|
Suggested
Rating: for teen and older
readers
Setting: Season 7,
approximately three weeks after Lifeboat
Synopsis: A rescue, a
history paper review, and an impromptu dinner lead to Daniel learning
something new about his friend.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters and
places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret
Productions. This piece of fan
fiction was created for entertainment only and no infringement on copyrights or
trademarks was intended.
Part 1: BEGINNINGS
-by Michelle Lunsford
Daniel Jackson meandered
down the hall, his focus fully engaged on the book he was carrying. Walking while simultaneously reading
was a skill he’d discovered in high school and subsequently perfected
during his university days.
Sometimes, however, it was still a dangerous endeavor.
“Out of the way - now!”
The precise and very commanding voice of Doctor Janet
Frasier grabbed his attention a split-second before the medical team racing
down the hall nearly careened into him.
Sidestepping the mayhem, Daniel pressed against the corridor wall as
they flew past.
“Sorry,” a nurse called out as she ran
by. “Medical
emergency. SG-9.”
Daniel nodded as three men, additional members of SG-9,
followed after her. He searched
his memory trying to recall what mission SG-9 had been on. Nothing came to mind. But Stargate Command was a busy
place. And while he liked to keep
up with what was going on, he usually had more important matters to deal with
than details of every SG team mission.
After all, that was General Hammond’s job. Still, he wasn’t so callous as
to be unconcerned about another team member’s condition. Although he’d been on his way
toward the surface, headed home for the night, he considered following after
them to see how the man was.
The sight of Janet’s face – serious and
determined – just before she’d wheeled the gurney at breakneck
speed around the corner, once again flitted through his mind, and Daniel
thought better of it. No,
he’d likely be getting in the way.
He’d have better luck heading up to the control room and try to
find some answers there. Tucking
the book under his arm, he headed that direction. He was just passing Janet’s
office when he detected the sound of Cassandra’s voice.
“Mom, are you there?”
Poking his head inside the room, Daniel discovered the
voice was coming from Janet’s phone. A further investigation revealed it
was on speaker mode, and the voice mail service was broadcasting through
it. ‘Janet must have been
on the phone when the medical emergency came in,’ he thought. ‘Probably didn’t think to
switch off speaker mode before hanging up.’
Cassandra’s voice came through again, decidedly
insistent. “Mom, if
you’re there, please pick up – it’s an emergency.”
Without a second thought, Daniel switched off the speaker
and grabbed the receiver.
“Cassandra, it’s Daniel. Your mom’s in the middle of an
emergency herself right now.
What’s wrong?”
“Oh,” came the slightly less anxious
reply. “Is Mom okay?”
“Yes,” Daniel answered. “Just a medical situation with
one of the SG teams. I
don’t know how serious it is, but she’s probably going to be tied
up for a while. Are you
okay?”
“Yes. I
mean no. Well, that is I’m
not hurt or-- how did you know it was me on the phone, anyway?”
Daniel fought the urge to grip the receiver any
tighter. ‘Were teenagers
always this exasperating?’ he wondered. “I was walking by and heard your
mom’s phone. I think she had
it on speaker mode before the emergency came in. Speaking of, you mentioned an
emergency yourself – what is it?”
There was a hesitant pause before Cassandra finally
admitted from the other end, “I, um – my car is broken
down.”
Daniel relaxed slightly. “Where are you?”
“In the Hobby Lobby parking lot. The one by the mall on the north side
of town.”
Daniel knew immediately where she meant, although he did
wonder why she was there, instead of at the mall on the south side, much
closer to their house.
“Okay.
Do you have any idea what’s wrong with your car?”
“Not really,” she replied. “It was running fine earlier
today, but now it won’t start.
Won’t even act like it’s going to start. And I’m afraid if I keep trying,
I’m going to run the battery down.” There was an uncertain pause. “Daniel?”
At the tone of her voice, Daniel’s grip on the
receiver tightened again.
“Yes?”
“I don’t know if it’s anything to be
worried about, but I’ve noticed a car with a bunch of teenage boys has
driven by several times. I
don’t recognize them. They
probably go to school at Northside.”
Daniel’s mind went into overdrive as he glanced at
his watch. It was nearly eight
thirty p.m. Janet was busy for
who knew how long. He
contemplated contacting one of Cassandra’s friends, but considering
where most of them lived, they would never be able to make it to the north
side of town before nine o’clock.
Of course, the base was closer to that side of town. And although no auto mechanic, Daniel
figured he was more adept at handling the situation than one of
Cassie’s peers.
“Cass, I’ll be there as soon as I can. I want you to go into the store and
wait for me, okay?”
