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Suggested
Rating: for teen and older
readers
Setting:
Season 7, following the events of Evolution, Parts I and II
Synopsis:
Janet deals with Daniel’s kidnapping in Honduras.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters and
places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret
Productions. This piece of fan
fiction was created for entertainment only and no infringement on copyrights
or trademarks was intended.
Part 6: CONFESSIONS
- by
Michelle Lunsford
Doctor
Janet Frasier glanced at her watch.
It was two minutes later than the last time she had looked. Heaving a sigh, she plopped down in
her chair, resigned to the fact there was nothing more she could do. Everything in the infirmary had been
prepped, checked, and checked again.
When the nurse on duty had started giving her odd looks, she’d
irascibly shooed the woman away.
Then she’d run through a check of everything a third time. Lightly rapping her fingers against a
file on the top of her desk, Janet momentarily contemplated going in search
of a toothbrush. Maybe the
infirmary shower could use a good scrubbing.
‘Get
a hold of yourself,’ her inner voice commanded. ‘They’ll be here soon
enough, and then you’ll have plenty to keep you occupied.’
‘Ah
yes,’ she retorted back at herself, heavy on the sarcasm. ‘Keep myself occupied. What a brilliant strategy that’s
been.’
Ever
since this whole nightmare began, staying busy had been her focus. A busy woman doesn’t have time
to really worry about things, she’d rationalized. And worrying was the last thing she
wanted to do. Only now there was
nothing left to be done, and the anxieties she’d been pushing away for
days finally came tumbling down like so much debris.
Leaning
forward, elbows propped on her desk, Janet buried her face in her hands. Uninvited, the conversation
she’d had with Sam that fateful day replayed in her mind.
“Janet?”
Sam had stood just a little too rigid, her voice and expression tight. Janet had known immediately that her
friend was bringing bad news.
“General Hammond just received word from the State
Department…” Pausing,
Sam had reached out to touch her arm.
“Daniel and Dr. Lee have been kidnapped. There aren’t any clues about
where to find them.”
She’d
worked like mad through that day and into the night, until she eventually
dropped from exhaustion. It still
hadn’t been enough to keep her from crying herself to sleep.
At some
point the next day O’Neill showed up in her office, informing her that
he’d gotten the okay to go on a rescue mission. Wanting to be prepared for the worst,
Janet had practically ordered him to tell her everything.
“We
know it’s a group of Honduran revolutionaries.” His tone had been extremely precise,
betraying none of the emotion that she’d suspected was buried somewhere
beneath that carefully constructed black-ops exterior. “They’ve
demanded that the US
pay a ransom within 72 hours, or they’ll kill the hostages. We’re pretty sure there’s
been torture involved. We
can’t intervene directly, so I’m going in on a strictly
unofficial basis.” The
slight pause Janet had heard in his voice then had been almost
unnoticeable. Almost. “I’m meeting up with a CIA
operative when I get to Central America,”
he finally added and something akin to uncertainty had flashed in the
Colonel’s eyes at that point, filling her with a sense of dread. But it passed as quickly as it had
appeared.
“I’ll
find him” O’Neill had spoken softly, and for a moment his eyes
locked with hers. Janet saw in
them the cold, steely determination she had come to rely on and despite her
fears had felt some measure of consolation. His parting words still lingered in
her mind. “I’ll bring
him back to you, Janet. I
promise.”
The hours
that followed had long since run together, to the point that Janet
couldn’t be sure just how many days had passed. To her, it felt more like weeks. She’d poured herself into work,
eaten just enough to keep going, and collapsed every night into the small bed
in her on-base quarters, only to be plagued with restless sleep and frightful
dreams.
Sometimes
in her dreams she would see Daniel smiling and cheerful, like the day
he’d headed out on his mission.
“Janet,
you know I’m going to miss you.” He’d admitted after glancing
around the infirmary to make sure they were alone.
