|
Suggested
Rating: for young
adult and older readers
Category: alternate universe, angst, drama,
Daniel/Janet friendship and romance
Setting: Season 8
Synopsis: The arrival of a visitor from a parallel
universe provides opportunity for Daniel to pay back what he felt was owed to
a friend – but what happens if he actually follows through?
Spoiler
Warning: Includes
projected situations for season 8, some based on revealed season 8 spoilers on Gateworld as of April
2004.
Author’s
Comments:
There’ve been rumors that Brad Wright may be penning an AU story
for season 8. Of course,
Daniel/Janet fans are hoping against all odds that this particular story just
might bring back our favorite doctor, but the idea got me thinking…
what could be a plausible scenario for Janet to really show up again in
season 8? This story is the
result of that musing. As for how
plausible it really is… well, you’ll have to decide. Oh, and I’ll warn you up front
that the medical scenario I create for this story is a little bit “out
there” – I confess to not having any detailed medical
knowledge. Realizing that what I
came up with may be entirely unrealistic, I apologize to those of you who may
be doctors or nurses. Just
willingly suspend your disbelief as much as you can. <g> Thanks to Glenda for what
little bit of medical know-how she shared with me. And thanks, as always, to my friend
and beta reader Sonia, for helping me to make this even better than it would
have been!
DISCLAIMER: All
publicly recognizable characters and places (the Stargate SG-1 stuff)
are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created
for entertainment only and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was
intended. Previously unrecognized
characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living
or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the
author.
CHOICES
- by Michelle
Lunsford (June 2004)
Colonel
Samantha Carter looked at the shimmering event horizon where her friends had
just stepped through. It had been
a few months since she’d taken command of SG-1 but she still
hadn’t adjusted to the feel
of it. Making her way up the
steps toward the platform she wondered if she’d ever completely
adjust. It had been one thing to
be responsible for her part as a member of the team and even to take charge
from time to time – but to regularly lead that team was something entirely
different. Now she felt
personally responsible for aspects she’d never considered before. What was she leading her team into
with this new mission? Would they
gain any real value from this expedition? Were those under her command still
finding fulfillment in their role now that she had taken charge?
Sighing
to herself, Carter strode through the Stargate, her body becoming immediately
transferred into energy. Within
the same instant she was transferred back into matter again, and then stepped
through the other side onto a stone platform. Automatically her eyes began scanning
the surroundings. Continuing to
survey the room she descended the hewn steps and, with a distinctive sucking
sound, the wormhole disengaged behind her.
“It
appears to be just as the MALP relay displayed,” Teal’c said, his
calm monotone echoing in the large chamber as Carter moved up beside him.
She
glanced around again, squinting at the beams of sunlight that shone from
windows cut at regular intervals along the walls. ‘Yes,’ she thought with
some disappointment, ‘just as the MALP had shown – one huge and
very empty chamber.’
“Well,”
she muttered under her breath, “so much for the possibility of this developing into an interesting morning.”
“This
is amazing!” Daniel’s
voice, full of excitement, sounded from somewhere behind her.
Carter
turned and caught a glimpse of Teal’c’s arched eyebrow
response. Smiling to herself at
the Jaffa’s
customary amusement regarding Daniel’s enthusiasm, she looked around
and spotted the archaeologist farther into the chamber. He was inspecting the walls, video
camera in hand. Her curiosity
engaged now, she walked over to see what had garnered his attention.
“What
is it?”
“A
mixture of symbols.”
Daniel’s eyes never strayed from the stone walls as he rapidly
rattled on, “There’s Ancient, Asgard, and I think this,” he
pointed to a mass of script that was unfamiliar to her, “may be some
text from the Furlings.”
“Is
it anything like what we encountered on Ernest’s planet?” Carter asked, her voice softening slightly as she recalled the
reunion of Ernest and Catherine that had resulted from that mission.
“You
mean that ‘meaning of life stuff’?” Daniel quipped, the
hint of a grin pulling at the corner of his mouth. “I’ll have to work on the translations
back at the base, but just at first glance I’d have to say this is
something different.”
Carter
nodded, not entirely certain what to make of that. “Well, record as much as you
can. Teal’c and I are going
to have a look around.”
She
rejoined the Jaffa
and they began a systematic search of the chamber. The entire place was constructed of
stone, the walls rising at least 16 or 17 feet above them. The windows Carter had noticed earlier
appeared to be the only source of light, although there were a few odd shaped
structures spaced throughout that looked as if they had once served as
torches. The Stargate sat near
one end, but there appeared to be no other entrance or exit to the room.
The
chamber was roughly rectangular in shape, with the two long walls being the
only source of the writings that so enthralled Daniel. At the far end opposite the Gate the
room did open up slightly, extending off each side into two smaller alcoves. The area to the right was bare except
for a few straw mats that looked as if they had seen entirely too much
use. However, a thick layer of
dust over both mats and floor was a fair indication that no one had used them
recently.
“Looks
like this may have served as some kind of sleeping area,” Carter
commented, kicking lightly at one of the mats with a booted foot.
“I
concur,” Teal’c replied.
“Although I admit I am at a loss as to the purpose of the
remainder of this structure.”
“Let’s
check out that other alcove, see if it reveals something more,” she
suggested, leading the way.
They
crossed the main chamber again and Carter noticed Daniel was still
preoccupied with the walls – although it did look as if he’d made
progress in his recording. The
left anteroom was slightly lower than the rest of the chamber, necessitating
a trip down a short flight of stairs.
Carter noted it was cooler at this level and much darker, since there
were no windows. She fished out
her military issue flashlight, switched it on and cast the beam around the
room. It was joined seconds later
by a beam from Teal’c’s light and Carter took advantage of the
increased visibility to study her new surroundings.
This
alcove appeared to be completely empty and as Carter continued to survey the
room she felt a distinct sigh of disappointment forming. Suddenly her light flickered across
something in one corner of the room.
“Teal’c,
point your light over here,” she instructed, focusing her own beam
directly into the corner. As he
did so the object became fully illuminated and Carter felt the skin on the
back of her neck tingle.
“Is that what I think it is?”
“I
am… unsure,” Teal’c finally replied, his own tone
reflecting a touch of disbelief.
She took
a couple of cautious steps closer to the object. It was shaped a little different, and was
probably four or five inches shorter, but otherwise it looked identical to
the one Daniel had first discovered on P3R-233.
“Could
there be two such devices in existence?” Teal’c asked.
Carter
shrugged. “I don’t
know. The existence of one was pretty phenomenal.” She took another step closer. “But after all the things
we’ve seen over the years I’m not willing to write it off as
completely impossible.”
A thought
suddenly came to mind and Carter turned her torch aside, casting the light
around the room again. “If
it is another Quantum
Mirror,” she began, “then there should be a hand-held control
device somewhere.”
A few
minutes of thorough searching produced no such device. Carter could feel that frustrating
sense of disappointment tugging at her again.
“I
suppose the last residents of this place could have taken it with
them,” she suggested into the ensuing silence.
“Or
perhaps it is hidden in a secret panel, or stored elsewhere in this
structure,” Teal’c offered.
She
nodded absently, her mind already turning in other directions. The real question was what were they
going to do about this new discovery?
General Hammond had ordered the first Mirror destroyed, and not
without good reason. And yet,
they’d never gotten a chance to really study the device. The scientist in her had always
wondered what might have been revealed from such a piece of astounding
technology.
“Well,
the Mirror will have to stay where it is for now,” she said, finally
coming to her decision.
“We’ll head back to the SGC, give a report of what we
think we’ve found, and decide what to do about it from there.”
“Very
well,” Teal’c replied, and she caught the slight movement of his
nod in the reflection from his flashlight.
She
turned toward the stairs.
‘I hope Daniel has finished his recording,’ she
thought. If not then she had the
unenviable task of having to order him away from his current source of
fascination. ‘Yeah,’
she reflected wryly, ‘sometimes being in command really stinks.’
Just as
she reached the steps Carter heard a faint whop noise, followed immediately by Teal’c’s curt,
“Colonel Carter!”
“What
is it?” she questioned, spinning around.
“I
thought I detected a flash of light from the object,” Teal’c
answered. “As if the Mirror
had been activated.”
His torch
was already focused back into the corner of the room and Carter added her own
beam. But their light merely
reflected off the mirrored surface, preventing her from actually seeing
anything. She held her breath,
straining to see and listen.
There was
a second whop, followed by an
unmistakable glimmer of light from the Mirror. And where seconds before their
flashlights had revealed nothing, a figure now stood before them. Reflexively, Carter’s weapon
came up, the muzzle of her automatic falling in line with the beam of her
flashlight.
“Don’t
shoot!” A steady voice hastily pleaded. A pair of hands – one of them
holding tightly to a control device for the Mirror – rose above the
figure’s head. Large brown
eyes blinked at the bright beams being thrown from the pair of
flashlights. “I assure you
that I come in peace and mean no harm.”
Carter’s
immediate recognition of both the figure and its voice hit her like a punch
in the gut. She stood frozen in
shock for a couple of heartbeats before military training kicked in and took
control. ‘You have to play it safe – don’t assume
anything,’ she silently ordered herself. She closed her eyes momentarily in
concentration. Not sensing any
Goa’uld presence in the figure, she breathed a sigh of relief. Then, in her best military voice, she
asked, “Who are you?”
“My
name is Doctor Janet Frasier,” the figure replied. “And I must get to this
universe’s equivalent of the command center for the Stargate program
– I must get there immediately.”
~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~
Janet
stood perfectly still, forcing her breathing into a steady rhythm. The intensity of the flashlight beams
aimed her direction prevented her from being able to see the other people in
the room, but the sound of the woman’s voice had been unmistakable.
‘Careful’,
her inner voice warned. ‘It
doesn’t necessarily mean you can trust her.’ In the few discussions about alternate
realities she’d had with her universe’s version of Samantha
Carter one thing had been made painfully clear – you could never be
certain what scenario existed in the parallel universe you encountered. As the seconds of silence continued to
tick past another thought ran through Janet’s mind. ‘And if this Sam Carter is anything at all like
my friend, then she’s probably thinking the exact same thing about me
right now.’
“Please,”
Janet finally broke the silence.
“I don’t have a lot of time.”
“One
thing at a time, Doctor Frasier,” came the
reply.
Janet
heard the clear sense of caution in Carter’s tone and fought against a
sigh of exasperation. She really
did not have time for this.
“I’ve
just come from a parallel universe,” Janet went on, purposefully
keeping her voice neutral.
“And I’m guessing that unless this is the first time
you’ve encountered a Quantum Mirror you know exactly what I’m
talking about.”
There was
no response.
“And
you’ll also know that I only have a certain amount of time before my
own life is in danger,” Janet added.
She
couldn’t be certain but it seemed as if Carter’s flashlight wavered,
ever so slightly.
“If
it’s entropic cascade failure you’re
concerned about, then don’t be,” Carter replied.
The
implication of the statement hit Janet immediately – the Doctor Frasier
in this universe was dead. But it
was the tightness in Carter’s voice that had given her the real clue.
“I’m
sorry, Sam,” Janet said softly, slowly lowering her hands. “I know she was a good
friend.”
Another
tense heartbeat passed before Carter’s beam of light lowered
completely.
“Yes,”
Sam admitted. “She was.”
Janet
released a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. For the first time since activating
the Mirror she began to believe this hadn’t been one huge mistake after
all.
“Why
have you come?” a deep voice unexpectedly questioned from her
left. Janet recognized it as
Teal’c. She also noticed he
had not yet chosen to lower his flashlight, which still prevented her from
seeing much of anything.
“Because
I need your help,” Janet answered.
“What
kind of help?” That was
Carter, and a hint of caution had returned to her tone.
Battling
a growing sense of frustration, Janet decided it was up to her to take the
next step in this delicate dance of trust. “Someone I care about very much
is dying,” she began.
“But his counterpart in this universe – if he’s
still alive – can save him.”
When no
additional questions or comments were forthcoming she decided to force their
hand. Using what she knew was her
best doctor voice, Janet leveled
her gaze in their direction and said, “Listen, this is not something I
really feel comfortable discussing at gunpoint. So either let me go, and I’ll
return through the Mirror, or take me to your Stargate facility where we can
decide what to do.”
Although
she couldn’t clearly see them, Janet stood firm and stared down the figures
she knew were opposite her.
“Okay,
we go to the Stargate,” Carter eventually declared. “Teal’c, please escort
Doctor Frasier.”
At
Carter’s command the Jaffa
lowered his flashlight. Janet
blinked. As her eyes adjusted to the
sudden dimness, she glanced around and got her first real look at the
parallel versions of her friends.
Their uniforms were identical to those used by the SGD, right down to
the arm patch insignias. All
weapons also appeared the same.
There were, however, a few changes. She’d never seen Teal’c
with hair.
“Please
come with me,” Teal’c instructed, stepping along side her.
Taking a
deep breath, she nodded once and headed up the stairs after Carter. As they reached the top and rounded
the corner, Janet wasn’t too surprised to see a chamber like the one
Daniel had described when they’d found the second Quantum Mirror in her
universe. But she wasn’t at
all prepared for the sight of the figure, squatting in the middle of that
chamber, his attention directed at something in his backpack.
“Good,
you’re finished,” Carter commented, apparently having noticed him
as well.
“Um,
actually I was just looking for another blank tape,” Daniel replied,
continuing to rummage in his bag.
“The one I was using was already mostly full from our last
mission, and I still have the entire wall along the left side of the camber
to record – ah, here we go…”
“Sorry
Daniel, but we have to return to the SGC,” Carter said as she walked
past him on her way toward the Gate.
Janet
stared ahead, aware that each step was taking her closer.
“Come
on,” Daniel appealed, standing up as he worked the blank tape into his
recorder. “Just fifteen
more minutes.”
Instead
of answering Carter simply began punching in coordinates on the DHD. Janet felt her heartbeat quicken. Just a few more steps and they’d
be right beside him.
The
wormhole engaged with it’s characteristic
swoosh.
“Okay,
five minutes then,” Daniel pleaded at Carter’s back. But she only turned and gave a
negative shake of her head.
“We
must depart immediately,” Teal’c added as they approached.
“What? Why?” Daniel inquired, spinning
around to face the Jaffa.
Without
another word they stepped past him.
Janet caught the shocked expression that fell across his face at seeing
her, heard his baffled “Janet?” a few seconds later. Following Teal’c up the steps to
the Gate, she paused long enough to glance over her shoulder. A thousand questions were reflected in
his eyes and Janet longed to stop then and there to answer every one of
them. But the Jaffa was gently pulling on her arm,
indicating it was time to go.
“We’ve
found another Quantum Mirror,” Janet heard Carter say by way of
explanation. Then she stepped
through and let the wormhole envelop her.