“Okay,” she replied, relief evident in her
voice. “I’ll be
watching for you.”
Even as he hung up the phone, Daniel reached for a note
pad, jotting down some information about the situation for Janet. He didn’t want to worry her, but
he did want her to be aware of what was going on. Daniel taped the message to her
computer monitor then quickly headed out the door.
~ * ~
* ~ *
~ * ~
* ~ *
~ * ~
The sight that greeted Daniel as he entered the store was
Cassandra engaged in a rather animated conversation with a young adult
woman. Neither looked
particularly happy.
"Daniel, thank goodness," Cassandra exclaimed as
he approached.
He acknowledged Cassandra with a nod, but kept a wary eye
on the other woman. He couldn't
mistake the feeling that trouble had definitely been brewing.
"Is everything all right?" he asked, directing
the question to Cassandra.
"Are you responsible for this young lady?" the
woman interrupted curtly.
Daniel saw Cassandra open her mouth to retort, and from
the expression on her face it wasn't going to be nice. He held up a finger and gave her his
best let-me-assess-and-handle-the-situation look.
"Ah, for the moment, yes I am, um--" Daniel
glanced at the name badge on the woman's uniform vest, "Miss
Abernathy." He pulled out
his reliable 'we come in peace' smile.
"I'm Doctor Daniel Jackson. Has there been a problem?"
The clerk nodded sharply. "She's been loitering around the
store for some time now. Her
behavior has been very suspicious."
Daniel raised his eyebrows. "Suspicious?"
"Yes.
She's been lurking –
keeps looking out the front windows.
She's obviously not shopping, although she was in here to make a
purchase earlier. When I stopped
her just a moment ago, to question her about her business, she gave me some
story about a broken down vehicle."
The woman’s tone indicated that she considered such a
circumstance utterly preposterous.
"Yes," Daniel replied. "Her car won't start. When she called me, I instructed her
to go inside the store to wait because I knew it would be safer. If anything in her behavior seemed out
of the ordinary, I'm sure it's just because she was worried I wouldn't arrive
before you closed."
"Oh. I
see." The woman had the good
grace to look contrite. She
turned to Cassandra. "I'm
sorry for any misunderstanding."
Daniel waited for Cassandra's response. At first it seemed she might be
ungracious, but eventually – he was glad to see – she managed a
polite, if somewhat mumbled, word of thanks.
"We're just going to check on the car now,”
Daniel added, “but I'm guessing at this time of night we won't be able
to get anyone out to fix it. Is
it okay if we have to leave it in the parking lot overnight?"
"I suppose," Miss Abernathy replied. "So long as it's only one
night."
"Thank you," Daniel said, smiling in
relief. He figured the last thing
Janet would need after a night with a medical emergency was a morning
attempting to track down a vehicle that had been towed away, complete with an
outrageous towing fee.
The store manager offered one sharp nod, then turned and
walked away.
"I'm sure she thinks I was shoplifting,"
Cassandra muttered. "Of all
the nerve."
Daniel gave her a sideways glance. "Cass, I'm sure she was just
trying to do her job. And she did
apologize."
The teen sighed.
"Oh, all right. Can
we please just go now?"
"Sure.
Let's go take a look at your car."
Between their mutual lack of automotive expertise, it
didn't take long. Daniel was able
to rule out the fault of a dead battery or empty gas tank, but beyond that he
had no idea. Cassandra retrieved
her purchases and locked the car for the night.
"So, what brought you to this side of town?"
Daniel asked as he drove her home.
“I have an important project to finish this week for
the festival the Art Club is sponsoring, and the Hobby Lobby on our side of
town didn’t have what I needed,” she explained.
“I see,” Daniel replied. He noticed she was watching him from
the corner of her eye. “Was
there some other reason, besides art supplies?”
Cassandra sighed.
“You can keep a secret, right?”
Daniel shifted slightly in his seat. He wondered where this was going. “Um… so long as it
doesn’t get you in trouble.”
“Oh, it’s nothing like that,” she
quickly amended, waving a hand dismissively. “It’s just that
there’s this special chocolate shop in Northside Mall, called Le
Petite Chocolat. Mom loves
the place, but seldom goes there because, one, it’s out of our way, and
two, it’s a bit pricey. I
wanted to get her a little something for a surprise.”
That piqued his interest. “What’s the occasion?”
“Nothing special. It’s one of those for-no-reason
surprises.”
Daniel smiled.
“Ah, the best kind.
So what did you get her?”
“A small box of dark chocolates. That’s her favorite.” Cassandra’s gaze turned toward
the passenger window as she continued.
“I just thought Mom could use a little treat, you know. I think she’s been under extra
stress lately.”