“Yeah,
right,” she’d playfully mocked. “You’re going to be having
too much fun playing ‘Indiana Jackson’ to think about me.”
Other
times she pictured him from one of their quiet talks together, like recently,
when he’d been a strong and stable support for her after the death of
the Jaffa
warrior Mala.
“It’s
not your fault. You and Sam did
everything you could do.”
As they’d sat together on a bench in the park near her home,
Daniel’s voice had been as soothing as his touch. “And now we know tretonin
won’t work for everyone.
That information will be able to help you, somewhere down the
road. You have to believe that
Mala’s death wasn’t in vain.”
During
the worst of her dreams Janet would envision him lying on the ground, bruised
and bloodied from torture. On
those nights she would wake up in a cold sweat and lie awake for hours afterwards,
trying to reassure herself that he was going to be okay. It had been in the middle of one such
night when the call had finally come.
“Doctor
Frasier, it’s General Hammond.
I apologize for waking you, but I felt certain you’d want to
know.” Janet’s whole
body had tensed as her concentration zeroed in on the steady voice at the
other end of the line.
“Colonel O’Neill has located Doctors Jackson and Lee and
they’re on their way back to us.
They’ve already received the necessary immediate medical
treatment, but I’m having them brought to the SGC as soon as they get
in the States. We anticipate
their arrival sometime around oh-five hundred.”
That had
been a little less than four hours ago.
Now she sat, anxiously waiting.
Inhaling deeply, she massaged her temples in an effort to relieve some
of the tension. A sound in the
hallway startled her, and Janet quickly jumped up from the desk. She ran to the doorway, eyes scanning
the corridor for any sign of disturbance, but all was still. She was tired – half-asleep if
she was honest – and her mind felt foggy. Rubbing her eyes, she mentally
chastised herself.
‘You’ve got a job to do here. Pull yourself together.’
Another
glance at her watch – it was oh-five-twenty now. The sound echoed again, louder this
time, and Janet’s attention became riveted towards one end of the
hallway. As the sound grew
closer, her ear eventually discerned familiar and long-anticipated voices
among the echoes.
“I
just don’t understand why we’re here in the first place,
Jack.” Daniel’s voice
was audibly strained.
“I’m exhausted, and I’d much rather be at home,
where I can sleep in my own bed.”
“Tell
that to the General,” Jack replied, his tone not much better. “He gave the order.”
Janet
realized she was holding her breath and forced herself to exhale. Then they were coming around the
corner, Daniel hobbling with obvious difficulty between a pair of crutches
too short for him, Jack barely a step behind and cautiously watching the
archaeologist’s every step.
Janet slipped out of the doorway, the movement enough to catch both
men’s attention. She met
Daniel’s eye and for a moment it felt as if the whole world froze in
place. ‘He’s
here,’ the thought reverberated through her mind. ‘He’s alive, and
he’s here.’
Suddenly
she was at his side, her mind racing as she went into full doctor mode.
“Quit
complaining and get yourself to the infirmary, pronto.” She barked out the order in her best
hard-nosed tone. “Colonel,
get him off those crutches and help me move him down the hall – where
in the world did you get them anyway, they’re at least three inches too
short for him.”
“Sorry,
Doc,” O’Neill apologized, doing as he was told. “Medical facilities in Central America weren’t exactly up to snuff, and we
had to make do with what was available.”
The
comment was made in the Colonel’s typical off handed manner, but it
immediately reminded Janet of one of the things she’d been worried
about – Daniel’s condition and the level of care he’d
received. She pushed the thought
aside, and focused on getting her patient to the infirmary.
“Where’s
Doctor Lee?” she asked after instructing Daniel to change into a
medical gown and pulling the privacy curtain.
“His
injuries were less severe,” O’Neill replied, meeting her
eyes. “The General wanted
to talk to him for a few minutes, but they should both be down here before
long.”
Janet
nodded as she took in the information.