~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~
General
Jack O’Neill leaned back, linked his arms across his chest, and allowed
his gaze to work its way around the long briefing room table. His newest SG-1 commander was meeting
that gaze directly, but was also choosing not to reveal anything in her
expression. Not surprising,
considering both he and Carter were still adjusting to their altered roles of
leadership. Daniel was looking
vaguely his direction, but the expression on his face was one Jack had long
ago come to recognize as meaning the archaeologist’s mind was running
down any number of tangents elsewhere.
Teal’c was focused on some blank spot of wall just over
Daniel’s head. And
their… guest was very
pointedly staring at the table.
‘It’s
times like this when I really wish Hammond
was back in charge,’ Jack reflected wearily to himself. He took a deep breath, let it out
slowly. ‘Heck, at times
like this I even wish that Weir woman was back in charge.’ Shaking his head, he forged ahead.
“Let
me get this straight,” Jack began, uncrossing his arms and sitting
upright in the chair again.
“Carter and Teal’c found another Quantum Mirror while
Daniel was busy recording alien scribbles on the wall. And Doctor Frasier,” here he
paused to let his eyes fall on the woman in question. It was too strange to see her sitting
there. “—she came
through the Mirror, and you all decided to come back here to figure out what
to do about all this?”
Tension
built as everyone purposefully avoided looking at everyone else.
“Um,”
Daniel interrupted the silence, holding up a finger to make his point,
“actually, I didn’t have anything to do with the last part of
that decision.”
Jack shot
the archaeologist his best that was so
not helpful look.
“Sorry,”
Daniel murmured, his attention shifting to fiddling with the pen in his hand.
“Sir,”
Carter began, leveling her gaze at him across the table. “It was my decision to trust
Doctor Frasier, and allow her to return with us. I felt it was important to offer her
the opportunity to explain herself.”
‘I
know that’ he thought silently, holding the Colonel’s gaze. ‘And I trust your instincts,
Carter. But how much of that
decision was influenced by the fact that this is Janet here – or at least a reasonable version of
Janet?’ Glancing across the
table at the doctor Jack felt a new wave of weariness wash over him. ‘And how much will my decision be threatened by the same?’
Rubbing a
hand across his face, O’Neill took another deep breath. “Alright,” he
acquiesced. “You wanted a
chance to explain yourself, Doc – you got it.”
Jack
watched as the woman who hadn’t spoken once since their arrival finally
raised her eyes to meet his. The
same sense of fortitude and caring he’d always perceived in the Janet
Frasier he’d known was reflected in those eyes. And, except for the different
hairstyle, she looked exactly like the woman who had died just a few months
ago. He waited, noticing that she
swallowed and raised her chin slightly.
It was a perfect reproduction of the body language Jack recalled their
own Janet doing, whenever she was carefully weighing her words.
“In
my universe, on a recent mission, the members of SG-1 encountered an alien
virus and – unknown to them at the time – brought it back through
the Stargate. It was severe, but it
spread slowly and fortunately we were able to get it under control and
develop a vaccine.”
Frasier
paused, looking to him for some kind of response. Jack nodded and waved a hand,
encouraging her to continue.
“Everyone
recovered except… except for one member of the team.” Her voice faltered slightly and her
eyes momentarily flicked toward the table. “We tried everything, but for
reasons I was unable to determine the antibodies simply did not respond in
this one case.”
Jack
noted she was purposefully avoiding naming her mysterious patient. ‘Has to be some reason for
that,’ he considered.
‘And that does not
give me a very good feeling right now.’
Silence
lingered until the sound of someone clearing her throat drew Jack’s
attention toward his right.
“You
mentioned, back in the chamber, that this person’s counterpart –
in our universe – could save this particular patient,” Carter
said, her gaze settling on the woman across from her.
Janet
nodded.
“I
confess, I’m no medical doctor,” Carter continued, “but if
your antidote doesn’t work on the person there, how is the counterpart
supposed to help? Our experience
with people from parallel universes indicates that they are identical, right
down to their DNA.”
Janet’s
gaze faltered again and Jack noticed she was beginning to fidget
imperceptibly with her fingers.
‘Here it comes,’ he thought, steeling himself.
“As
I said, we were unable to determine exactly why the antidote didn’t
work in this one case. But I
believe that a blood transfusion may help to alleviate the problem, so that
the antidote will have a chance to work.”
Jack
blinked, his mind attempting to work through that. Admittedly, he was slower than the
others to comprehend these kinds of things, but he was pretty sure that based
on what Carter had just said, Frasier’s answer made no sense at all.
“I’m
sorry, but I still don’t understand,” Daniel interjected from his
end of the table. “If
everything is identical, including the DNA, then how is something like that
going to help? I mean, aren’t
you essentially proposing to replace the patient’s blood with more of
the same, identical blood?”
“In
one sense, yes,” Janet conceded.
O’Neill didn’t miss that she failed to meet Daniel’s
gaze, choosing to look at him instead.
Something about that put him on alert. “However--” she hesitated,
and Jack’s simmering sense of apprehension ratcheted up a notch. “At one point in the past he
experienced some severe physical trauma.
While he did eventually recover, there have been residual effects of
that trauma. It’s not
anything that affects his day to day life, but it does play out in other
ways, particularly at the cellular level, in his blood chemistry. It’s my belief that if his
counterpart from a parallel universe didn’t suffer from this same trauma,
then he likewise won’t have the residual effects.”
“How
could you be certain the universe you encountered would contain such a
scenario?” Teal’c questioned, turning to stare point blank at the
doctor.
“I
couldn’t,” Janet acknowledged, her eyes drifting once more to the
table. When she spoke again her
voice was so soft that O’Neill had to strain to hear. “But I hoped that even if
he’d experienced the same trauma, maybe something would be different. Even the slightest variation might
give us a chance. It was a long
shot but I… I had to try.”
‘In
other words,’ Jack mused, ‘you were desperate.’ Which meant there
was more to this story than their visitor was telling. And the more he thought about it, the
less and less Frasier’s explanation was making sense – and it
wasn’t just because he didn’t grasp all the medical nuances of
the situation. Based on what had been said, if the circumstance
were reversed, he knew he never would’ve approved such a mission for
his CMO.
Jack sighed
heavily as the revelation of his own thoughts took shape. He leaned forward slightly, fixing his
attention on the petite doctor.
“Who gave you the order to go through the Quantum Mirror?”
he quietly asked, fairly certain he already knew the answer.
Frasier’s
head snapped up and her eyes locked with his. He saw the confirmation in her
expression long before she replied.
“In my universe General Hammond is still in command of the
SGD. However, after fully
considering all the options and the implications, he decided it was not worth
the risk. So your guess is
correct, Sir. I’m not here
in any official capacity.”
She paused, long enough to take one deep breath. “In fact, my coming through the
Mirror was in direct violation of the order I was given.”
The
question begged to be asked, although he knew he was not going to like the answer. “Doctor Frasier, considering
we’re all here to determine – at least in part – whether or
not you can be trusted, I want you to be very careful in answering this next
question,” O’Neill said.
Resting both hands flat, palms down on the table, he forced his voice
to be calm and even. “Why
did you choose to disobey a direct order and come here?”
Janet’s
eyes closed and she turned away.
It appeared to Jack as if she were battling some internal demon. When she finally opened her eyes, the
doctor fixed her gaze rigidly ahead, staring right through Colonel Carter.
“Because,’
Janet answered, her voice quivering slightly, “the patient I hope to
save is my husband.”
‘This
just gets better and better,’ O’Neill thought sarcastically. The doctor was purposefully avoiding
his gaze now and he had the sudden impulse to bury his face in his hands in
the vague hope that it would make all this madness just disappear. There was another question he knew
needed to be asked now, and as before he already had a sinking feeling in the
pit of his stomach regarding the answer.
A hasty glance down the table confirmed his suspicion that he wasn’t
the only one. Daniel had gone a
shade paler than normal, his own gaze wandering anywhere except in
Janet’s direction.
“Okay,”
Jack said, fighting the urge to drum his fingers against the table. “I’m thinking we’ve
all made a pretty fair guess by now, but just to be sure, don’t you
think it’s about time you told us specifically who this patient
is?”
He had to
give her credit. This time Janet
didn’t even flinch.
“Doctor
Jackson,” she said evenly.
The
obvious strain in the room seemed to quadruple with her confession. Jack pinched the bridge of his nose
and did a mental ten-count.
“Understand that what I’m about to say is in no way meant to indicate that
I’m seriously considering offering any assistance in this crazy
scheme,” he began.
“But I want you to explain to me what exactly is involved in this
transfusion you want to do.”
“It
will need to be a direct patient to patient transfusion,” Janet slowly
turned her gaze back toward the General as she spoke. Her voice and demeanor were calm
again, as if dropping into discussion of medical details served as some type
of safety net for her.
“Therefore, if you did agree to help, then your Doctor Jackson
would have to come through the Mirror to my universe.”
Jack
grimaced. He’d been hoping,
albeit without much confidence, that maybe all Frasier needed was a couple
samples of Daniel’s blood.
‘So much for that idea,’ he reflected bitterly.
“The
procedure is simple and safe,” Janet went on. “However Doctor Jackson will
need time to recuperate afterward.”
“How
much time?” Jack inquired.
“Well,
there will need to be adequate prep time, plus time for the procedure itself,
combined with recovery - if everything goes well, we’re looking at
between 45-50 hours total.”
“What?”
Carter’s stupefaction echoed in her tone. “Daniel will be vulnerable to the
possibility of entropic cascade failure within 48 hours – possibly even
less.”
“And
what if everything doesn’t go well?” O’Neill demanded
brusquely. He hadn’t liked
the casual way Frasier had let that comment slip. No, he hadn’t liked it at all.
Her
expression reflected a hint of apology, but her voice remained even and
unrepentant. “As with any
surgical procedure, there is always risk involved. However, the danger posed to your
Doctor Jackson is minimal.”
“Um,
excuse me,” Daniel interrupted, an audible hardness in his voice. “Do you think we could stop
discussing this as if I’m suddenly not in the room?”
O’Neill
knew immediately where his friend was going to go with this – could see
it clearly in the man’s expression – and he did not want to get
into an exchange with his friend right now. “Daniel--,” he pressed in
a warning tone.
“Jack--”
the younger man fired right back at him.
The
General held up a finger in further admonishment, but as usual it did no
good.
“I
think that I deserve to have some say in this,” Daniel began, leaning
forward slightly in preparation to make some point, “and--”
Jack
hastily cut him off.
“Daniel!” He
was fairly certain that Daniel was about to make some spiel that was as
influenced by emotion as it was by reason, and he just didn’t think he
could handle it at the moment. He
fixed the archaeologist with a hard look. “I promise that I will hear you out…,” he
paused, carefully enunciating each word, “but not right now.”
Daniel
silently held his gaze, obviously seething, but eventually he nodded and
turned away.
“Sir,”
Carter began, her voice tight.
Jack cut
her off with a raised finger as well.
The tension that had been building in the room ever since this meeting
began had reached a climax, and emotions were definitely coming into play
now. What he needed – what
they all needed – was time to cool down and get some perspective
here. He knew that a leader didn’t
always have the luxury to take such time, but maybe he did have that
opportunity in this instance.
“I
have just one other question, for now,”
he said to Frasier.
“Exactly how serious is the condition of the Daniel in your
universe?”
Janet bit
at her lower lip. “He was
stable when I left, but the prognosis wasn’t good. He’d already experienced several
bouts of unconsciousness.”
Jack couldn’t be sure, but it appeared as if her eyes were
misting. “By now I’m
pretty sure he’s required at least some level of life-support.”
Jack
swallowed, hating what he had to ask next. “How long?”
Janet
shook her head.
“There’s no way to be sure. But at best…” This time, tears actually fell and her
shoulders heaved in a defeated shrug.
“Maybe two or three days.”
O’Neill
stared at the smaller woman quietly struggling to maintain her composure. He felt a prickling of compassion and,
seeing the figure that looked so much like their own
Janet Frasier, he wished there was some way to offer her a gesture of
comfort. But such an action would
probably be inadequate, not to mention highly inappropriate. Relying on his customary show them nothing and stick to responsibility defenses, he
pushed the notion aside.
“Airman,”
he nodded at one of the SFs standing at attention off to one side. “Please escort Doctor Frasier to
the VIP quarters. And see to it
that she has everything she needs.”
“Yes
Sir,” the man promptly replied.
Silently
Janet stood and followed the SF out of the room.
“Dismissed,”
Jack said, even before the echoes of their footsteps dissipated. Without another word he stood and
turned toward his office, not daring to see the expressions of doubt and
worry on the faces of his three friends.
~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~
Teal’c
made his way silently down the hall, hands clasped casually behind his
back. As he rounded the corner
and entered the familiar lab he was not at all surprised to find its occupant
half concealed among a pile of books, papers, and artifacts – and
completely lost in thought.
“Daniel
Jackson,” he greeted when the man failed to notice his presence.
“Oh,
hi Teal’c,” Daniel replied, glancing up somewhat sheepishly. “Sorry, I guess my mind was
somewhere else. What can I do for
you?”
“Actually
my purpose here is to determine if I can be of assistance to you,” the Jaffa answered,
inclining his head slightly.
Seeing the archaeologist respond with one of his typical raised
eyebrow expressions he continued, “It is my understanding that in
circumstances such as these people often feel the need to discuss the matter
with a friend.”
Daniel
ran a hand through his hair and managed a slight smile. “Thanks, Teal’c. But I have a sneaking suspicion that
the person I really need to talk to is presently under guard in the VIP
quarters.”
‘As
I suspected,’ Teal’c mused silently. ‘And likewise I suspect
you’ll require a small amount of goading to actually follow through on
that notion.’ He stepped
further into the room, retrieved a stool and sat opposite his friend. Opting to go with his customary direct
approach he met Daniel’s gaze openly and said, “Then why are you
not doing so?”
The
archaeologist blinked several times before answering. “Um, yeah, sure. It’s been just a few months
since a very good friend of mine died and now her identical twin shows up and
announces she’s married to my identical twin in their universe. So I’ll just pop down there and
ask ‘so how’s it going?’ or something equally
ridiculous.”
Teal’c
fought not to smile. He
understood full well the delicate nature of Daniel’s current dilemma,
but sometimes he really enjoyed playing the naïve and oblivious role for
the benefit of his friends.
“I
do not believe you would engage in ridiculous conversation of any kind,
Daniel Jackson, especially not in this instance.”
Daniel
sighed. “I know. Sorry. Just venting I guess.”
The Jaffa nodded as he
thought, ‘That’s why I’m here.’
“To
be honest, I’m not sure what
I’d say,” Daniel admitted.