“Really,” Daniel answered, his tone a mixture
of question and concern.
“What makes you think that?”
“Nothing in particular,” she replied. “It’s not anything
major. Just the occasional sign
that Mom’s a bit more stressed than normal, you know? I figure it’s something at work. I don’t always ask her about
that kind of stuff, because I know she’ll talk to me about it if she
wants to – or if she can. I
know some stuff she can’t even tell me.”
“How long have you noticed your mom’s been
like this?” Daniel asked, attempting to ignore a sudden sensation of
disquiet.
“Oh, couple of weeks maybe.” Cassandra was silent for a few seconds
before returning her gaze to him.
“Actually, now that I think about it, it’s been about
three weeks. I remember she was
especially exhausted one night when she came home. All she mentioned was that there had
been a real touch-and-go situation at the SGC. Something to do with a group of people
from somewhere called Talthus.”
Daniel felt his hands tighten on the steering wheel as his
sudden disquiet ratcheted up a notch.
“Seems like ever since then Mom’s been…
well, I wouldn’t say she’s tense, or upset or anything, but
it’s almost as if she’s preoccupied about something.” Cassie shrugged. “Maybe I’m just imagining
things. At any rate, I thought
the chocolate might cheer her up.”
As Cassandra’s attention drifted toward the window
again, Daniel attempted to rein in his unexpectedly racing thoughts. It had been a little over three weeks
since SG-1's encounter with the crashed ship, Stromos, on Planet P2A-347.
It had been a difficult mission, to say the least.
Janet had been keeping a close watch on Daniel's recovery the
past few weeks. After the first
couple of days, when all tests had indicated he was healthy and normal
– combined with his impatient persistence to return to work –
Janet had released him for duty, with strict orders that he report to the
infirmary immediately if he noticed even the slightest hint of anything
wrong. The headaches began soon
after, but it wasn't until the dreams a couple of nights later that Daniel
had finally made his way to Janet's office.
The dreams weren't terrible, but they were disturbing. A mish-mash of vivid images, with
places and people Daniel knew he didn't recognize – yet distinctly felt
that he should – they interrupted his sleep and always left him with
inexplicably intense emotions upon waking. It was only after describing some of
the dreams to Janet that she had figured out they might be associated with
memories from the others who had shared his mind. Considering they'd believed all traces
of those consciousnesses had been removed, this idea didn't sit well with
either of them. Janet had
suggested he consider talking to Doctor MacKenzie. That's when Daniel had confided what
was truly bothering him.
Daniel's own consciousness going into a comatose state
while under the influence of multiple minds may have been part of what helped
him to survive, but it had also prevented him from being able to remember
most of what happened during that time.
Considering the nature of the ordeal, Daniel had to concede that this
was a good thing. However,
following so soon after his previous bout of amnesia from his descension,
this inability to recall everything that happened had unnerved him more than
he cared to admit. The fact that
he'd begun having dreams, which might be associated with memories he
supposedly didn't even possess, had been enough to make Daniel question if he
hadn't been affected more seriously than they'd originally suspected. And even if he did have to acknowledge
that all this was giving him reason to at least consider questioning his mental state, taking the issue up with
MacKenzie was the last thing he wanted to do.
Janet had listened to his confession attentively, but
Daniel worried at the time she would put up a fight. To his surprise, she’d taken his
side. While mental health wasn't
her specialty, Janet had promised to help him work through the after-effects
of the ordeal, and to keep the matter completely confidential – with
the understanding that if it did develop into something more severe, he would
get additional help. She'd been
running periodic tests and keeping tabs on him ever since.
In light of Cassandra’s comments Daniel
couldn’t help but wonder if all this hadn’t worried Janet more
than she’d let on.
"Daniel?" Cassandra’s tentative voice
pulled him from his thoughts.
"Yeah?"
"Do we have to tell Mom about the, uh-- the scene
with the store manager?"
Daniel glanced over at his passenger. She was staring at him, a look of
uncertainty reflected in her eyes.
Daniel hadn’t thought the incident had been a big deal, but
obviously it seemed significant to Cassandra.
"Not if you don't want to," he replied,
returning his gaze to the road.
"It's just that I don't want her to worry any more
than she already will," she explained. "I mean I know moms are supposed
to worry – that's what they do.
But sometimes I think Mom worries more than normal because…
well, you know – because I'm different."
Daniel understood all too well what she meant. How often, in his childhood, had he
experienced similar thoughts about some of his foster parents? Although in his case, Daniel had only
felt like he was from an alien planet at times. Cassandra actually was from one.