There’d been a good deal more communicated in the
Colonel’s expression than in his words, and Janet found herself
wondering if her friend would ever get around to telling her everything about
the situation – how he’d found Daniel, what condition Daniel had
been in, what they’d been forced to do in order to escape – or if
she’d have to get those details from Daniel instead. ‘Then again,’ a dark voice
in her head taunted, ‘are you sure you really want to know?’ Aware that she didn’t have time
to deal with such thoughts right now, she pulled her professional mask
tightly around her and turned toward the drawn curtain.
“Daniel,
are you ready?”
“Just
a minute,” came the feeble reply.
Janet
swallowed hard, trying not to think about how difficult and painful this
mundane task probably was for him.
‘Foolish woman,’ she chided herself. ‘He could hardly walk down the
hall without assistance, how can you expect him to change out of his clothes
on his own?’ She opened her
mouth to ask if he needed any help, but was interrupted when his voice
sounded from behind the curtain again.
“Okay,
I’m ready now.”
Taking a
deep breath, Janet pulled back the curtain. She noticed how weary he appeared, the
fatigue evident in his eyes as well as the way he sat slumped in the
bed. His hair was sticking up in
various directions, and several days’ worth of stubble graced his chin
and lower cheeks. She detected
the light but familiar scent of hospital soap and her hands reflexively
tightened into fists, her mind conjuring an image of Daniel, weak and
debilitated, struggling to manage a shower in unfamiliar hospital surroundings.
‘Focus
on your task,’ she mentally scolded, commanding her hands to relax.
Positioning
her stethoscope, she began taking inventory of Daniel’s condition. As the recognizable rhythms of his
heartbeat and breathing echoed in her ears, Janet felt some sense of relief
begin to settle over her.
Removing the stethoscope she suddenly heard footsteps, and turned to
see Hammond
enter, Doctor Lee on his heels.
“Take
a seat on one of the beds, Dr. Lee,” she instructed. “I’ll be with you in a
minute.”
“Dr.
Jackson,” Hammond
acknowledged the man with a nod.
“I’m not going to bother you with questions right now, but
I would like a full report after you’ve had opportunity to rest.” Turning toward O’Neill the
General added, “However, Colonel, I’d like a preliminary
debriefing from you in one hour.”
Janet
caught a glimpse of O’Neill’s quick nod, but noticed he was
keeping his attention primarily focused on Daniel.
“Doctor
Frasier,” Hammond
continued, “anything you need to tell me?”
Janet paused
only long enough to meet the General’s gaze. “No sir, not yet. But I should have an initial report
ready in time to sit in on that preliminary debriefing with Colonel
O’Neill.”
“Good. I’ll see you both in an hour
then.” He gave the
archaeologist a fatherly pat on the shoulder. “It’s good to have you
back, son.”
“Thank
you, sir,” Daniel managed a slight smile.
Hammond exited and Janet was grateful his
visit had been brief. She
didn’t really want to divide her attention between ascertaining Daniel’s
condition and answering her superior’s questions.
As she
studied her patient she found it wasn’t any worse than she’d
anticipated. Receiving that faxed
copy of the report from the hospital in Central America
had gone a long way towards alleviating any shock she might have experienced
now. Still, it was distressing to
make note of each bruise and cut, her mind fitting together pieces from the
hospital report with what her eyes were now seeing. The gunshot wound to the back of his
thigh was the worst of his injuries, but thankfully it looked as if the
Honduran hospital staff had done a fair job of cleaning and bandaging the
wound.
Daniel
remained quiet – except for answering her specific questions –
and avoided any direct eye contact through the entire procedure. Janet had to admit she was thankful
for that as well. It was
difficult enough to maintain her professional persona right now without
having to deal with his affectionate tone or lingering gazes. She knew Daniel understood, but still
felt a twinge of guilt for her necessary detachment. When she finished her preliminary
exam, she finally sought his gaze and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.