“My gut instinct is to help her – to just go with
her. I mean, forget that
it’s my counterpart in a parallel universe – if I can help save
someone’s life, with minimal threat to my own, I should do it –
right?”
Teal’c
merely returned the young man’s gaze. He’d learned over the years that
a question wasn’t always asked because someone wanted an answer.
“But
I know what Jack is going to say,” Daniel went on. He stood and began to pace the length
of his desk. “I can
practically hear his voice in my head.
‘The risk is too high for such an unpredictable outcome –
I will not allow one of my people to be exposed like that.’” He paused, turned to look straight at
the Jaffa. “But surely I should be the one
allowed to make that call.”
“General
O’Neill has a responsibility to those under his command, both military
and civilian,” Teal’c pointed out. He knew he was playing what the Tauri
referred to as devil’s advocate,
but felt certain it was what his friend needed at the moment.
He
watched as the younger man worked his mouth in an expression of irritated
resignation. “I
know,” Daniel conceded, resuming his pacing. “But if I don’t go, and
that Daniel dies, then I have to live with always wondering if I could have
saved him.”
“As
does General O’Neill,” Teal’c said.
Daniel
halted, his gaze drifting back to the Jaffa. He sighed and nodded in acquiescence.
“Perhaps
you should not be so quick to assume O’Neill will prevent your
accompanying Doctor Frasier to her universe,” Teal’c said,
titling his head slightly.
“The thoughts and concerns you are experiencing due to the
appearance of someone who is so like our deceased friend are similarly being
experienced by O’Neill. His
judgment is being influenced by feelings resembling your own.”
Retaking
his seat Daniel reached for one of the small pieces of stone on his desk and
began absently turning it in his hands.
“That’s the real problem, isn’t it? Just seeing her… it’s like
facing the grief all over again.”
Images
and feelings washed over Teal’c in waves. “Indeed,” he agreed, his voice suddenly soft.
“And
the idea of them being married in their universe…” Daniel shook his head as the rock
continued its dance between his fingers.
“I don’t think awkward
even begins to cover it.”
Teal’c
nodded but said nothing. A new
thought occurred to him but he waited a handful of heartbeats before voicing
it.
“Perhaps
it would be beneficial to consider this from Doctor Frasier’s point of
view.”
Daniel
raised his head and met the Jaffa’s
stoic expression with a curious one.
“How so?” he asked, setting the artifact aside.
“She
described her Daniel Jackson’s condition as most serious,”
Teal’c reminded. “One
could assume that when she last saw her husband it was not a pleasant
circumstance. No doubt her
encountering you in this universe, completely healthy, encompasses its own
difficulties for her.”
“Well,
I hadn’t actually thought of it like that,” Daniel admitted.
Teal’c
watched his friend closely. The
younger man was glancing at the mass of items on his desk but his mind was
clearly traveling paths elsewhere.
The Jaffa
thought he recognized the beginnings of a familiar pattern – Daniel was
working through his own thoughts and their brief conversation had most likely
provided the impetus necessary for the archaeologist to carry through on his
original intention. If there was
one thing he had learned about Daniel Jackson it was that often all the archaeologist needed in order to become convinced
to do something was an excuse.
“I
believe your original assessment was correct,” Teal’c said,
offering a faint smile as he stood.
“It is almost eighteen-hundred. I am certain someone has seen to it
that a meal will be provided for our guest. However, it is possible she would be
more appreciative if such provision was delivered by a…” he
paused, seeking the right word.
No, this was not the same Janet Frasier they had known, but the term
still seemed applicable. “--by a friend.”
This time
the younger man actually smiled.
“Maybe you’re right, Teal’c.”
With one
final nod the Jaffa
exited the lab, leaving his friend to his task.
~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~
Carefully
balancing the two trays he’d picked up from the commissary, Daniel made
his way toward the VIP quarters.
As soon a he stepped past the turn in the hall he spotted the SF
standing guard. The young airman
gave one sharp nod of recognition at his approach.
“Um,
excuse me,” Daniel addressed the guard as casually as he could
manage. Tilting his head to
indicate the locked door he asked, “Would you mind…?”
A glimmer
of curiosity passed across the SF’s features before he managed to mask
it and quickly reply, “Of course, sir.” He swiped a security card through the
slot and rapped on the door a couple of times with his knuckles before
turning the knob.
“Thank
you,” Daniel said as he stepped past.
He
glanced into the room and saw Janet standing in front of the dresser
mirror. She was clad in the same
Air Force uniform she’d worn since stepping through the Mirror but her
lab coat had been discarded across the bed. Her hands were raised to her head and
it took Daniel a moment to figure out she was working with her hair. Her head cocked slightly and he
realized she’d caught sight of his reflection. The eyes of her image in the mirror
locked with his and a smile began at the corner of her mouth.
“I
figured you’d make your way down here to see me sooner or later,”
she said, returning her attention to the coil of hair.
Daniel
blinked, taken off guard by the bluntness of her statement. He suddenly felt unsettled and, not
for the first time, wondered if coming here hadn’t been such a good
idea. He wasn’t entirely
sure how to take her comment but even before he could contemplate how to ask
her what she meant, Janet was speaking again.
“Is
it meal time already?” she asked, pulling the last few pins from her
hair.
“Um,
yeah,” Daniel said. Taking
a deep breath he stepped farther into the room. The door closed behind him with a click that sounded inordinately loud
to his ears. Attempting to appear nonchalant he crossed the room and placed
the trays on the room’s single table.
He turned
around to see that Janet had finally completed her task. The twist of hair that had been so
perfectly wound on top of her head now fell in a cascade of brunette tresses
around her shoulders. He could
remember when their Janet had once had longer hair, but both military and
medical regulations had required she wear it off the collar. Daniel realized he’d never
really had much opportunity to see Janet with her hair down and found
himself surprised by how much it altered the appearance of the woman standing
before him. It looked thick and
soft with a healthy glow that shone in the light. It framed her face bewitchingly,
especially in the way the shorter tendrils curled about her neck. Several seconds of silence passed
before he became aware that he was openly staring at her. Shoving his hands in his pockets he
quickly glanced away.
“I’ve
been feeling a slight headache coming on,” she said. Her voice was soft, almost apologetic,
and Daniel found his gaze being drawn back to her. She gave a half-shrug before adding,
“I thought it might help to let it down for a while.”
“Oh,”
Daniel replied, continuing to fight his growing sense of unease. “Um, I can get you something
from the infirmary, for the headache I mean.”
Janet
shook her head lightly.
“No, that’s okay.
It’s not too bad – probably just the tension caused by all
this stress.”
An odd
sort of smile passed her lips then, almost as if she was sharing a joke with
herself. Something in the
reaction struck Daniel as being significant, although he couldn’t for
the life of him imagine what it might mean.
“Well,
I’m starving,” Janet said, suddenly changing the subject. She took a couple of steps toward the
table, closing the distance between them. “Although I don’t think
I’m quite that hungry,”
she said, an obvious trace of amusement coloring her tone as she waved a hand
at the duo of trays on the table.
“Oh,
I-- I thought that maybe-- that is, perhaps--” Daniel worked his mouth
in irritation at his own faltering before finally admitting with a shrug,
“I thought you might like some company.”
The smile
that had flashed earlier revealed itself again. “I’d like that very
much.”
He
continued to stand there, feeling decidedly uncomfortable – a sensation
that was not helped in the least when Janet purposefully crossed her arms and
silently scrutinized him.
“I’m
making you uncomfortable,” she said at last.
“No,
no, no,” he answered hastily, but upon seeing her respond with one
arched eyebrow he amended, “Well, maybe just a little.”
Janet
frowned slightly and looked away.
“I’m sorry.
That’s not my intention.”
“I
know,” Daniel reassured, taking a step towards her. As her eyes sought his again he
searched for some way to explain what he was feeling. “It’s just that the Janet
I knew... she was a friend – a very dear friend. But there was nothing else between
us.”
She
nodded. “I see.”
“And
it hasn’t been that long…” he paused, waiting for the
familiar sting of grief to subside.
“It’s been less than four months since she died.”
A look of
compassion so sincere fell across her face then that Daniel felt as if his
heart skipped a beat.
“I
had no idea it was so recent,” she said, her voice almost
reverent. She reached out and
tenderly laid a hand on his arm.
“Oh Daniel, I am so sorry.”
He
didn’t understand why, but something about the way she spoke his name
was unlike he’d ever heard it uttered before. And as she held his gaze Daniel was
again struck by the earnestness of her expression. He was still experiencing a sense of
discomfort being near her but for the first time since this bizarre business
had started he thought he caught an inkling of why his counterpart had chosen
this woman as his wife.
“Thank
you,” he said, offering a slight smile.
Janet
dropped her hand and stepped away, her attention turning toward the meal
trays as she sat down.
“Actually that explains something.”
Grateful
she’d chosen to shift the conversation once again Daniel took the seat
across from her and asked, “What’s that?”
“I
haven’t had any visitors since I was brought to these quarters,”
she replied. “Well, except for
your Doctor Smith. But she only
came at General O’Neill’s request.”
“Let
me guess,” Daniel began.
“He wanted to get a second opinion?”
“Something
like that,” she said, taking a knife and fork
to her meal.
Daniel
nodded. He really hadn’t
expected any less from Jack.
“What did Doctor Smith say?”
“She
agreed with my assessment that the risk of the procedure itself is
minimal. But weighed against the
threat of entropic cascade failure, and in light of the improbability that a
transfusion will actually make a difference, she didn’t believe it was
advisable to actually agree to the procedure.”
He
considered that for a moment.
“Is it really that far-fetched, your idea about the
transfusion?”
She
glanced up and steadily returned his gaze. “You mean how desperate am
I?”
He opened
his mouth to contradict her interpretation but she quickly waved away his
protest.
“It’s
okay. You don’t have to
deny it, or apologize for it. The
truth is that it is a pretty
far-fetched idea.
But…” she hesitated, pushing with her fork at one of the
vegetables on her plate.
“It’s not completely outside the realm of
possibility. And when you love
someone as much as I love him...”
‘You’d
do anything to save him,’ he thought silently. It was certainly a sentiment he understood.
“I’m
sorry,” she muttered, reaching for her glass of water.
“It’s
okay,” Daniel assured. He
searched for some way to redirect the discussion and latched onto something
she’d said before.
“You mentioned not having any visitors – how exactly is that
explained by our Doctor Frasier’s death occurring so recently?”
“Well,
I just kept getting the feeling that people were purposefully avoiding
me,” she explained, having regained her composure. “I mean, I anticipated there
being some sense of walking on eggshells, because of the whole alternate
reality thing, but nothing of this magnitude. Now I understand that people are
keeping their distance because the grief is still so distinct.”
Daniel
nodded. That certainly made
sense. After all, it was part of
the litany of excuses he’d given himself for avoiding to see her until
now. Still the idea that
she’d been sequestered here all day, without anyone even dropping by to
see if she was okay, rankled his sensibilities.
“Well,
I’m sorry no one else has come to see you,” he said sincerely.
She
smiled in reply, the action once again leaving Daniel with a slight feeling
of unease. But it passed more
quickly this time. They ate in
companionable silence as the seconds ticked past.
“Daniel,”
Janet began after a while, her voice a little hesitant. “There’s something
I’d like to ask you.”
Daniel
paused, his fork halted in mid-air.
His mind raced as he considered the myriad questions she might pose,
as well as the difficulty he’d undoubtedly experience in attempting to
answer. But this was part of the
reason he’d come – so they could talk. Taking a
steadying breath he raised the bite of food to his mouth and slowly nodded.
“I
know this won’t be easy for you,” she said softly, “and I’ll
understand if you don’t want to tell me. But… I’d like to know how
she died.”
Once
she’d finally asked, the request didn’t surprise him at all. In fact, he’d expected it to
come up sooner or later.
“It
was in the line of duty,” he began. “SG-13 had been on a survey
mission to P3X-666 when they fell under attack. One of the airmen was wounded and
couldn’t be moved so SG-1 and a medical team were sent to retrieve
them.”
“And
Doctor Frasier was sent as part of the medical team?” she asked.
Daniel nodded.
Janet
blinked in mild surprise.
“The airman’s condition must have been pretty severe if it
required the attention of your CMO.”
“Yes,”
Daniel agreed. “And
I’m sure that if it hadn’t been for Janet, Airman Wells would not
be alive today.” He shook
his head, unable to keep the hint of smile from escaping despite the painful
nature of the memory. “She
was absolutely amazing,” he said, his tone full of awe.
Janet
leaned forward slightly, purposefully meeting his gaze. “You were with her when it happened?”
Swallowing
against the familiar ache he nodded again. He reached for his glass of water and
took a drink, allowing his thoughts time to refocus. He went on to explain how Janet had
treated the man’s wound even as the firefight went on around them. He told of how he’d attempted to
help by keeping Well’s attention fixed on staying alive. And finally he spoke of how the entire
ordeal had managed to be recorded on his videotape.
“I’d
just about given up hope for Wells,” Daniel admitted, grimacing
slightly as the images replayed through his mind. “And I almost gave in and shut
off the video… but then Janet was there, her face mere inches from
Well’s face. She fairly
ordered him to stay alive, telling him she hadn’t come all the way out
there just so he could die.”
He
noticed Janet was listening intently now, her meal tray pushed aside and
completely forgotten.
“The
staff blast came out of nowhere,” he said, his voice surprisingly
calm. “It was…”
he swallowed, collecting himself.
“It happened instantly.”
Stillness
settled in the room then. Janet
continued to stare at him, and her eyes were misted with unshed tears. Daniel couldn’t shake the
feeling that some unspoken communication was suddenly passing between them,
but oddly enough this time the sensation was not in any way awkward or
uncomfortable. It dawned on him
then that this was the first time since their Janet’s death that
he’d spoken openly about it.
And somehow he doubted that the experience would have been as
cathartic if he’d spoken to anyone other than the woman sitting across
from him now.
Janet
broke the silence first, her voice soft and warm. “Thank you for sharing that with
me.”
“You’re
welcome.”
“And
thank you for… I mean, if it had to happen, then I’m glad you
were the one there with her,” she added.
Daniel
looked at her quizzically.
“The
two of you may have been just good friends in this particular reality, but if
your Janet was even slightly like me then I know that your being there by her
side was far more important to her than she ever would have said.”
The
acknowledgment was bold but Daniel couldn’t deny the truth of it. Unsure how to respond he simply
glanced away.
“I
miss her.” The confession
was out of his mouth before he’d even consciously processed the
thought, and guiltily his eyes snapped back toward her face. But there was no condemnation in the
pools of brown that gazed back at him.
Janet
smiled affectionately and reached across the table to give his hand a
reassuring squeeze. “I know
you do, Daniel. I know.”