"You're not really different, Cass," he
reassured. "You were just
born and spent your early childhood in a different place. It's not the same thing."
She was silent for a moment, her
gaze focused out the front window again.
"I know I don't always make it easy for her. I feel like I've adapted to life here
pretty well. But sometimes
– even after all this time – I just feel like I don't know how
I'm supposed to act, or what I'm supposed to do."
Daniel sent a quick, supportive smile her direction. "You're not the only person who
ever feels that way," he pointed out.
"I know," Cassandra admitted, "but that's
not what I'm getting at. Take, for
instance, my learning how to drive.
Mom made a point of working with me to make sure I understood all the
traffic rules. And she even
taught me how to do some maintenance things, like how to change a tire, and
to make sure and keep up with when it's time for oil changes – stuff
like that. And then tonight my
car breaks down, and nothing I learned was any good. I didn't have any idea what to
do," she finished in one large huff of exasperation.
"Before you write yourself off as a total failure,
let me remind you that I wasn't any more knowledgeable about how to fix your
car than you were," Daniel replied.
"And, for what it's worth, I think you handled the situation very
well."
Cassandra shot him a look, her eyebrows peaked in obvious
skepticism.
"You remained calm in the middle of your
crisis.” For added emphasis
he held up a hand, raising a finger to mark off each statement as he
continued. "You called your
mom – and even if you hadn't gotten through, I'm sure you would have
called someone else you knew you could trust. You also followed my directions to the
letter, which I very much appreciate by the way. And if all that isn't enough, you
still had your wits about you to observe that car of boys that kept passing
through the parking lot. You did
well, Cass."
"You really think so?"
Dropping his hand, he gave the teen a reassuring pat on
the arm. "No, I really know so."
She turned her attention back to the window, but not
before he caught her grin from the corner of his eye.
“Thanks,” she said. "I should also say thanks for
coming to my rescue, with the car, picking me up and everything." Her grin was full-fledged now. "You've been a regular Lancelot
tonight."
"Lancelot, huh?" Daniel reflected a grin of his
own. "Don't think I've ever
been described as that before."
"Well, I've been researching Arthurian legends for an
English Lit paper I'm working on.
I guess I have knights on the brain. Speaking of, did Mom tell you that I
was writing a paper about Egyptian culture for my elective history
class?"
"Yes, she did."
"It's not due for another week or so, but I'm pretty
much to the final draft now. I
was wondering if you'd mind taking a look at it when it's finished?" she
asked.
"Sure, I'd be happy to," Daniel replied. "In fact, I can take a look at it
tonight, when I drop you off at your house."
"That'd be great," Cassandra enthused.
~ * ~
* ~ *
~ * ~
* ~ *
~ * ~
Daniel scanned the final paragraph a second time. Glancing up over the edge of the paper,
he found Cassandra’s eyes boring into him. She was sitting on her bed, legs
pulled up with her chin propped on her knees, looking for all intents and
purposes like some queen enthroned amid blue pillows and bed-ruffles, with
subjects of childhood stuffed animals and assorted teen-idol posters. Adjusting his glasses slightly, he
donned the supervisory expression he’d always tried to present to his
research assistants, and sat up straighter in the desk chair that was
decidedly too small for a man his size.
“Well?” she asked, scooting forward to the
edge of her bed.
The academician in him wanted to draw this out. But in light of her eagerness, Daniel
simply couldn’t maintain the façade. “Cass, this is very good,”
he finally said, smiling encouragingly.
A grin widened across her features. “You really think so?”
“Yes.
You’ve given a good, balanced overview, covered all the
important aspects – and on top of that, it’s well written
too.”
“Thanks,” she replied. “Of course, it wasn’t
easy, trying to be unbiased when I know that half of what is out there in the
research is dead wrong. But, I
can’t exactly put information about Goa’uld infested hosts in my
history term paper, now can I?”
Daniel smiled in understanding. “No, you can’t.”
The phone rang.
“Excuse me,” Cassandra said, stretching across her bed as
she reached for the receiver.
“Hello… oh, hi Mom.”
Daniel leafed through the paper again in an effort not to
eavesdrop, but his attention was partly tuned to the one-sided phone
conversation.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Cassandra said, as she
finished making a brief explanation of her automotive troubles. “But we had to leave the car in
the parking lot. I called and
left a message on our mechanic’s answering machine, so he should be
expecting us tomorrow… no, actually I haven’t eaten… that
sounds great… yeah, he’s still here, hang on a sec--”
Cassie held a hand over the mouthpiece
“Daniel, what do you like on your pizza?”
Daniel blinked in confusion at the out-of-the-blue question
before realization finally dawned.