“Looks
like the medical staff in Central America
did a good job.” It was
meager, she thought, as far as encouragement went, but it must have been
enough because Daniel’s face lit up with a smile. Her heart fairly soared at the sight
of it. “I have to go check
on Dr. Lee, and then I’ll want to run a few tests. But for now, you can lie back and rest,
okay?”
“Okay,”
he agreed, nodding slightly.
Janet
pressed lightly against his shoulder, easing him back against the
pillow. She maintained eye
contact, until Daniel finally allowed his to close. She waited, staring at him,
practically willing the lines of stress on his face to ease into something
more reminiscent of sleep. After
a few seconds, she released a sigh and stepped around the bed.
She
paused, near where the Colonel stood at the end of the bed, and placed a
light touch on his arm.
“And you can stop playing like mother hen,” she whispered,
allowing a hint of kindness to color her tone.
O’Neill
glanced down at her.
“He’s really going to be okay?”
She
nodded, holding his gaze and allowing her eyes to express the gratitude her
words could not.
“He’s really going to be okay.”
~ *
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For the
longest time Janet leaned against the doorjamb and simply watched him. The profile of his body was half concealed
by the partially drawn privacy curtain, but she could tell he was
sleeping. It was already a few
minutes past oh-seven thirty, and soon the activity level around the
infirmary would increase. But for
now all was calm and quiet.
She had
given her report to General Hammond, and then listened attentively to Colonel
O’Neill’s preliminary account, all the while attempting to
project an air of dispassionate objectivity. The briefing ended, and as they stood
out of respect for the departing General, O’Neill had glanced across
the table and pointedly caught her eye.
He didn’t say a word, but Janet knew he was offering, in his own
unique way, to be there for her.
Knowing that if she spoke to him she would break down entirely, she
had simply acknowledged his intent with a tiny smile. Then with a quick shake of her head,
she’d left the room.
She’d
made her way back to the infirmary, not really certain what she was going to
do when she got there. Doctor Lee
had been discharged and sent home, leaving the room empty except for its
single occupant. A discernable
sense of peace had settled over the room like a warm blanket, and in the
serenity of the moment, Janet hadn’t been able to bring herself to
disturb his sleep.
“How
long are you going to just stand there?”
Janet
started as Daniel’s soft murmur cut through the silence. Unfolding her arms she stepped into
the room, her military pumps making a soft click-clack noise against the
floor. The sound, instantly
familiar and indicative of her more professional military self, was in stark
contrast to her present mood and Janet felt for a moment as if those
reverberations were actually mocking her.
“I
thought you were asleep,” she said, coming to stand beside his
bed. “I didn’t want
to wake you.”
Heavy lids
fluttered partially open, and Janet saw a hint of blue. “I was asleep,” he
admitted, his voice still groggy.
“But that’s okay.
I’d rather be awake now that you’re here.”
Janet
smiled in spite of herself as a rush of emotion came over her. She forced a steadying breath and
sought for something to say that might reflect more levity than she felt.
“What
am I going to do with you, Doctor Jackson?” she finally managed, her
voice surprisingly calm.
He
blinked, his eyes coming fully open now, and smiled. “Is that a threat…”
he patted an empty spot on the bed, inviting her to sit, “or a
promise?”
Janet
climbed up beside him, allowing the motion to momentarily distract her. She shook her head, going for another
attempt at light-hearted banter.
“I’m afraid I harassed the medical staff at the Central
American hospital pretty severely,” she said, embellishing the truth
only slightly. “I demanded
faxes of all your files, scrutinized their processes, and made myself a
general pain to everyone. It was
the best I could do since I couldn’t fly down there directly.”
Daniel
stared at her for several seconds, his expression unreadable. Finally, his mouth twisted in the
beginnings of a grin.
"You
would have gone all the way to Central America
to check out my medical condition?” There was just enough jesting in his
tone for Janet to know he was playing along with her little game. Reaching for her hand, he added,
“That's quite a house call, Doctor Frasier."