He
experienced the same impression as the previous time she’d spoken his
name but this time he was able to guess the reason. ‘It’s as if everything she
feels for him, all the love she has for him, gets revealed in that one word
every time she says it,’ he thought. And it didn’t matter that he was
a different Daniel, because she’d done it so often and for so long that
it probably happened unconsciously.
He
wondered, as he’d done several times already since this woman had
stepped into his world, just what had been different in their universe that
had resulted in their circumstances being so different from his own.
“Now,”
Janet said, pulling her hand away.
“After you’ve been so gracious to answer my question
it’s only fair I answer one of yours.”
Daniel
blinked, feeling as if she’d suddenly read his mind.
Her
features quirked in an amused expression as she added,
“Come on. I know
you’ve got questions. So go
ahead and pick one.”
Prudence was
telling him that he should probably ask something else, and he did indeed
have plenty of questions he could choose. But curiosity had always been his
weakness.
He linked
his arms across his chest and leaned forward over the table. “How did you two get
together?”
If the
question caught her by surprise, she didn’t show it. “Well, it certainly didn’t
happen all at once.”
Daniel
waited quietly, allowing her time to gather her thoughts.
Leaning
back in her chair, Janet took a deep breath and began. “We first met when I officially
came on staff at the SGD. As the
CMO I studied everyone’s files, and began seeing all personnel for
routine physicals and pre-mission checks. The first time I saw Daniel was when
SG-1 came in for their check up before going on a mission.” She smiled in recollection. “I remember he needed a booster
shot for his allergies, and I noted that we took the same medication. As it turns out, those antihistamines
were the key to saving the people they’d later encounter on that mission.”
“Tupelo and the Land of Light?”
Daniel interrupted.
“Yes.” She blinked. “How did you know?”
“That
was our first mission after our Janet was placed here as CMO,” he
replied, wondering just how many of the events from their parallel universes
were going to coincide in this story.
“Oh,”
Janet said. “I guess there
are going to be some things in common between your reality and mine over the
past seven years.”
Daniel
nodded. “I was just
thinking the same thing.”
She went
on. “Over time we became good
friends and I very much enjoyed our relationship. And even after Sha’re, his first
wife, died… well, I never anticipated or even wished that there could
be something more between us. But
that all changed after the first incident with Osiris.”
Reflexively
Daniel straightened in his chair.
That was a name he recognized all too well. But this time he chose not to
interrupt and simply nodded, encouraging her to go on.
Janet
explained about the death of Daniel’s professor, and their later
discovery that one of his former colleagues had been taken as a host by
Osiris when the stasis jar had been opened. They’d tracked Osiris to Egypt, and on Hammond’s order Janet had accompanied
Daniel and Carter there.
“It
came down to a confrontation,” Janet went on. “The tranquilizer we’d
developed from the liquid in the stasis jar proved to be ineffective. Carter had been knocked unconscious
and Osiris took me as a hostage.
Daniel was forced to shoot him in order to save my life.”
Daniel
paled slightly, not quite certain he’d heard correctly. “You mean Daniel actually killed
Sarah?”
Janet’s
features crinkled in confusion.
“Sarah? No, not
Sarah. Actually Osiris had
already killed Sarah, in another so-called accident, before leaving the
States.”
“Then
who…” Daniel murmured, thoroughly confused now. Suddenly the answer dawned on
him. “In your reality
Osiris must have taken Steven as a host.”
“Yes,”
Janet confirmed. “And
although there had been some bad history between Daniel and Doctor Raynor,
Daniel still took the man’s death pretty hard.”
‘Understandably
so,’ Daniel mused to himself.
‘Especially if he was the one who’d pulled the trigger
killing the man.’
“At
the same time I had this immense sense of gratitude to Daniel for saving my
life.” She shrugged. “I guess in the end the
situation just threw us together.
We talked about it a lot.
And out of all those discussions I found myself seeing him in a
totally different light. It
wasn’t long before I realized I’d developed feelings for him
– feelings that clearly went beyond friendship.”
It was
plausible enough, he reflected.
As Janet paused to take a drink he found himself wondering how he
would have responded if the situation had played out that way in his reality.
“In
hindsight, I think Daniel’s feelings toward me were beginning to change
as well.” Janet picked up
her tale again. “But
– as we came to discuss this later in our relationship – it
wasn’t quite the same for him.
Or at least the realization of those feelings didn’t come until
later. And so at the time I
convinced myself that he still felt only friendship and therefore chose to
keep my feelings hidden.”
That
struck Daniel as interesting, and it suddenly occurred to him that if this
particular Janet Frasier had chosen to respond as she had, then just maybe
the Janet he had known could have done the same. It had been one thing to face the
concept of this alternate reality version of Janet being in love with his
counterpart, but the idea that his reality version of Janet could have
possibly felt the same was something of a shock.
His mouth
went instantly dry and he reached for his own glass, a little surprised to
find his hands weren’t shaking.
The glass was still half full but he drained it in one gulp.
“Are
you okay?” Janet’s tone reflected concern as she eyed him
carefully.
“Yeah,”
Daniel said, setting the glass aside and wishing he’d thought to bring
an extra pitcher of water.
“Just a little thirsty.
Please,’ he said, waving a hand at her. “Go on with your story.”
She
studied him a few seconds longer, but he was relieved when she didn’t
seem inclined to press the matter.
“So,
things went on pretty much as they’d been before,” she said. “And I guess I might never have
said anything to him at all if it hadn’t been for the incident on Kelowna.”
“The
Naquadriah experiment?” Daniel asked, although he’d pretty much
guessed the answer.
Janet
nodded. Her eyes closed and
Daniel wondered if she was momentarily reliving that horrible nightmare. “The radiation exposure was so
severe,” she said, her eyes opening to lock with his again. “Faced with the reality that he
was going to die, I just couldn’t bear the thought of him not knowing how
I really felt.”
Even in the end, she didn’t
want to let me go. The words he’d spoken to that
journalist, Bregmen, just before giving him the videotape echoed in his
mind. Again Daniel was struck by
the possibility of the Janet he’d known having feelings for him. ‘Could she have?’ he
wondered. ‘And if she did,
why didn’t she ever say anything?
What choices did she make that resulted in her life being so different
from the Janet sitting across from me?’
He
noticed she had glanced away, temporarily retreating to her private thoughts
again. When she finally met his
gaze the look he saw reflected there was so intense that it cut straight to
his heart.
“So
I told him I loved him, and that’s what changed everything for
us,” she said, her voice full of emotion. “He explained to me some time
later that it was my confession that gave him the will to fight to live. He told me that Oma Desala, a being
he’d encountered previously, had come and offered him the opportunity
to ascend…”
“And
he was going to,” Daniel finished the thought for her. “But in the end, he decided to
stay for you.”
Janet
nodded, a tiny smile of obvious affection curving on her lips. But then her brow puckered slightly in
puzzlement. “So what was
your reason? Why did you decide
to stay?”
He sighed
heavily. “Actually I
didn’t. I chose ascension.”
The
slight puzzlement morphed into full blown confusion. “But… you’re here
now?”
Shaking
his head Daniel managed a somewhat wry smile. “It seems that being ascended
wasn’t quite all I’d anticipated it would be. I made some decisions while in that
state that resulted in my being outcast.
And as part of the punishment, my memories were taken away.”
Her eyes
widened. “That’s
horrible,” she gasped.
“Fortunately
it was mostly temporary,” he assured. “While I’ve not been able
to remember much, if anything, of when I was actually ascended, I have
recovered almost all of my other memories now.”
Janet
nodded, visibly relieved.
“Well, that’s just…” she paused, seemingly
uncertain what she wanted to say.
“Isn’t it interesting how the choices we’ve made
have affected the outcome of our lives?” she finally questioned.
“Yes,”
Daniel answered. “Yes it
is.”
They fell
into silence then, each traveling their own thoughts. There was much more Daniel wanted to talk
about, but their food had been finished for some time and he figured he
should be going. He was just
considering gathering up the meal trays when Janet suddenly reached out and
grabbed his hand.
“Wait
a minute!” she exclaimed, her voice slightly breathless. “That’s it!”
Daniel’s
eyebrows arched in perplexity as he gazed back at her. “What?”
“In
each parallel universe, both you and my husband were exposed to the
Naquadriah radiation on Kelowna. In my reality Daniel chose to live,
and with the help of Jacob he eventually recovered.”
“Okay,”
Daniel said, trying to follow.
“Don’t
you see?” she went on, her tone still laced with excitement. “That’s the traumatic
event I referred to in the briefing with General O’Neill. While my Daniel did recover, it
literally took months and was not without side effects. Although today he’s healthy and
leads a normal life, there were residual effects of both the radiation
poisoning and the recovery. Jacob
had to use the healing device several times.”
Her logic
was beginning to make sense to him now.
“But I was healed by being ascended,” Daniel said. “You’re right. It could be the variation you were
looking for.”
“Exactly!”
Her mood
was contagious and Daniel realized he was grinning back at her with equal enthusiasm. Unexpectedly he became aware that
Janet had not removed her hand from his.
In fact, in the fervor of their recent exchange they had somehow
managed to intertwine fingers without being consciously aware of it. Automatically his eyes locked with
Janet’s and he knew that she’d come to the same realization.
Rationally
he knew that what happened next was only within the span of a second or
two. Yet in that instance it
seemed as if they remained there, simply gazing at one another in
timelessness. He noted how small
and soft her hand was in his own, and the warmth of her skin against
his. Her eyes seemed to reflect
an unfathomable depth of emotion, and while he knew with every bit of reason
that those feelings he perceived were on behalf of some other Daniel Jackson
he couldn’t help wishing that, at least in part, they had been meant
for him instead.
They
slowly released hands and Daniel struggled to find his voice.
“You’ll,
um… I guess you’ll want to speak with Doctor Smith.”
Janet
nodded, not quite meeting his gaze.
“Actually all I’ll need to confirm this is to see a report
of your most recent blood work.
But yes, I’m sure it would be best to discuss the matter with
Doctor Smith as well.”
They
stood and Daniel felt as if the tension now was far more unbearable than when
he’d first stepped into the room.
Seeking a distraction he began gathering the meal trays.
“I’ll
take care of this, and then go by the infirmary,” he said.
“Thank
you,” Janet replied. Her tone
was even, but as Daniel turned to her again he saw her manner remained
edgy. Apparently even his casual
gaze was too much for her because she eventually turned away.
Daniel
managed to balance the trays on one arm so that he could reach for the doorknob. He opened the door and, although
unsure what he might say, glanced back once more into the room. Janet had returned to the dresser and
was beginning to wind her hair back up into its military style. His image was reflected in the mirror,
as it had been when he’d entered, but this time she was pointedly
avoiding looking at it. Realizing
there wasn’t anything else to say, Daniel sighed and stepped through
the doorway. The door closed
behind him with an almost imperceptible click
and he walked away, the SF guard staring heedlessly behind him.
~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~
Janet
eased back against the mound of pillows and sighed. ‘Yes, a little nap will do me
wonders,’ she thought. And
yet, she seriously doubted sleep would come – at best she might get a
few minutes of rest. Sighing
again she shifted into a slightly more comfortable position. A glance at the clock told her it was
nearing twenty-two-thirty.
‘You should’ve had the good sense to change into the
nightgown you know is available for you in the dresser drawer and actually
gotten into bed,’ she scolded
herself. But the hope that
perhaps she’d have word of a decision soon had prompted her to remain
in uniform and simply recline on top of the bed covers instead.
She
closed her eyes and her mind began to play over events of the past few
hours. As she’d suspected
the most recent report of the blood work on this reality’s Doctor
Jackson had shown a tiny variation compared to her Daniel. It wasn’t anything significant,
but it was still there. ‘It
will have to be enough,’ her inner voice whispered. But she knew convincing herself was a
lot easier than convincing General O’Neill.
She
didn’t blame the man. How
could she? He was so much like
the O’Neill she’d come to know and respect in her own
reality. Both men put the safety
of the team as first priority, and now that this O’Neill was actually
in command of the entire facility that protectiveness had taken on even
greater significance. She smiled
to herself. ‘General O’Neill,’ she
mused. ‘Just wait until I
get back and tell Daniel about that.’
Thinking
of her husband was second nature, but in this instance it only brought a
fresh wave of pain. ‘Please
don’t let him be dead,’ she silently prayed. ‘Let him hang on, until I return
with help.’
If you can return with help, the silence seemed to mock in
reply.
Janet
felt the familiar burning in her throat, the
dampness in the corners of her eyes, and angrily bit back the tears. “It’s not over yet,”
she said aloud, although there was no one to hear her. Both Doctor Smith and this
reality’s Daniel would be speaking with O’Neill right now. ‘Not yet,’ she repeated to
herself.
It had
surprised her a little that Daniel had also come
along when Doctor Smith arrived earlier to discuss the blood work
report. She’d expected that
after the somewhat strained moment they’d shared – when she
realized she’d actually been holding
his hand – Daniel would have preferred to keep his distance for a
while. That’s certainly how
her Daniel would have responded in
a situation like that.
Rolling
onto her back Janet opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. ‘This whole thing is just too
strange,’ she admitted. In
some ways, this Daniel was a perfect duplicate of the man she’d
married. They looked alike,
exhibited all the same mannerisms and tone of voice, and while the uniforms
naturally meant they dressed the same, Janet was pretty sure that if she had
a look at this Daniel’s civilian wardrobe it would be much like what
hung at home in her bedroom closet.
‘He even smells the same,’ she thought, remembering how
she’d caught the barest hint of his aftershave when he’d first
come in the room earlier that night.
But this
Daniel was not an identical twin of
her husband, and while she’d been somewhat prepared for the
similarities between them she was finding the differences to be a bit more
difficult to reconcile.
‘That’s your real
problem, isn’t it Janet?’ her inner voice chided. She brought a hand to her forehead,
attempting to rub away some of the tension. ‘Of course,’ she answered
back, not daring to deny the truth.
When
she’d decided to disobey Hammond’s
order and come through the Mirror one of the things she’d anticipated
was experiencing a certain level of attraction for this alternate version of
Doctor Jackson. She’d
certainly considered her Daniel to be handsome and intelligent, even before
falling in love with him. It
seemed only natural, in her way of thinking, that when she encountered
another man in a different reality who was so much like her own husband that
some of those same feelings would come to the surface. But, to her surprise, it wasn’t
the resemblances that were stirring her emotions, but rather those slight
discrepancies that she was detecting.
Janet stopped
rubbing her temple and let her arm fall lightly across her stomach. The more cautious, level-headed side
of her persona warned that she probably shouldn’t even be entertaining
these kinds of thoughts. But the
more inquisitive sense – the part that sometimes made her a better
doctor – urged her to keep right on entertaining.