“Oh – no, I don’t want to be a bother. It’s late as it is. I should leave as soon as your mom
gets home.”
“Don’t be silly,” Cassandra scolded
affectionately. “If Mom
doesn’t insist you stay – and you know she’s going to
– then I will. Now, what do
you like on your pizza?”
Daniel sighed in defeat. There was no way he could take on both
Frasier women at once.
“Anything except bell peppers.”
Cassandra relayed the information. “Okay, Mom, see you in a
bit.” She hung up the
phone. “Mom’s going
to pick up a pizza on her way home.”
“So I gathered,” Daniel replied, placing the
term paper on Cassandra’s desk.
“But she really shouldn’t go to any trouble on my
account.”
“Who said it was on your account?” Cassandra
grinned mischievously as she sprawled across her bed. “Besides, Mom hadn’t
eaten. She was planning to stop
and get something anyway.”
“Okay,” Daniel conceded. He stood, suddenly feeling out of
place in the middle of this female teenage territory. “In the meantime, why don’t
we go set the table, so we’ll be ready to eat when your mom gets
home.”
“Good idea.
And can we talk some more about my history paper while we work?”
Daniel couldn’t help but smile at her
enthusiasm. “I’d love
to.”
~ * ~ *
~ * ~
* ~ *
~ * ~
* ~
Daniel hadn’t realized how hungry he was until Janet
arrived, accompanied by the fragrance of fresh, hot pizza. He met her at the door while Cassandra
got drinks ready in the kitchen.
She looked tired, he noted, but she still managed a smile at his
greeting. And she visibly
brightened upon seeing her daughter was indeed home and safe.
They talked during their meal about the emergency medical
situation Janet had been called to at work – the captain from SG-9
would be fine – as well as Cassandra’s automotive difficulties
from the evening. When Janet
hadn’t believed that the need for art supplies was the only reason her
daughter had driven to the Northside Mall, Cassie had been forced to admit
her planned surprise. Daniel
watched with amusement as Janet fairly beamed at her daughter and the
thoughtful gift. As they finished
off the last of the pizza, and began tackling Janet’s chocolates for
dessert, Cassandra and Daniel again spoke of her history paper.
"Now Cassie," Janet interrupted after a while,
her voice loving but firm.
"I know you'd love to keep Daniel here discussing Egyptian
culture all night, but you do have school tomorrow."
"Oh, all right," Cassandra replied, her mock
exasperation cut short as she stifled a yawn. She gave Daniel a good-natured nudge
in the arm as she stood.
"You'll have to come by and visit so we can talk like this again
sometime."
Daniel nodded.
"Sure. I'd like
that."
Cassandra circled the table, stopping at Janet’s
chair. She bent and placed a
quick kiss on her mother’s cheek.
"Goodnight Mom. See
you in the morning."
"Sleep well Sweetheart," Janet replied.
"Goodnight Cass," Daniel said.
The teen paused as she passed Daniel's chair, then bent
and graced his cheek with a friendly peck as well.
Daniel glanced up, smiling at the uncharacteristic display
of affection. "What was that
for?"
Shrugging slightly the girl answered, "Oh, you know
– for staying and eating pizza with us, for discussing stuff
intelligently with me, and especially for coming to my rescue earlier
tonight… Lancelot," she jokingly threw in the moniker from
earlier.
Taking the bait, Daniel stared at her in exaggerated
adoration. "Well, with
appreciation like that, my Lady, I truly will have to travel this way and
partake of your kind company more often." For added measure, he gave a playful
wink.
Cassandra's grin stretched from ear to ear. "Oh, cut it out," she
teased, poking his arm again before ambling toward her bedroom.
Daniel's own smile lingered as his gaze followed her. It was only after a few seconds of
silence that he realized Janet was watching him intently.
"What?" he asked innocently.
"Nothing," she replied, brown eyes shining. "Just having a mother
moment."
Daniel nodded.
Reaching for his glass he slowly took a drink. He didn't fully understand, but
figured it wasn't something Janet could necessarily explain.
“I’m very grateful to you for driving out to
check on her car, and bringing her home,” Janet said. “I knew as soon as I saw your
note on my computer that I didn’t have to worry.”
“It was nothing,” Daniel murmured, feeling a
little embarrassed by her praise.
Janet glanced down the hall toward Cassandra’s
room. “I know she’s
careful, that she’s responsible and can take care of herself,
but…” A sigh escaped
her lips.
“She’ll always be your little girl?”
Daniel finished the thought for her as he managed to catch her eye.
“Yeah, something like that.” Janet peered at him over the rim of
her diet coke. "She's very
fond of you, you know.