His affectionate
teasing threatened the tenuous grip Janet held on her emotions. Not trusting herself to meet his eyes,
she glanced down at their interlaced fingers.
"I wanted to go," she admitted in a
whisper, all pretenses forgotten now.
"I so desperately wanted to see for myself, to be sure that you
were alright."
Daniel
squeezed her hand in reply.
"I
never expected--" Janet could feel the tears forming and she swallowed
hard, fighting against them.
"I mean, I've come to accept that every time SG-1 steps through
the Gate, you're all taking a risk – putting your life in danger. I've learned to deal with that. But, I never stopped to think that a
simple earth-bound expedition could end up like this." She waved her free hand in a vague
gesture, attempting to take in the entire situation.
He gently
ran a thumb over the fingers locked with his, sighing heavily. "I'm sorry."
She
looked directly at him then, a touch of chastisement in her expression. "Daniel, it's not your fault you
were kidnapped."
"I know,"
he replied softly, holding her gaze.
"That's not what I meant.
I'm sorry you had to worry… and that I was the cause of
it."
Janet
vigorously shook her head.
"No, you shouldn't apologize – not for that. Don't ever be
sorry for that."
Her tone had
been far too adamant, and at his questioning gaze Janet knew she had to
explain further.
"Yes,
I was worried,” she confessed.
She reached up and tenderly brushed through his hair. “Not knowing exactly what had
happened to you, wondering if I'd ever see you again… The truth is, the past several days
have been horrible.”
Janet
knew she was beginning to tremble slightly, but she continued
resolutely. “But I don't
regret one minute of it – I wouldn’t change a thing in regards to
what I’ve been through the past few days. Because to change it would
mean…” she hesitated, biting at her lower lip. But it was no good. She couldn't stop the tears any more
than she could deny her feelings.
"To change it would mean I'd also have to change how I feel about
you. It would mean that I
didn’t love you.”
Janet sat
perfectly still, watching the emotions that swirled in Daniel's eyes, waiting
to see how he would respond. When
he reached for her, she crumpled into his embrace. Resting her head against his chest, she
let her tears fall freely.
‘So much for not openly showing our feelings at work,’ she
thought weakly.
“I
was worried too,” Daniel whispered, gently stroking her hair. “I worried about what you might
be thinking and feeling. And I
worried that we wouldn't make it out – that I'd never get to see your
beautiful face again, or be able to hold you like this. But those same thoughts also helped
me, in a way. It made me want to
fight, and to be strong, so that I could make it back home to you."
Janet pulled
herself away slightly, searching his expression, knowing what she found there
would reinforce the sincerity of his words.
Daniel
took her face in his hands, tenderly brushing away the last of her tears.
"Yours
is the image that I always kept at the front of my mind, Janet," he
said, an ardent sincerity in his tone.
"And I promised myself that I would
stay alive. Because I had to make
it home, so that I could look you in the eye and tell you that you have become
the most important person in the world to me. So I could tell you I love you."
Janet
willingly succumbed to the warmth that enveloped her with his confession, and
as Daniel pulled her face closer she felt the last of her anxieties begin to
melt away. The kiss was
delightfully intense, but no sooner had it begun than Janet felt him break
contact and gently push her away.
“I’m
sorry,” he said hastily.
“I’m not supposed to be doing this while we’re at
work, am I?”
The
abrupt change in his demeanor caught her a little off guard, but the abashed
look on his face was so endearing that Janet couldn’t help but
smile. Smiling fondly at him, she
shook her head.
“No. But I think we can overlook the
blunder just this once…”
She donned her best no-nonsense expression before adding, “On
one condition.”
“What’s
that?” he asked warily, his eyebrows going up imperceptibly.
Janet
maintained the look for several heartbeats before an amorous smirk finally
broke through. “That you
promise to finish that kiss properly at some point in the near future –
when we’re not at work, of course.”
His mouth
curved into a captivating smile.
“I promise.”
~ END ~
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