‘This
is ridiculous,’ she reflected, even as her thoughts turned again to the
visit Smith and Daniel had recently made. Only having the report of the one
Daniel at her disposal, Doctor Smith had taken Janet’s word that there
were indeed variations in the blood of the two men. But it did little to sway her
assessment that the whole transfusion idea was not worth attempting. Although she would report this new
information to the General, she was not going to alter her
recommendation. As soon as Doctor
Smith had stepped out of the room, Daniel had turned to Janet and promised
that he would also speak with Jack.
‘Well
Daniel,’ she thought grimly, ‘I do hope that unyielding persuasiveness
is one of the things you do have in common with my husband, because right now
I need you to convince your General to agree to this.’ She rubbed her stomach and sighed. ‘Yes, he simply has to.’
~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~
As Doctor
Smith made her exit Jack wondered just how far she would get before the man
still standing in his office would explode.
The door
shut with a dull thunk and
he’d barely ticked off a count of one before Daniel adamantly declared,
“Jack, you have to let me go.”
The
General grimaced slightly but he knew there was no avoiding this. He’d promised to hear Daniel out
and the time had finally come.
“Even
though I happen to agree with Smith’s assessment?” he asked
calmly, crossing his arms as he leaned back slightly in his chair. “Even though I think it’s
too much of a risk, considering what we know – never mind the things we
don’t know?”
“What
don’t we know?” Daniel demanded, throwing his hands in the
air. “She’s told us
everything – everything about the situation, everything about the
procedure she wants to conduct, everything about the danger to me.”
“Yes,”
O’Neill nodded. “And
if I knew that I could trust her without any doubt whatsoever then I might be
willing to look at this differently.”
“Trust
her?” Daniel looked at him incredulously. Planting his palms on the
General’s desk he leaned forward and asked, “Excuse me, are we
talking about the same person here?”
Jack
sighed. He’d had a feeling
this was going to be part of the problem and dreaded where this conversation
was likely to go next. But
he’d learned a long time ago that beating around the bush – a
tactic he wasn’t too skilled at in the first place – never worked
well with Daniel.
Unfolding
his arms Jack also leaned forward and met the archaeologist’s gaze
directly. “Daniel, I don’t care what she looks like or what she
sounds like, the woman currently in our VIP quarters is not Janet Frasier – at least not the Janet we knew.”
He was
prepared for Daniel to stand there and silently fume at him, or else go off
into a lengthy verbal tirade. But
when his friend suddenly slumped into one of the chairs, his eyes clamped
shut, Jack knew that it was worse than he’d anticipated.
“Don’t
you think I know that?” Daniel’s voice was raw, and when he opened
his eyes Jack recognized the look.
It was the same expression he’d seen each and every time the man
lost someone he’d cared about.
O’Neill
shook his head slightly.
“Daniel, I miss her too.
But part of my job is to look at things from every possible angle
– even the ones that aren’t so nice. I have to consider the possibility
that this Janet is not exactly as she appears.”
Daniel
just stared back at him.
“I
know Carter didn’t sense a Goa’uld presence,” Jack went
on. “But what if this Janet
somehow works for the enemy in her reality? Heck, how do we even know the
Goa’uld are
the enemy in their world?”
“Don’t
you think that’s a bit of a stretch?” Daniel retorted, some of
his original ire returning.
“Maybe
so,” he admitted.
“But not so far of a stretch that I can dismiss it
entirely. What I’m trying
to say is there’s any number of things that could go wrong if you went
through that Mirror.”
Daniel
didn’t even flinch.
“That doesn’t change the fact that there’s another
human being out there who needs our help.”
“We
don’t know for sure that this transfusion will actually make a
difference,” Jack pointed out.
“But
we do know he’ll die if we don’t even bother to try,”
Daniel persisted.
O’Neill
ran a hand through his hair, wondering how in the world this crazy geek
sitting across from him always managed to get right under his skin. ‘Because he’s your
friend,’ he reflected silently, ‘and he’s been there for
you more times than you can count.
All he really wants is for you to do the same for him right
now.’
“Listen
Jack,” Daniel said, straightening slightly in his seat. “I understand what you’re
trying to say, I honestly do. And
I know you have a responsibility to consider my safety, not to mention how
that could affect the overall safety of this entire base if something really
did go wrong.”
O’Neill
nodded, although the acknowledgement didn’t make him feel any better in
the least.
Daniel
went on. “Jack, I owe her
– our Janet. She gave of
herself, in so many ways, to me – to everyone. We all owed her more than we could
ever repay. And I know that this
other Janet is not the same person that we lost. But still…” He shrugged. “I just feel like this is a way
I can pay back part of that debt.”
Jack
propped his elbows on the table, clasped his hands together and rested his
chin on them. “Daniel, what
happens if something goes wrong?
What if something happens during the transfusion, and you end up having
to be there far longer than Frasier anticipates? What happens when that cascade failure
thing kicks in?”
The
younger man shrugged again.
“I’m willing to take that chance.”
Daniel
fixed him with a hard look then and O’Neill reflexively steeled
himself. He knew it was coming
– that persuasive catch that he was somehow going to be completely
unable to fight.
“Jack,
I know how it feels to lose a spouse.”
He knew
Daniel was purposefully avoiding stating the obvious – that he knew
exactly how that felt too.
The
archaeologist sighed. “I
just don’t want this Janet to have to face that.”
Jack
leaned back in the chair again, absently flexing and relaxing his fists. There was one final trump card he
could play, and on impulse he decided to go for it.
“Just
tell me one thing,” Jack said, fixing him with a hard look of his
own. “If I give you a
direct order not to go, will you
comply?”
He could
tell the younger man was considering it, and considering it carefully. But when Daniel finally answered there
was no trace of dishonesty at all.
“I
won’t like it,” Daniel admitted. “But yes, I’ll
comply.”
Jack
nodded, unsure whether he should be relieved or not. Daniel hadn’t always chosen to
be so obedient when they’d all served on SG-1, and this was the first
time since becoming CO of the base that he’d felt the need to test his
friend in this manner. But in
answering as he did Daniel had actually given the final push Jack felt he
needed to be able to make the call.
“I’m
going to allow you to go with her,” Jack said at last. Daniel’s eyes widened slightly
as his eyebrows peaked, but before he could speak Jack cut in with,
“But there are going to be certain conditions.”
“Such
as…?” Daniel asked.
“I’m
going to have the Mirror brought here to the base. I would prefer if we could also have
one of those hand-held control things, so the next time you talk to Frasier
see if she knows anything about where they found the one in her reality. And whether we can find our own or
not, I want the one she has left here with us. And the Mirror is to be left on until you get back.”
Jack
almost expected Daniel to argue the hand-held control issue, but all he did
was nod.
“I’d
also like to be able to send someone with you,” O’Neill
continued. Daniel opened his
mouth and Jack held up a hand to stall the obvious protest. “However, since Frasier’s
coming here was in violation of a direct order, when she goes back
she’s going to be in pretty hot water as it is. I don’t want to make matters
worse by sending any extra visitors.
Instead I’m going to have someone on guard – probably
Teal’c – on our side of the Mirror at all times.”
Finished
with his list of requirements, Jack gazed steadily at the man sitting across
from him and waited for the reaction.
“That’s
it?” Daniel asked, as if he’d somehow expected there to be at
least one more, totally unreasonable stipulation.
Jack
paused for several seconds before answering, and when he spoke his tone was
lacking its typical edge.
“Just be careful.”
“I
will,” Daniel replied, holding the older man’s gaze.
“I
guess you’d like to tell Doctor Frasier the good news?”
Daniel
nodded.
“Okay. But let her know that no one is going
anywhere until that Mirror is brought here.” He glanced at his watch and did a
mental checklist of all SG teams.
SG-16 was currently on standby.
He should be able to assign that task to them. “I wouldn’t plan on
anything before mid-morning tomorrow at the earliest.”
“Right,”
Daniel replied. “I’ll
let her know.”
He stood
to leave and O’Neill turned to the preparations he’d need to make
to get this mission rolling. He
was already well into formulating a pre-operation outline in his head when
the sound of Daniel’s voice drew his attention back.
“Jack,”
Daniel called from where he stood, paused at the door. His entire manner was practically
oozing gratitude as he added, “Thank you.”
O’Neill
nodded and casually waved the man away.
But his eyes lingered on the empty doorway long after his friend had
gone. ‘Just don’t
make me regret it, Daniel,’ he silently mused.
~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~
As Daniel
made his way down the corridor it crossed his mind that if he’d gotten
a strange look from the SF earlier when he’d shown up bearing two meal
trays, showing up at well past eleven o’clock at night was likely going
to make him a topic of the local gossip mill. But he didn’t care. When he’d left Janet with the
promise that he’d speak to Jack, she had asked him to come back and
give her the news, regardless of the time.
Rounding the
corner he saw it was indeed the same SF, but this time the guard anticipated
his request and had already swiped his security card by the time Daniel
reached the door. He knocked
once, pushed the door partially open, and peered inside.
“Doctor
Frasier?” Daniel called softly.
“It’s
okay, I’m awake,” a voice answered. Then a lamp flickered on and Daniel
saw her, lying on top of the bed and propped up on one elbow. She motioned him inside.
“I’ve
got good news,” he said, gently closing the door behind him.
He
noticed Janet was sitting up now, leaning back against a mound of pillows
she’d constructed. He
considered pulling a chair over, but then thought better of it. There was plenty of room on the edge
of the huge VIP bed.
“What
is it?” she asked as he sat on the bottom corner of the bed.
“Jack’s
agreed to let me go with you.”
She
didn’t answer, but simply bit at her lower lip and nodded.
“There
are a few stipulations, however,” Daniel said. He explained Jack’s detailed
requirements one by one, each time noting her reaction. He’d expected her to be happy
about the overall situation – and by all accounts it appeared she
was. But she also seemed to be
growing more and more subdued as he went on.
“Jack’s
just being cautious, you understand,” Daniel commented after he’d
finished. “None of
it’s terribly unreasonable.”
“No,
of course not,” Janet agreed.
She drew her legs up and threw her arms around her knees. “It’s wonderful news,
really. I’m glad you came
to tell me.”
He eyed
her carefully. “Then why do
I have a sneaking feeling that something’s bothering you?”
She shook
her head, not quite meeting his gaze.
“I’m sorry.
I’m just tired.”
She paused, distractedly tracing the pattern of the bed’s
comforter with her finger before finally admitting, “And I guess
I’m suddenly feeling a little guilty.”
Confused
by her confession Daniel felt his eyebrows automatically rise. “Guilty? Guilty about what?”
She kept
her eyes averted for several seconds before eventually taking a deep breath
and raising her face to look at him.
“I’ve been rather selfish in all of this,” she said
softly. “I had no right to
come here, to ask you to consider doing all this, to--” she broke off
abruptly, glancing away again.
“Hey,
it’s okay,” Daniel soothed.
He slid a little closer, reached out and gently touched her arm. When she still failed to look at him
he lowered his head, purposefully trying to catch her eye. “Please don’t think that
way. I want to do this,
Janet. I want to help you.”
When she
finally met his gaze Daniel noticed that she was fighting back tears.
“Wait
a minute – none of that now,” he gently teased, offering an
encouraging smile. “I came
bearing good news, remember?”
A light
chuckle escaped her lips and she nodded.
He patted her arm reassuringly before pulling his hand away and then
quietly sat there, allowing her a few seconds to regain her composure.
“Sometimes,”
she began, sniffling slightly, “you are so much like him that it makes
me think it could really be him sitting right there in front of me.”
Daniel,
guessing she wasn’t attempting to be presumptuous with her remark,
smiled and took the statement as a compliment instead.
“I’m
sorry I was being so… dramatic earlier.” Janet began to rub absently at her
stomach as she went on, “I guess with all the stress, I’m just
not quite myself these days.”
“It’s
perfectly okay,” he assured.
She
nodded somewhat absently, her hand still at her stomach. Then she audibly swallowed and
as Daniel peered at her a little more closely he noticed she looked rather
pale.
“Are
you feeling okay?” he asked.
Janet
managed a feeble smile that Daniel instinctively knew was forced. “Just a little queasy. I think something I ate tonight
didn’t quite agree with me.”
Daniel
noticed a bead of perspiration had suddenly broken out on her forehead and he
frowned. “Do you want me to
send for Doctor Smith?”
“No,
I’ll be okay,” she insisted.
Her eyes fluttered closed as she offered a feeble wave, indicating he
didn’t need to fuss.
Daniel
hesitated, not entirely convinced.
“You’re not feeling feverish, are you?”
Janet
shook her head but the movement must have irritated her queasiness even more
because her eyes squinted momentarily and she clamped her lips together
tightly.
“Just
lie still for a few minutes,” Daniel instructed. Easing up from the bed he made his way
toward the small personal facilities attached to the VIP room. He retrieved a washcloth from one of
the toiletry shelves and dampened it with cool water. Returning to her side he sat on the
edge, careful not to move the bed any more than was necessary, and began to
gently pat her brow.
“Are
you sure you’re really all right?” he asked, concern evident in
his voice.
Janet
nodded slightly. “Yes. The queasiness is passing.” She reached up to briefly touch his
arm where he continued to wipe at her face with the dampened cloth. “And that actually seems to be
helping. Thank you.”
“You’re
welcome,” he replied.
A small
smile flickered across her lips as she opened her eyes. “You have a great bedside
manner,” she said, her voice full of warm affection.
Daniel
smiled in response. She did
appear to be feeling better now, and her color was clearly improving. Still, something about the scenario
just wasn’t making sense. Despite her assurances Janet was
continuing to lightly rub at her abdomen. If she really had eaten something that
upset her stomach then it would likely pass in time. But if she was coming down with
something then maybe he should get Doctor Smith after all. Certainly the last thing they needed
now was for Janet to get sick.
Gazing
down at her Daniel noticed she was continuing to smile at him, and something
about the smile was peculiarly familiar.
It was just like that odd smile she’d given before when
she’d made the comment about her headache being caused by stress. And then it hit him. Something he’d missed earlier,
but which now seemed blindingly obvious.
It was the way she kept rubbing at her stomach – the same way
she’d done a few times during their supper that night. And it was the way she’d so
easily gone from being happy one instant to nearly shedding tears the next
just a few moments ago.
Daniel
stared at her in stupefaction.
“You’re pregnant,” he whispered.
Janet
held his gaze and for a few seconds he thought she might try to deny it. But eventually she sighed and slowly
nodded her head.
“I
only found out for sure right before I came through the Mirror,” she
said, her voice soft. “In
fact, it was the positive test result that clinched it for me that I had to
try something.” Her eyes
fluttered closed momentarily as she confessed, “I could have lived with
it if I was only losing my husband.
But I couldn’t bear to think of losing the father of my child
too.”