Daniel's gaze drifted back to Cassandra's closed bedroom
door. "Well, the feeling's
mutual."
A comfortable silence held between them before Daniel
returned his attention to his hostess.
"And Cassie's not the only one who should be calling
it a night. Here we've kept you
up late, and I bet you have an early shift in the morning," Daniel said
apologetically.
Janet waved a hand dismissively. "I do, but Dr. Warner promised to
cover for me for a couple of hours."
"Good," Daniel replied. He rose and began gathering plates and
the empty pizza box.
"Leave that," Janet fussed, setting down her now
empty glass.
"It's no bother," he countered, ignoring her
command.
"I know."
Janet reached to place a restraining hand on his arm. "But before you leave, I want to
talk to you about something."
Daniel paused and eyed her inquisitively. "About what?"
She didn’t flinch from his gaze. "We haven't really had a chance
to talk since your last round of test results, and I wanted to ask how you've
been feeling?"
Daniel’s thoughts flashed back to his conversation
with Cassie in the car, the teen’s concern about her mother’s
stress level, and his wondering if it had anything to do with the whole Stromos
incident.
"I'm feeling better," he replied honestly as he
settled back in his chair, trash from their impromptu dinner now
forgotten. "The headaches
are gone, and the dreams are coming less frequent – less vivid
too."
"That's good to hear," Janet replied. She slid her chair back from the table
slightly and pulled one leg underneath her. "Your last MRI was normal, by the
way – just like the previous two."
“It's looking more and more like your theory was
right," Daniel went on.
"Maybe my brain really did just need time to rest after all the
stress of what happened."
Janet nodded thoughtfully. "And that takes care of the
doctor-patient routine. Now, as a
friend, how are you really
feeling?"
Janet's expression was so gentle, her tone so genuinely
concerned, that Daniel felt an unexpected touch of awkwardness. His eyes fell to the table and he
noticed he’d been absently twirling the remains of a pizza crust on his
plate. Self-conscious now, he
forced his hands to stillness.
Her inquiry hit too close to the mark, he realized. As he didn’t actually understand
his feelings recently, this was the very issue he'd been attempting to get a
handle on.
"I, um--”
Clearing his throat, and shifting his weight in the chair, Daniel
raised his eyes to the woman sitting across from him. “Over the past couple of days,
I've been watching the security videos that were taped while I was in the
observation room," he finally said.
"Interesting," Janet commented, reaching for the
open box of candy. Pausing only
long enough to decide which piece to select, she questioned, "Do you
think it helped?"
Daniel shrugged.
"Maybe a little. At
least some things make more sense now." At her puzzled expression, he went on,
"After all the dreams, it was almost like I actually recognized some of
the people I saw on the tapes, because of the body language, or how they
talked. Although it was
very… odd to watch myself and realize it was truly another
consciousness doing the talking."
"I know what you mean," she remarked lightly,
before popping a tiny chocolate into her mouth.
Images from the videos of Janet interacting with the
multiple characters residing in his body flashed in Daniel's mind. "Yeah, I guess you would,"
he replied.
Janet smiled sympathetically and the unusual sensation of
anxiousness pulled at him again.
But this time Daniel forced himself not to look away.
"Anyway, watching those tapes didn't exactly help me
to remember anything, but I do think it was helpful to have some kind of
visual record to reference, even if it's from an outside point of view.
Daniel paused, unsure if he should say more. He noted that Janet waited, her stare
unwavering, as silence fell between them.
"But there's something else that's on your mind,
isn't there?" she finally asked.
'How can she be so perceptive?' Daniel wondered, as he
struggled not to avert his eyes.
"You could say that," he answered aloud.
"Would you rather not talk about it?"
'Ah, that's the question, isn't it?' his mind
taunted. And had he only imagined
the slight disappointment he'd just heard in her voice?
"It's… complicated," he admitted.
"Most things are," she countered. When he made no answer, Janet crossed
her arms and leaned forward across the table. "Daniel, you know I'm not going to
make you discuss something you
don't want to, but I did promise to help you work through this. And right now the only way I may be
able to help is simply by listening.
But I'd like to do that."
Daniel fought against his growing sense of
hesitation. ‘Maybe it would
be better to just talk to her about this,’ he told himself. Releasing a sigh, he forged ahead.
“When I decided to watch the security tapes,”
he began slowly, “it was with the idea it might help me remember what
had happened, or at least help me understand a little better what
happened.”
He looked to Janet to make sure she was following, and she
nodded.
“On some level, I think it did help. But something else happened. Something I didn’t
expect.”
“What?” she asked, her gaze steady.
