed like they were the first time.”
Nick
chuckled as he leaned back in his chair.
“Doctor, it is good Daniel has someone like you looking out for
him. He has not always been so
good about doing that for himself.”
Janet’s
smile was affably conspiratorial.
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
“When
he was a small boy, Daniel was always getting himself into trouble. It was his insatiable curiosity,
I’m afraid.”
Daniel
frowned. “Hey, I
wasn’t that bad.”
“Now
why doesn’t that surprise me?” Janet responded, her eyes
twinkling slightly as her smile broadened. “Nor can I say that he’s
changed much since getting older.”
“Of
course, he comes by it honest,” Nick conceded, inclining his head. “So perhaps I should not be too
quick to judge.”
Janet set
her memo pad on the table and folded her hands on top of it. “Still, despite its drawbacks, Daniel’s
innate curiosity has served him well.
His archaeological expertise has proven invaluable to the work of the
SGC. And he’s quite
respected around here,” she paused, her tone softening slightly,
“although he’d be the last one to ever admit that.”
“Would
you two mind not talking about me as if I’m no longer in the
room?” Daniel quipped. For
some inexplicable reason Janet’s open praise in front of his
grandfather was making him feel decidedly uncomfortable.
“And
knowing Daniel,” Janet continued as she pushed her chair back from the
table, “he’s probably getting irritated that we’ve dropped
him out of the conversation.”
She stood and gazed around the room as she said, “Daniel, I hope
this plan of yours works, but I want you to be careful.” Her tone had colored with that
sternness Daniel knew brooked no debate.
“And once you get back, I want to see you in the infirmary the
instant General Hammond gives the okay.”
Daniel
smiled. He knew her tenacity was
because she wanted to do her job well.
And she’d no doubt run an entire battery of tests on him once he
returned, poking, prodding and asking numerous questions until his patience
was nearly worn. But that
tenacity was part of what he admired about her.
“Nick,
tell her I understand,” he replied, although is gaze was fixed on
Janet. “And I promise
I’ll be careful.”
Nick
glanced at him peculiarly for a second but relayed the message verbatim. Janet accepted the response with a
single nod of her head, and then held out a hand.
“Thank
you, Doctor Ballard, for helping me.”
The older
man stood, took her hand in both of his as he shook it. “And thank you for helping my
grandson.”
Daniel
watched her leave. As Nick closed
the door behind her he commented, “She seems nice. I like her.”
“Most
people do,” Daniel replied.
Nick
turned to face him. “She
reminds me a little of Cora.”
“Really?” Daniel crossed his arms and stepped
closer. His maternal grandmother
had died nearly two years before he was born; a weak heart, or so his parents
had told him. He couldn’t
remember his grandfather ever speaking of her before. “In what way?”
“In
physical appearance there is very little similarity.” Nick’s eyes misted somewhat and
his voice echoed with fond remembrance as he continued, “Your
grandmother was a quiet woman, very reserved. But a fire burned underneath. She had the same indomitable
spirit I perceive in your Doctor Frasier.”
Silence
lingered as Daniel considered this revelation about the grandmother
he’d never known.
“You
like her too,” Nick said matter of fact.
Daniel furrowed
his brow. It took him a second to
process that Nick had altered course in the conversation. “Janet? Of course I do.” Then it registered that his
grandfather was eyeing him with a rather knowing look. “Nick, we’re just
friends.”
The older
man actually winked at him.
“But of course you are.”
“Trust
me, Nick,” Daniel pressed, his tone hardening. “Friends is
all we are.”
Nick
regarded him closely, but finally nodded and then moved to sit down. “But you wish it were
otherwise?”
Daniel
ran a hand through his hair. I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with my grandfather –
especially right now!
“Yes,” he replied aloud. “I do. But… Janet prefers that we
remain friends.”
Nick met
Daniel’s eyes. “And
she has told you this?”
Daniel
sighed. “Yes.”
“Ah,”
Nick replied. Daniel thought his
grandfather suddenly looked tired and frail. “I am sorry.”
“Nick—”
Daniel faltered. There was so
much he wanted to tell him – about his work, the things he’d
seen, the friendships he’d forged, even about Sha’re. But there simply wasn’t time. He closed the distance between them
and knelt beside Nick’s chair.
“Everything may not be the way I’d like it to be, Nick, but
I have a lot to be thankful for.
And I am happy.”
Nick
still looked apologetic but at least he was trying to smile. “I’m glad to hear that,
Daniel. And I did not mean to
upset you. I’m just an old
man. Forgive me. It’s not my business to
pry.”
“It’s
okay.” Daniel wished he
could have offered some physical contact of assurance. He managed a slight smile of his own
instead. “I actually
appreciate the concern.” When
Nick nodded acceptance Daniel stood and changed the subject. “Now, I was going to ask you if
we could go over our stories about the skull one more time. That is, if you’re feeling up to
it. If you’d rather
rest—”
“No,
I am fine,” Nick insisted.
And without a second’s hesitation he launched into the familiar
tale.
~ THE END
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