Daniel
didn’t know what to say. As
he sat there staring at her, the thought that she carried a child – a
child who, genetically speaking,
could have just as easily been his – was a little unsettling. He pulled his hand away, the damp
cloth falling forgotten from his fingers. His mind was reeling and his own
stomach threatened to take a dive toward nausea as he was bombarded with
emotions. In one sense he was
extremely happy for her, and even for the man he knew had fathered the child. And yet, inexplicably, the sensation
of jealousy was clinging at the edges of that happiness. Mixed with it all were feelings of
surprise, concern, and protectiveness.
Janet
gazed up at him and smiled, as if seeming to understand his discomfort. “I’m sorry,” she
said. “I didn’t want
to say anything because I suspected it would make you feel awkward.”
Daniel
shook his head. “No,
it’s um…” But
he still didn’t know how to respond.
“Don’t
worry,” Janet said, placing a hand on his arm. “You don’t have to say
anything.”
Several seconds
of silence lingered between them.
As he
began to get a sense of his bearings again one thing was becoming clearer in
his mind – he was even more resolved than before to offer her his
help. He waved a hand at her
stomach. “Well, at least
you don’t have to worry about this little one losing a
father.” He raised his eyes
to look at her.
“We’ll go through the Mirror tomorrow, you’ll conduct
the transfusion, and everything will be fine.”
Janet
tried to smile but he could see she was fighting tears again. “I hope you’re
right.” Resting her free
hand on her stomach she patted it gently. “He doesn’t even know
he’s going to be a father,” she said, her voice breaking as the
drops slowly began to fall down her cheek.
Daniel
felt no hesitation in how to respond this time. Reaching out he pulled the petite
figure into his arms. “Then
I’ll see to it that he gets the chance to find out,” he asserted,
gently rubbing up and down her back.
“I promise.”
~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~
Around
noon the next day Janet was escorted to the Quantum Mirror and she
wasn’t terribly surprised to see the entourage gathered there. Daniel was standing beside the Mirror,
holding the control device in his hand.
Carter and Teal’c were standing beside him in the formation of a
loose semi-circle with O’Neill in the center. She suspected the General was giving
them last minute instructions but all conversation ceased as soon as she
entered.
“All
right, campers,” O’Neill announced without preamble. “Time to get down to
business.”
Carter
stepped forward and Janet noted she also held a control device. ‘Guess my information about SG‑1
finding the device in a hidden compartment of the wall in our reality must
have helped them find the device in this world,’ she thought to herself
with some relief. She
hadn’t been very comfortable with the General’s instruction that
the only hand-held control device would remain here if they couldn’t
find a second one.
Carter
pressed a switch on the device and the Mirror sparked to life. She began cycling through various
mirrored reflections and Janet watched closely for the one that represented
her parallel universe.
“Wait,”
Janet blurted when the image of a familiar storage room appeared. She took a step closer and peered into
the Mirror. “Yes, this is
it – this is my reality.”
“You’re
absolutely certain this is the
right one?” O’Neill asked.
“Yes,”
Janet confirmed. “You see
that small statue, sitting on the shelf there?” she asked, pointing at
a feline figurine with Egyptian markings that was resting among a collection
of cables and tools.
“It’s
a representation of the goddess Bast,” Daniel said. He absently readjusted his glasses as
he stared at the statue and Janet couldn’t help but notice that his
voice was a perfect echo of how her own husband sounded when he went into
what she affectionately referred to as archaeology
mode. He went on, “She
was originally worshipped as the Eye of Ra and Protector of Pharaoh, but
eventually became known as simply the Egyptian goddess of love, sex, and
life.”
“All
very interesting,” O’Neill said dryly as he fixed his eyes on
Janet and jerked a thumb toward the image in the Mirror. “But how does that cat tell me
this is the alternate reality
we’re looking for?”
Janet met
the general’s gaze, her own expression cool and collected as she
answered. “It was a wedding
gift from my husband. I
purposefully placed it on the shelf before I activated the Quantum Mirror so
I could use it as a clue to get back to the correct version of
reality.”
O’Neill
nodded, apparently accepting her answer as proof enough. “Remember our agreement that the
Mirror will remain activated the entire time Daniel is in your
reality.”
“Of
course,” she affirmed.
“Also,
Daniel is to have possession of the control device at all times. Once this whole procedure is over, and
he’s ready to return to our reality, then he can give it to you –
but not one second before.”
Janet
glanced past O’Neill to Daniel.
From the look on his face she suspected he wasn’t pleased with this
stipulation, but he was holding his tongue.
“I
understand,” Janet answered.
“Will there be anything else?”
O’Neill
held her gaze for several seconds before finally shaking his head. With a sigh of resignation he replied,
“Nothing else.”
Silence held
and Janet could literally feel the anticipation clawing at them. She glanced around the room,
purposefully making eye contact with each one of them. With that one look she did her best to
communicate to them how much she truly appreciated all they’d done to
help her, while also promising that she would take care of their Daniel and
see to it that he returned safely.
When her eyes met Daniel’s he reached out to her and together
they stepped up to the Mirror.
One brief touch to its surface and they were immediately on the other
side. Daniel paused to give a
final wave to his friends. Then
Janet opened the storage room door.
The
moment they stepped into the corridor Janet was not the least bit surprised
to find a guard waiting for them.
She quickly pulled the door, managing to get it closed behind her even
before the SF had a chance to address her.
“Doctor
Frasier,” he said, coming to full attention and holding his weapon
ready. “Please halt where
you are. I have orders to detain
you.”
Janet
sighed. That part didn’t
surprise her either. But that
didn’t mean she had to like it.
“Not a problem, Airman, provided you can do one thing for
me.” She pointed at the
familiar device clipped to his uniform.
“Get on that radio and find out the status of Doctor
Jackson.”
The SF
pressed the side of his walkie-talkie and spoke into it. “This is Lieutenant Harmon. Inform the General that Doctor Frasier
has returned.”
There was
an answer of acknowledgement from the other end, but the guard said no
more. Janet glared at him. “Aren’t you going to find
out about my husband?”
“Someone
will be with you in a moment, ma’am,” he replied evenly.
Janet’s
hands automatically clenched as she fought back the sudden urge to walk up
and throttle the man. Then she felt
a warm touch on her shoulder.
“It’ll
be alright,” Daniel spoke softly beside her. “You’ve come this far
– a few more seconds won’t hurt.”
‘I
hope you’re right,’ she thought bitterly.
“Janet!”
a familiar voice unexpectedly exclaimed.
Janet
spun around and saw Samantha Carter coming down the hall at practically a
full run.
“I
heard the communication on the radio,” Sam said. As she closed the distance between
them she grabbed the smaller woman in a huge embrace. “Thank goodness you’re
back.”
“How
is he?” Janet asked, searching her friend’s eyes as they pulled
apart.
“Not
good,” Sam answered.
“He went unconscious shortly after you left, but Teal’c,
the Colonel and I have been taking turns staying with him.” She paused and gave a half-hearted smile. “Although he’s fighting
with everything he’s got.
You know how stubborn he can be – I think he’s been
purposefully hanging in there just so he can fuss at you for running off
after he specifically told you not to.”
“Excuse
me?”
Janet
nearly started at Daniel’s interruption. In her relief of finding that her
husband was indeed still alive she’d almost forgotten the man
who’d accompanied her. Turning
slightly so she could look at him she offered a quick explanation. “I’m afraid General
Hammond wasn’t the only one who ordered me not to go through the
Quantum Mirror. When I explained
my idea to Daniel he was rather adamant that I not attempt it.”
“Let
me guess,” Daniel said, his eyebrows arching slightly as he met her
gaze. “Something along the
lines of he didn’t want you to risk your own safety on his
account?”
‘Of
course he would understand,’
she mused, smiling in spite of herself.
“Yeah,” she answered aloud. “Something like
that.”
“Looks
like you succeeded in your mission,” Sam said. Janet noticed her friend gave a slight
nod to the man standing behind her.
“Hello Daniel. Thank
you for coming.”
“Carter,
Frasier,” the voice of Colonel O’Neill echoed from down the
hall. Janet watched as he drew
closer, his pace automatically slowing as his eyes fell on their guest. “And Doctor Jackson, I
presume?”
“Hello,”
Daniel said, a little hesitantly.
“Colonel,
I have a pretty good idea that the General is absolutely furious with
me,” Janet began before O’Neill had a chance to say anything
more. “And I promise that
later you can take me to the brig, court martial me, do whatever the General
wants.” She stood up to her
full height, squared her shoulders, and fixed him with her hardest look. “But right now I’ve got
work to do. I’m going to
the infirmary to check on my husband, and I have to get Doctor Jackson
prepped for transfusion.”
“Okay,
okay,” O’Neill replied, holding up his hands in a placating
gesture. “No need to go
firing off with both barrels, Doc.
The General does want to see
you – but later. I’m
here to escort you personally to the infirmary and to make certain you get
everything you need.”
The sense
of relief that washed over Janet was so intense that she momentarily felt as
if her legs would give out beneath her.
Reflexively she reached out to Daniel, her hand clasping on his arm as
she steadied herself.
“Thank you,” she finally managed, her voice trembling
slightly. “Thank you.” Then she took a deep breath and let it
out slowly, forcing herself into medical mode. “Okay,” she said, looking
to each of her three companions in turn.
“Let’s get to work.”
~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~
Daniel
had to admit that things moved very quickly once Janet took charge. Upon arriving at the infirmary she
began barking out instructions to her staff, and the next thing he knew he
was being bustled into a side room.
One nurse thrust a familiar bundle of white fabric at him even as
another member of the medical staff expertly pulled the privacy curtain
closed in one fluid movement.
Sighing
to himself Daniel quickly changed into the medical
pajamas. He wasn’t entirely
certain why he felt so out of sorts all of a sudden. After all, what had he expected –
a brass band welcoming party? No,
he’d come here to do a job and that should be his primary focus for the
moment. He really didn’t
have time to be thinking about things like the fact that he was a
slightly-out-of-place visitor in an alternate reality, or that the woman
he’d come here to help had more or less abandoned him as she’d stepped
into her role as CMO. ‘Or
that she’s back home… with her husband,’ he thought ruefully.
He pulled
the curtain back, calling out to one of the nurses he saw to inform her he
was ready.
“Please
wait right there, Doctor Jackson,” she said, not even bothering to stop
with her task of gathering medical supplies. “Someone will be with you
shortly.”
Deciding
that he needed to do something,
Daniel began folding up his SGC uniform.
Recalling Jack’s instructions regarding the control device for
the Mirror, he considered what he should do with it. Surely he wouldn’t be allowed to
carry it into the room where they were going to perform the transfusion. While it wasn’t full-blown
surgery they’d still want to take all the necessary precautions
regarding sterility of environment.
Casting a quick glance around, to make sure no one was looking, he hastily shoved the small device as far as it
would go down inside one of his boots.
‘That will have to do,’ he thought, hoping that Jack would
understand.
“Doctor
Jackson?” a voice called from behind him.
Daniel
spun around to find he actually recognized the face he saw. It was Andrea Simmons – or at
least her counterpart in this parallel universe. In his own reality Nurse Simmons had
always been extremely kind to him, managing to make him feel very at ease on
the numerous occasions he’d been confined to the infirmary. She was smiling the same warm smile
he’d grown accustomed to from the Nurse Simmons he knew and immediately
he felt some of his apprehension ease. Fleetingly he wondered if perhaps Janet
had specifically sent Simmons as the one to retrieve him.
“Yes?”
he replied.
“We’re
just about ready for you.”
She pointed to a small cluster of cabinets along one of the
walls. “You may put your
things in one of those. And then
please come with me.”
As Daniel
followed Simmons into the private medical observation room he was immediately
struck by how efficient and busy everything appeared to be. Nurses and technicians were all
occupied with their tasks. He could
just see the edge of an infirmary bed poking from behind a privacy curtain
that was partially pulled back, and from the level of activity on the other
side he guessed that his counterpart was the patient. There was also the unmistakable sound
of life-support equipment and he felt his stomach tighten just a little. He’d believed Janet when
she’d told him how serious her husband’s condition was, but
seeing it first hand was somehow different. Glancing up at the observation window
he spotted the other members of SG-1, as well as General Hammond, gathering
for their silent vigil. He turned
sharply as he felt a slight tugging on his arm.
“Doctor
Jackson,” Nurse Simmons instructed, “if you’ll please step
this way.”
Daniel
allowed her to lead him to the other empty bed and as she helped him get
settled in he momentarily closed his eyes, attempting to quiet his racing
mind. ‘It’s just a
simple transfusion,’ he reminded himself. ‘A few hours and you’ll be
back home.
And then everything can return to normal.’
“Hey
there,” a tender voice interrupted his thoughts, and as Daniel opened
his eyes he saw Janet standing beside his bed. She was clad in scrubs now, her hair
pulled back tight beneath the small blue cap. A mask was on her face but she pulled
it down and smiled at him.
“All settled in?”
He
nodded, a little surprised at how just seeing Janet again immediately seemed
to calm him.
“I
know I’ve already told you a little about the procedure,” she
went on, “but I want to talk you through what’s about to
happen.”
Meeting
her gaze Daniel felt his spirit ease even more. Did she actually realize how much that
tiny bit of attention meant to him – how important it was for him to
have knowledge about all this? ‘Probably so,’ he silently
reflected.
“We’re
going to get an IV started,” Janet began. “I want to go ahead and
administer the vaccine for the virus that our Daniel has, so that it can be
in your bloodstream once the transfusion begins. Now, it’s not dangerous for you,
but there will be some minor side effects – dry mouth, fatigue, slight
muscle cramps, loss of appetite, and possibly even a touch of nausea. Of course, none of these will be a
concern until sometime after you wake up from the procedure. But if any of them gets to be too much
for you just let someone know, and we can give you something to help.”
He
nodded. “Okay.”
“I’m
also going to give you a sedative.”
Daniel’s
features scrunched into an expression of inquiry but before he could ask her
why Janet went on.
“It’s
more for our Daniel’s sake than for yours,” she admitted. “His body is under a lot of
stress at the moment and he needs all the help he can get, both through this
procedure and during the recuperation.” She patted his arm reassuringly. “Don’t worry. You’ll drift off to sleep and by
the time you wake up this will all be over.”
A
technician began wheeling various pieces of equipment up beside his bed. “Anything else?” he asked
Janet.
“Just
the usual apparatus to monitor your heart rate, blood pressure, that sort of
thing.” She patted his arm
again before turning to go.
“Janet,”
he called her back, but when she turned, a questioning look on her face,
Daniel realized he wasn’t really sure what he wanted to say. Sighing, he finally finished with,
“I’ll see you when I wake up?”
She
smiled. “Of
course.” Then pulling her
medical mask back over her face, she walked away.