“I’m not sure how to explain it, really. But it… that is…”
Daniel took a slow, deep breath. He was unsure how Janet was going to
respond to this, but as he looked at her he saw nothing less than complete
trust and concern in her expression.
“It has to do with you, actually,” he
confessed at last.
“Me?” Janet asked, her forehead puckered in
bewilderment. “In what
way?”
Daniel felt as if his mouth had suddenly gone dry. ‘Well, I’ve said this
much’ he thought.
‘Might as well go for broke.’ Aloud he said, “I’ve always
thought you were strong, Janet, and that you’d do everything within
your power to help those under your care. But what I saw on those tapes…
it went beyond anything I’ve ever witnessed before.”
Janet abruptly leaned back in her chair, clearly taken off
guard by his declaration.
“I was just doing my job,” she replied, her
voice suddenly low.
“Of course you were,” Daniel agreed. “I don’t doubt that for a
minute. But there was something
else… something different about you.”
Janet sat quietly for several seconds, her gaze focused on
some unspecific spot across the room.
Daniel noticed she was beginning to fidget with her fingers, a gesture
he’d long ago come to recognize, and he patiently waited for her to
work through whatever was occupying her mind.
“What exactly are you trying to say, Daniel?”
she finally asked. Her eyes
sought his, and displayed a mixture of perplexity and something that he
couldn’t quite pinpoint.
Closing his eyes, Daniel shook his head. “That’s part of my problem
– I’m not sure.”
The sound of a chair making harsh scrapping noises against
the floor registered in Daniel’s senses. His eyes snapped open and he saw Janet
standing. Without warning she
leaned forward and firmly planted her hands, palm down, on the table.
“Well, I’m going to need a little more to go
on here,” she bit out.
While sharp, her tone also had a calm quality to it
– precise and calculated, almost icy. It was evidence enough for Daniel to
know Janet was struggling to maintain her control. ‘Why is she responding to this
so strongly?’ he wondered.
He silently studied her, looking for some clue about how to proceed,
while his brain again reviewed its stored images from the security tapes. One incident – that hadn’t
really struck him as extraordinary before – suddenly locked in his
mind, like the missing piece of a puzzle.
“It was personal this time, wasn’t
it?” Daniel couldn’t
hide the astonishment in his voice.
“I care about my patients,” Janet answered
simply, turning away to retrieve her chair. “Even though I try to maintain a
professional distance, yes, I always take it personally.”
The statement was true enough, but Daniel knew she was
trying to evade the real issue.
“No, that’s not what I mean,” he said
softly, the scene from the tape playing in his mind once more. “You told Martice that he
didn’t belong in my body and that you intended to take it back. You weren’t just fighting for a
patient, Janet, or even for a friend – you were fighting for me.”
He heard her sharp intake of breath, and watched as Janet
slowly dropped into her chair, burying her face in her hands. It was more admission than any words
could have been.
Daniel waited silently, uncertain what to do or say. The entire situation had spiraled out of
control as far as he was concerned, with no indication of how it was going to
end. When Janet finally raised
her head, she met his own cautious gaze with one he immediately recognized. It was the same look of resolve
he’d seen reflected in her eyes when she had threatened Martice. Only now it was mingled with something
else – a fervent admiration so clear that Daniel felt his breath catch
in his throat.
“When you… left us, last year,” she
began softly, “it was hard on people. Not that it surprised me. You were so close to SG-1 – they
were good friends, as well as teammates.
And you were respected by General Hammond--” a slightly
sarcastic chuckle escaped her lips.
“No, you were respected by everyone, Daniel – even those
who’d never had opportunity to work with you. And, of course, Cassie and I grieved
your loss.”
“It was never my intention to hurt anyone,”
Daniel interrupted.
“I know.
And this is not a discussion about whether your choice to ascend was
right or wrong, Daniel.
What’s done is done, and all that matters to me is that
you’re here with us now.”
He opened his mouth to comment again, but thought better
of it when Janet held up a hand.
“Like I said,” she continued, “the way
people responded didn’t surprise me. What did surprise me was that my own
reaction was far stronger than I ever imagined it would be.”
Janet paused, taking slow, steadying breaths, and Daniel
found himself leaning forward slightly, aware that he was hanging on her very
words now.
“I knew I had lost a good friend, but it felt like
more.” Janet shook her head
slightly. “Not that I think
I felt more for you than friendship – I really don’t
believe that was it at all.
But… well, the only way I know to describe it is that I felt as
if I’d lost the opportunity of something. I don’t know what it was,
exactly, but I definitely felt that I’d lost it.”
Several seconds of silence passed before Janet began
again.
“When I first heard that SG-1 had found you on Vis Uban… to be honest, I wanted to fall
apart. But I knew I’d have
to be strong if I was going to be any help in possibly finding a way to get
your memory back. So, I focused
on doing my job.” Her
shoulders went up and down in an exasperated shrug as she added, “I
guess as the days passed things just slowly began to slide into the routine
of how they’d been before.
Although I know we all walked around on pins and needles for a while,
wondering if this was some kind of crazy dream, or alternate reality, or
who-knows-what.”
“No kidding,” Daniel smiled in recollection. “It was almost as bad as the
early days, when Jack was over-protective of me during missions. Only this time, everyone was doing
it.”
“You can’t really blame us, can you?”
Janet asked, donning a smile of her own.
In light of their current conversation, Daniel knew there
was only one answer. “No, I
can’t.”
“Anyway, I suppose when the incident on the Stromos
happened, we found ourselves facing the possibility of losing you again. I know everyone was doing their part,
to try and find the solution – and if Carter and Teal’c
hadn’t convinced Pharrin…” she broke off, unable to finish.
Daniel swallowed hard, not wanting to contemplate the
possibilities either.
“All I know is that I wasn’t going to give
up,” Janet continued.
“You were right when you said it was personal, Daniel. It was very personal. And I meant exactly what I said to
Martice. I was not going to let
him, or anyone else, take you away from me again if there was anything I
could do to stop it.”
Daniel sat dumbfounded. Janet’s bold confession had
taken him aback, but it also brought a sense of clarity to something that had
been bothering him the past couple of days. Everything he’d witnessed on the
security tapes was expressed in a new light now. It all made sense.
“I had no idea you felt this way,” he finally
said.
Janet managed a slight smile, and shrugged. “That was more or less the
intention.”
He nodded.
“So, where do we go from here?”
“I don’t know,” Janet confessed. “I suppose, in a way,
that’s entirely up to you.
I can be content with our being friends – more than content,
actually, because your friendship is that important to me. And I don’t want to make a
choice that could possibly endanger that friendship if it didn’t work
out. Also, there are numerous
reasons why it could be very… awkward. Even though you aren’t
officially military, we do still work together – and I’m your
doctor, for goodness sake.”
“It sounds as if this is a familiar debate for
you,” Daniel observed.
‘Or is it more like an argument?’ he wondered, suddenly
aware that the later possibility thrilled him a little.
Janet shrugged again.
“As I said, when you were gone, I felt like I’d lost more
than just friendship. If
I’m honest with myself – and with you – then I have to
admit that even though I have you and our friendship back, I still feel like
I’ve lost something.”
She held his gaze momentarily before glancing away, retreating to her
own thoughts.
Daniel’s mind raced. Janet had obviously been thinking
about this a while, and in that respect she had the advantage. He couldn’t deny that he felt as
if he were standing at the beginning of something, some path – the fact
that simply watching those security tapes the past couple days had stirred up
some intense emotions in him was proof enough of that. But was he truly ready to take that
path? And was it worth
considering if it damaged the friendship they shared?
“Well, you’ve certainly given me a lot to
think about,” Daniel eventually managed.
“I’m sorry, if any of this has upset you in
any way,” Janet responded quickly.
She had reached across the table towards him and on
instinct Daniel moved to cover her hand with his own.
“No, no – of course it hasn’t upset
me.” He smiled sincerely at
her. “Please, don’t
ever think that.”
Daniel was pleased to see her expression soften at his
reassurance. She was visibly
drained, both from her long day at the SGC, and the emotional weight of their
recent conversation, but her eyes shone with such warmth of affection that he
found himself wondering why he’d never before noticed how lovely she
truly was.
“It’s late,” Daniel said, for lack of
anything better as he pulled both his hand and eyes away. “I should be going.”
As they rose, Daniel began to clear the table again. This time Janet did not refuse the
help. She retrieved his coat, and
they stood wordlessly in the open doorway of her front entrance.
“Thank you for the pizza,” Daniel said after a
while.
“You’re welcome. And thank you again for all you did
for Cassie tonight. She’s
right, you know – you should come by and visit with her – with us
– more often.”
Daniel held her gaze, uncertain how to respond.
“You’re always welcome here,” Janet
added more softly. “You
know that, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” he smiled. “I know.”
Daniel wasn’t sure how much longer he stood there,
before saying good night, or even of making the drive home and getting ready
for bed. And as he lay awake,
staring at the ceiling, his mind’s eye repeatedly played two separate
scenes – the recording of an indomitable Janet Frasier, promising to
take his body back from the consciousnesses that had invaded it, and the
image of the beginning of a path, leading into somewhere he could not see.
~ END ~
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