“Ready
for your IV insertion?” Andrea Simmons asked, stepping up beside him.
‘When
you wake up this will all be over.’ Daniel let the thought echo in his
mind. Nodding to Nurse Simmons he
closed his eyes again, willing himself to relax and accept the oblivion that
the sedative would bring.
~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~
Daniel
had returned from drug-induced slumber enough times to immediately recognize
the signs. He knew the sensation
that his eyelids weighed a ton was just that – a sensation – and
if he kept at it, eventually he would be able to open them. His persistence paid off but as he
squinted and blinked the fuzzy images of the infirmary refused to come into
focus. He found a small roll-away
tray beside his bed and, much to his relief, his glasses lying there beside a
Styrofoam pitcher of water. He
slipped the spectacles on and the world instantly became clear.
A glance
at the clock informed him it was early morning. He tried to push himself up in bed,
the effort earning him the unmistakable tensing of muscles cramping
throughout his arms and legs. He
winced in pain and bit back the groan that came to his lips. He seemed to recall something about
cramps being a side-effect of his condition, but his brain was so muddled at
the moment he couldn’t remember the particulars.
Easing
back against the pillow he tried to figure out what he’d done this time to wind up in the
predicament where he now found himself.
Searching through the fog of his mind it slowly began to come back to
him… a blood transfusion… something about an antidote for an
alien virus… and an alternate reality version of Janet Frasier.
Daniel
wasn’t sure if it his was due to the blood transfusion or the vaccine
he’d been given – or a combination of both – but he was so
groggy that he soon dozed off again.
He spent most of the day fading in and out of a light sleep. He’d usually stir when someone came
to check his vital signs, and he vaguely remembered a brief visit from the
Jack O’Neill of this reality.
During one of his bouts of wakefulness he’d learned that his
counterpart was reacting well to the vaccine after having the
transfusion. Still, there’d
been no definitive word on whether or not Doctor Jackson would actually pull
through.
He
hadn’t seen any sign of Janet.
Daniel guessed the reason why, and although logically he knew it made
sense for Janet to be at her husband’s side he had to admit it bothered
him that she hadn’t been by to see him
as well.
As the
day passed, activity in the infirmary waxed and waned, eventually settling
into quietude late in the night.
Daniel woke to find himself feeling particularly rested. The infirmary was mostly dark and he
appeared to be alone. A glance
across the room at the clock confirmed the reason why – it was almost
four in the morning. He shifted
slightly, and realized the complaints from his muscles this time were due to
body parts confined to the same position for too long rather than the cramps
caused as a side effect of the vaccine he’d been given. He felt a little hungry and realized
he hadn’t eaten since arriving in this parallel universe. But he doubted any of the medical
personnel would be by to make rounds for at least another hour.
Sighing
heavily, he eased over onto his right side and his eyes fell on a sight that
hadn’t been there any of the previous times he’d been awake. His counterpart was lying in one of
the beds, two spaces over, and although Daniel couldn’t see the other
man’s face very clearly from this angle, he appeared to be resting
peacefully. He was still hooked
up a host of machines, but Daniel did notice the equipment specified for life
support – most notably a ventilator – was missing. And sitting in a chair beside the bed,
half slumped over in slumber, was Janet.
For the
longest time Daniel simply watched her.
The rise and fall of her breathing was a steady, comforting
rhythm. On her face were
tale-tale signs of fatigue and stress from recent events, but otherwise she
looked utterly serene. Her hair
was still mostly up in its coil, but several strands had managed to escape,
falling around her face and neck in an undeniably alluring manner. One hand was resting across her
midsection, in a somewhat protective gesture, and Daniel was reminded of the
tiny life that flourished there.
The
minutes passed and Daniel continued his silent observance. He began to be aware that his emotions
were seesawing between happiness and remorse. On the one hand he was immensely
grateful to have been able to help save another man’s life and, in some
twisted sense, to have had the chance to see Janet again. But being with this alternate universe
Janet had opened old wounds. It
had also – much to his surprise – revealed new feelings and
possibilities regarding the Janet that was taken from him. And the knowledge that those feelings
and possibilities could never be fulfilled threatened to drag him to the
depths of despair. Before the discovery
of a second Quantum Mirror he’d started thinking that he could finally
move on, without the grief of Janet’s death being so acutely
present. Now he wasn’t so
sure.
“Oh,
Janet…” he whispered into the stillness, not really sure if the sigh
was meant for the friend he’d lost, or the woman sitting not far from
him now.
A hush
settled over the room again.
Daniel glanced at the clock.
A couple minutes after five now.
Janet would likely wake up on her own before long. Or else staff would begin milling
about, making the morning rounds.
He sighed again, somewhat irritated that this intimate moment –
painful though it was – would soon be ending. He allowed his eyes to close,
wondering if he shouldn’t save himself the trouble by trying to drift
off to sleep again.
Suddenly
there was movement from the other bed and Daniel’s eyes snapped
open. All was quiet for several
heartbeats and he thought perhaps he’d only imagined it. Then it happened again, accompanied
this time by a soft moan from his counterpart. It was enough to rouse Janet from her
light sleep and Daniel froze.
Inexplicably he didn’t want her to know that he was also awake.
He
watched as Janet straightened in her chair, all her attention clearly focused
on the figure lying in that bed.
But she said nothing.
The
seconds felt painfully long but eventually a hint of movement was
repeated. He saw Janet ease to
the edge of her chair but she still remained quiet.
When the
other Daniel’s voice finally broke the silence it was strained and
frail, but there was no mistaking the wealth of love that flowed in its
singly uttered word.
“Janet?”
She was
instantly at his side.
“I’m here,” she answered, her voice echoing the same
level of tenderness and affection.
“I’m here, sweetheart.”
A part of
Daniel knew he should turn away, or at the very least close his eyes. This wasn’t something he should
be watching. It was their time, not his. But he couldn’t pull himself
away.
Their
voices had fallen to whispers, and he could scarcely make out what they
said. And he still couldn’t
see his counterpart’s face.
But the essence of their communication was blatantly reflected on
Janet’s features, which he could make out all too well.
Tears of
joy were rolling down her cheeks and she fairly glowed as she gazed down at
her husband. Her hands were
always in contact with some part of him – holding his hand, stroking
his brow, or attempting to smooth unruly spikes of hair. Daniel was transfixed by the sight
even as he felt conflicted by seeing her tender caresses to hands and a face
that was identical to his own.
She couldn’t stop smiling, it seemed, and although Daniel
couldn’t hear her words, the few tones that did reach his ears were so
full of love that it scorched an aching sense of longing through him.
Daniel
continued watching, prolonging his own anguish, as her husband reached up to
tenderly brush away the tears from her face. Again Daniel was struck by the
familiarity of the gesture, an exact duplicate of something he would have done. One finger paused at her chin, winding
affectionately around a wisp of curls that clung to her skin there. His counterpart said something then
that made Janet laugh, a lighthearted, beautiful sound that tore at
Daniel’s heart.
Their
soft murmurings continued and then Daniel noticed that Janet’s husband
momentarily tensed, his hand reflexively drifting towards her stomach. Daniel didn’t think it would
have been possible but Janet’s expression actually beamed even brighter
as she slowly nodded. He knew then
that she’d just revealed the good news about her pregnancy and he
admonished himself again to close his eyes. But he simply could not force his gaze
away, even as the man lying there – this peculiar mirror image of himself – slowly pulled Janet close. Daniel guiltily watched the passionate
kiss between them and silently acknowledged a smoldering envy for the man
whose life he’d only recently saved.
They
eventually parted and when Janet spoke again her voice was loud enough that
Daniel could hear her.
“You
should probably rest, for a little while,” she said, gently touching
her husband’s face.
“I’m sure the others will be up and about shortly, and
once they find out you’ve come back to the land of the living--”
“This
place will be Grand Central Station,” her Daniel finished the
thought. His voice was still weak
but the underlying tone of happiness indicated that the worst was over.
Janet
leaned down and placed a light kiss on her husband’s forehead. “Go back to sleep. I’ll check on you later.”
As she
turned to leave her gaze inadvertently drifted toward Daniel and his eyes
locked with hers. He knew his
jealous emotions were still reflected in his expression and he didn’t
bother to hide it. He
wasn’t even certain he could
have, had he wanted to. He
noticed Janet paused, almost imperceptibly, as she drew near his bed. A troubled frown drifted across her
features and for a moment he feared she might actually approach him. Stirring up ever ounce of courage he
had, Daniel forced a feeble smile.
‘Don’t worry,’ he silently assured her. ‘I’ll be okay.’
Janet
continued, walking right past him, and Daniel breathed a sigh of relief. He quickly glanced at the bed where
his counterpart lay but it appeared the man was already asleep again. Rolling onto his back he stared up at
the ceiling, feeling more worn than he had in years.
Some time
later a nurse came over to check his vital signs. Other staff members began moving about
as well. Daniel knew that
Janet’s prediction hadn’t been in jest – soon people would
be coming to check on his counterpart.
And while they would no doubt celebrate, he would be lying here slowly
drowning in his self-induced torment.
‘I can’t cope with this right now,’ he silently
confessed. ‘I just
can’t.’
He
burrowed as far down into his bed as he could and pretended to be
asleep. Visitors began to drift
in about half an hour later and continued pretty much non-stop for most of
the morning. Daniel’s ruse
thankfully resulted in the majority of people passing him by. However, the members of this
reality’s SG-1 weren’t so easily deterred. After visiting with his counterpart
each one would walk over to his bed and utter a few kind words. Somehow Daniel managed to smile and
nod in all the right places. But
every time he thanked one of them for the heartfelt gratitude they expressed,
he would inwardly cringe at his own jealousy. ‘Sure, I helped save your
friend’s life,’ he’d silently consider. ‘And yet I’d give anything
to trade places with him.’
Still,
the encounter he dreaded most – speaking to Janet – had yet to
happen. It was a little past
mid-morning and a slight lull had settled in the infirmary, but Daniel knew
it couldn’t last. As the
moments ticked by he grew increasingly restless. He desperately wanted to just get up,
get dressed, and get back to his own world.
He was
attempting to feign sleep again when someone approached his bed and he felt a
hand grab the pulse point of his wrist.
He instinctively knew it was Janet, a notion that was confirmed when
he heard her whisper near his ear.
“I
know you’re not really asleep, Daniel, so why don’t you go ahead
and sit up?” Her tone was
clearly of the no-nonsense variety.
Sighing
in resignation Daniel slowly opened his eyes. He wasn’t certain what
he’d expected to see in her gaze, but the look of compassion he found
was a little surprising.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, the thought tumbling out
of his mouth before he had time to consider why he was actually saying it.
“Don’t
be,” Janet said sincerely, offering a slight smile as she dropped his
wrist. A couple of heartbeats
passed before she went on.
“How are you feeling?”
Something
about the way she asked it told Daniel she wasn’t just referring to his
physical condition.
“I’ve been better,” he replied, unable to lie to
her. Pushing up with his elbows
he eased into half sitting, half reclining position against his pillow. “But, given enough time,
I’m sure I’ll be okay.”
She
nodded, looking away for a moment.
“I imagine you’re feeling about ready to head back
home,” she said, her tone an odd mixture of acceptance and regret.
“Yes,”
Daniel answered, realizing his own voice carried similar emotions. In a vain attempt to bring some logic
to the situation he added, “My forty eight hour window will be up this
afternoon. I’d rather not
risk entropic cascade failure if I don’t have to.”
She
nodded again. “I’ve
ordered a meal tray to be brought up for you.”
He was
hungry, and yet didn’t feel at all like eating. He opened his mouth to make a protest
but she held up a hand, silencing him.
“Daniel,
you’ve not eaten anything since you got here. I’m not worried about
dehydration since we’ve been keeping your fluid levels up with the IV,
but you have to eat.” Her tone communicated there was no
room for debate.
“You’ll never get your strength back if you continue to go
without food.”
“Okay,”
he conceded.
“Thank
you,” Janet replied.
“I’ll arrange to have your clothes brought here too. After you’ve eaten you can take
a shower and change. Just make
sure you let me or one of the nurses know when you get ready,” she
paused, her tone taking on a slightly teasing quality. “I know you hate being checked
up on, but you’re still likely a little weak from the procedure. I don’t want you passing out on
me in the shower stall.”
Despite
his conflicting emotions Daniel was touched by her genuine concern, and he
couldn’t fight the hint of smile that pulled at his mouth. “Yes ma’am.”
Janet
smiled in return but she quickly grew serious again. “You don’t have to do
anything you don’t feel comfortable with,” she began, sending a
fleeting glance toward the man resting two beds over. “But I know my husband would
very much like the chance to speak with you before you go.” Her eyes came back to his, her
expression softening as she added, “And it would mean a lot to me as
well.”
How could
he possibly refuse her?
“Okay,” he answered simply. Silence held between them until an
orderly arrived with his breakfast.
“Alright,
eat up,” she instructed.
Daniel
removed the lid and found a plate laden with toast, bacon, and eggs –
fixed just the way he liked them, he noted. There was also some kind of pastry and
fruit on the side. But more
importantly there was a mug and an entire carafe of fresh hot coffee. Janet picked up the carafe, turned the
lid and began pouring. He
breathed in the pleasant aroma as the amber liquid flowed into his cup. Janet closed the lid again and then
reached to gently touch his arm.
“I’ll
talk to you later,” she said, her voice soft, “sometime before
you go.”
He
nodded, meeting her eyes before she finally turned and walked away. He wasn’t exactly looking
forward to that moment, but he also knew there was no way to avoid it. With a sigh he picked up his napkin,
unrolled it to reveal the silverware, and began eating his meal.
~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~
Janet had
been surreptitiously keeping an eye on the alternate reality Daniel all
morning. She was glad to see that
he ate most of the breakfast she’d ordered. And when he got out of bed to head for
the shower she was relieved to note that he didn’t appear in the least
bit wobbly. His last round of
blood work and tests all looked good too. She knew it would be a couple of days
more before he was completely back to full-strength, but so far he’d
recovered as well as she’d hoped.
It was
nearing twelve-hundred now and Janet was glad things in the infirmary had
quieted down. She’d
expected the steady flow of visitors that had come and gone all morning, but
she was glad when it eventually ceased and her husband could get some
rest. She’d also known the
activity hadn’t been particularly easy for the other Daniel either.
She
sighed before closing the file she’d been reading. All things considered she
couldn’t be more pleased with how things had worked out. It had been a huge risk, her going
through the Quantum Mirror, and she’d known that from the start. But her gamble had paid off. The transfusion had provided enough
variation in her Daniel’s blood chemistry so that the vaccine had a
chance to cure his virus. Her
husband had several days of recovery ahead, but he would make it. And
try as she might, Janet realized there simply weren’t words enough to
express the gratitude she felt about that.
‘But
my victory had a price,’ she silently admitted. And the cost was one she’d never
considered having to pay.
She’d
anticipated the repercussions of her violating a direct order –
although she was yet to discover what those were going to be. She’d also been prepared for the
emotional difficulties of coming face to face with an alternate reality
version of her husband.
She’d even anticipated that the other Daniel would have to deal
with his own bundle of odd thoughts and feelings about the whole thing. But Janet would never have thought
that what she’d witnessed in the wee hours of this morning would be how
it would actually happen.
Earlier,
when she’d turned around and saw the alternate reality Daniel awake, it
had surprised her a little. She
had to admit that although those moments she’d shared with her husband
when he’d finally stirred this morning were of a rather private nature,
it didn’t really bother her that Daniel had been watching them. What had caught her off guard was what
she’d seen in his eyes. The
raw emotion and total vulnerability reflected there had cut straight to her
heart. She’d certainly
never intended to hurt Daniel, and yet that’s exactly what she’d
done. In showing him an alternate
world – her world – in which a parallel version of himself had
once again found love, she had exposed him to the pain of realizing that
possibility was, in fact, forever lost to him in his own world.
‘Why
can’t our lives just be normal
for a change?’ she ruefully murmured to herself, rubbing at her temples
in an effort to ease some of the tension she felt. Stepping out of her office she made
her way to the infirmary. She
found Daniel had finished his shower, and was sitting in a chair beside the
bed where her husband rested. He
was clearly lost in thought, his gaze focused at something in the distance,
but he turned as she drew near.
“Hi,”
she said, offering a smile.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better,”
he replied, his gaze drifting toward the bed. “He’s still sleeping. I don’t want to wake him,
but…”
Janet
sighed. Yes, they were working on
a time table here, and the possibility of entropic cascade failure was
becoming more real by the minute.
“I can wake him,” she offered.
Daniel
looked a little hesitant.
As if on
cue, her husband stirred, his eyelids fluttering open. Reflexively she moved to his side and
reached for his hand.
“Have
a good nap?” she asked, smiling as he met her gaze.
“Yeah,
finally,” he replied, his voice still a touch weak. “I thought people would never
stop coming in this morning.”
“That’s
what you get for having such a devoted fan following,” she teased. Taking a deep breath she forged
ahead. “Actually,
there’s one more person here who would like to see you, before he has
to leave.”
Her
husband blinked and she saw instant understanding register in his eyes. He peered around her to look for the
other man.
“Um,
hi,” Daniel said as he stood from his chair.
Janet’s
husband smiled, his eyebrows arching slightly. “Well, this is definitely…
odd.”
“No
kidding,” Daniel replied, shoving his hands in his pockets.
Janet
couldn’t help but smile as she watched them. There was a definite awkwardness in
the air but it wasn’t really uncomfortable. ‘A little comical,’ she thought
affectionately, ‘but not uncomfortable.’
“Listen,”
her husband broke the silence first.
“I know this doesn’t even begin to come close to
expressing what I want to say, or to giving back
what I owe you…” He met his counterpart’s gaze straight on.
“But thank you – for
everything.”
Daniel
nodded. Janet could practically
see the mental activity going on behind his eyes but he said nothing more.
Her
husband held out a hand to him then.
“If there’s ever anything I can do…?”
Daniel
reached out, accepted the hand and shook it. “Just keep taking care of
her,” he said sincerely as he sent a fleeting glance Janet’s
direction. “And keep on loving
her.”
Janet
swallowed against the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat. She instinctively knew that a sense of
understanding had just passed between the two men. And glancing at her husband she saw
that he was okay with that.
“I
will,” her Daniel assured as the men released hands. “You have my word on
that.”
Daniel
took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Well. As Janet said, I really do have to be
leaving.”
Her
husband nodded. “I
appreciate you taking the time to say good-bye,” he said.
“I’ll
need to inform the General that you’re ready to leave,” Janet
said, looking to the alternate reality Daniel. “And I imagine some of the
others might want to say good-bye as well. Come with me to my office? We can contact Hammond from there.”
Daniel
nodded, but she also caught the flicker of comprehension in his
expression. This would provide a
chance for them to have the private conversation she so desperately wanted to
have before he left for good.
Turning
back to her husband Janet asked, “Do you need anything before I
go?”
He shook
his head. “Nah. I’ll just take another nap,” he playfully teased. Holding her gaze he added, “We
can visit again later.”
Janet
squeezed his hand, silently telling him how much she appreciated him. Somehow her husband had known that she
needed to be able to say good-bye to Daniel in her own way. And he not only understood her need,
he also wasn’t threatened by it.
“I love you, Doctor,” she said, using their affectionate
moniker, as she leaned in to kiss him on the forehead.
“I
love you too, Doctor,” came the familiar reply. He looked to the other man and gave a
friendly wave. “Good luck,
Doctor Jackson.” Then he
eased back into the pillow and closed his eyes.
Janet
reached out and touched Daniel’s arm. “You ready?”
He
sighed, his gaze lingering a moment on his counterpart. Finally he nodded and replied,
“Yeah. I’m
ready.”
~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~ ^
~ ^ ~
^ ~
Once they
stepped into Janet’s office she closed the door behind them and moved
toward the phone to make her call.
Daniel placed the hand-held control device he still carried on her
desk. He thought about sitting
down to wait, but in the end decided he felt slightly more comfortable
standing.
“General
Hammond will meet you at the Mirror in fifteen minutes,” Janet said
after hanging up the receiver.
“I think the other members of SG-1 are coming too, to make their
farewells.”
Daniel
nodded. Knowing their time was
limited he asked her something that had started plaguing him since he’d
gotten into the shower that morning.
“Speaking of Hammond,
what’s going to happen to you in response to your disobeying his orders
about the Mirror?”
Janet
shrugged. “I’m not
sure. The General hasn’t
spoken with me about it yet.”
She stood and casually crossed her arms as she stepped from behind her
desk. “He’s been very
gracious, waiting to address the issue until it was pretty clear that my
Daniel was going to pull through.
But I know he can’t put it off forever.”
“Could
it be as bad as a court martial?” he asked.
“He
would certainly have that right,” Janet admitted. Meeting his gaze she went on,
“I’m fully prepared to accept the consequences of my
actions. However… in light
of the fact that things worked out as well as they have, I’m hoping
General Hammond will find some way to work things around so that it
doesn’t have to come to that.”
Daniel
locked his own arms across his chest, leaning his weight slightly over one
foot. “Would it help if I
spoke to him?”
Janet
smiled but shook her head.
“Probably not. But
thanks for offering.”
The silence
began to build and Daniel started to get an uncomfortable feeling in the pit
of his stomach. For the past
several hours all he could think about was getting away from this reality and
back to his own. But now that it
was coming down to it, he really hated having to say goodbye to the woman
standing across from him.
He
cleared his throat a little nervously.
“Well…”
Janet
sighed, her arms falling to her sides as she approached him. “Daniel, I owe you an
apology,” she said.
His
eyebrows arched as he gazed at her quizzically.
“I
never meant to hurt you,” she admitted. “But I know that’s what
happened anyway. And after
everything you’ve done to help me, and my Daniel--” she broke off
abruptly as her eyes began to pool with unshed tears.
“Oh
Janet,” he sighed, dragging a hand through his hair. As he’d suspected she’d
seen right through to his heart.
And he knew there was no point in attempting to deny his
feelings. “It’s not
your fault. No one is responsible
for how I feel except myself. And
besides, there was no way you could have known that this would happen.”
She
nodded. “I know. But that doesn’t make it any
easier.” She blinked and
bit at her lower lip, clearly attempting to fight back her tears.
Without a
second thought Daniel stepped across the small office to her. “Come here,” he said,
pulling her into his arms. She
tensed at first, but then slowly settled into his embrace.
“More
than anything I wish there was some way I could give your Janet back to
you,” she murmured against his chest.
“I
know,” he whispered into her hair, suddenly fighting against his own
tears.
They
stood there, in the stillness, as Daniel lovingly stroked her back and her
hair. Eventually he could tell
that her crying had subsided and she pulled away slightly, gazing up into his
face.
“Don’t
give up all hope, Daniel,” she said softly. “Please believe me when I say
you have so much love to share – you have so much to give.”
Her lip trembled but her eyes reflected the sincerity of her
words. “Maybe in your
reality this particular possibility
– of you and Janet – is lost, but if an opportunity for love does
cross your path again then I want you to promise me you won’t turn away
from it. Give it a chance. Promise me that, Daniel.”
He
reached up and gently wiped away the last traces of her tears. Smiling down at her he replied,
“I promise.”
She
smiled then, a smile so full of warmth and affection that Daniel thought his
heart might burst. “Thank
you,” she breathed. And then,
without any hesitation, she reached up and kissed him.
Reason
told him to resist. But as Janet
wrapped her arms around his neck he realized that she was offering him what
little she could. He gave in to
his feelings then, and returned her kiss with all the passion he felt,
drawing her closer and reveling in the feel of her against him.
He knew
it had to end, and he also knew he didn’t want Janet to be the one to
initiate that pulling away.
Slowly easing his hold on her Daniel began to break their
contact. She held his gaze, even
after they parted, and he wasn’t sure how long they remained like that,
simply staring into one another’s eyes. But eventually she stepped back and
Daniel let her go, his arms falling to his side.
“We
should go,” Janet said as she took a steadying breath.
Daniel
nodded, unable to give a verbal answer as he struggled with his own internal
storm. He retrieved the control
device from her desk and followed her wordlessly out of the office and to the
storage room where the Mirror was housed. The other members of this
reality’s SG-1 were already there, but Hammond had yet to arrive. He cast a quick glance at the Mirror
and saw that it was indeed still activated. On the other side, in his parallel
universe, he saw Teal’c acknowledge his arrival with a nod of his head.
Daniel
knew he needed to do something to get through this or else he was going to
fall apart right then and there.
“Um, thanks for coming to see me off,” he said, looking
around at those in the room.
“Wouldn’t
miss it,” O’Neill said, offering one of his characteristic
half-grins as he met the younger man’s eyes.
It
didn’t really surprise him that Sam was the first one to make a
move. She stepped forward and
gave him a hug that was only slightly awkward. “Thanks,” she said,
smiling, “for giving our Daniel back to us.”
He smiled
in return. “Well, I’d
like to think he would have done the same for me.”
Sam’s
smile grew even bigger as she nodded in agreement. Then she stepped aside, allowing the
others a chance to make their farewell.
“It
has been an honor, Daniel Jackson,” Teal’c said as he offered his
arm in the customary Jaffa
handshake. “I have known
you only briefly, but you have proven yourself just as worthy of the respect
and friendship I have given the Daniel Jackson of this world.”
“Thank
you, Teal’c,” Daniel replied. “That means a lot to me, it
really does.”
As Daniel
turned to Jack he paused, allowing the other man opportunity to make the
first move.
“It’s
been pleasure, Doctor Jackson… as always,” Jack said, offering a
handshake of his own.
“Right,”
Daniel answered, unable to hide a genuine smile. The other time he’d been in an
alternate reality, there hadn’t even existed a
relationship between that Jack O’Neill and Daniel Jackson. He’d always felt a little
regretful about that. He liked
knowing that in this version of things they were apparently just as close as
he and his Jack were.
“Well,
Doctor Jackson,” a new voice suddenly announced from the doorway. “This has certainly been a most
unusual experience.”
Daniel
turned and met the General’s gaze.
‘You have no idea,’ he thought to himself. Aloud he answered, “Well, Sir,
experiences with Quantum Mirrors usually are.” And although Janet had told him
earlier that it probably wouldn’t make a difference, Daniel felt he had
to get in some comment on her behalf in regards to all this. Fixing his eyes on the General he
added, “I’m just glad, in this particular instance that things
worked out for the best, without any serious
repercussions.”
Hammond nodded, and Daniel got the
impression the man understood what he’d been trying to communicate.
“I’d
like to stay and see you off, but I’m afraid I have to get back the
Gateroom,” Hammond
said.
“Problem,
General?” Jack asked.
“No,”
Hammond assured. “Just part of my
job.” He turned back to
Daniel and offered a respectful nod.
“Godspeed, Doctor Jackson.” The without another word he turned and
exited the room.
“Well,
I guess that’s it then.” Daniel said, his gaze reflexively
drifting to Janet. He was
relieved to see that she appeared calm now, with all that had passed between
them now carefully hidden behind a mask of control.
“Thank
you,” she said, stepping over and offering a hug. But it was a reserved hug this time,
communicating only her friendship and gratitude.
“Take
care of yourself,” he whispered in her ear,
before she could pull away.
“Take care of all three of you.” He glanced down at the control device
in his hand before holding it out to her. “I believe I can give this to
you now. It’s the one that
belongs in this reality.”
Janet
took the device and smiled as she met his eyes. “Good-bye,” she said.
Daniel
pushed down all the regret and sadness and answered with only the warmth of
his caring for her.
“Good-bye, Janet.”
Then he
turned, and taking a deep breath reached up and touched the surface of the
Mirror.
Teal’c
was at his side the moment he arrived back in his reality. Daniel cast one final glance through
the Mirror. They were all
smiling, and Sam was even offering a little wave. But Daniel’s gaze lingered on
Janet. He gave her a final
smile. Then he saw her reach up
to the device in her hand, and the Mirror shut off.
“I
am glad to see you return, Daniel Jackson,” Teal’c said. “But I sense that all is not
well.”
Daniel
almost laughed at the irony of his friend’s assessment. ‘If you only knew how true that
was,’ he silently mused.
Turning he gave the Jaffa
a reassuring pat on the arm.
“No, Teal’c, everything went fine. The transfusion was a success and their
Daniel is going to recover.
I’m a little tired, but everything is fine.”
Teal’c
returned his gaze, an eyebrow arched in skepticism, and Daniel wondered if he
would press the issue.
The Jaffa remained silent
for several seconds before finally speaking again. “You have done a very brave
thing, my friend.” The look
in his eyes communicated to Daniel that although Teal’c didn’t
know everything that had transpired, he did understand that it had made an
irrevocable change in his friend.
He placed a hand heavily on Daniel’s shoulder, his head cocking
to one side as he added, “And I believe that the Janet Frasier we both
knew and loved would be extremely proud of you… as am I.”
Daniel
nodded, unable to say anything as the emotions of the past several days
washed over him once again. But
as he considered Teal’c’s words he was reminded that in spite of
all he’d lost, he still had friends who cared about him. He allowed his gaze to drift toward
the ceiling, his thoughts turning to the petite, dark-haired, spirited doctor
that had been one of those special friends. ‘Yes,’ he silently
promised her. ‘I’m
going to be okay.’
~ END ~
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