Suggested
Rating: for teen and older readers
Category: Daniel/Janet, angst
Setting: during the 2010 episode
Synopsis: Before altering the timeline resulting from
their encounter with the Aschen, Daniel gets an opportunity to reflect on his own
past failures.
Author’s
Comments: Part 27 in The Journey series. I’ve
been thinking of how I’d handle this story for a while. An episode like 2010 is fun to play with.
You have your favorite characters, but in the future. You also have a future that ceases to
exist. There are many directions you can
go with it. Then, seeing where my muse
was taking The Journey up to this
point, it seemed such a natural course to write what you’ll find below – a sort
of What if…? scenario. I sincerely hope you enjoy it, and that
perhaps it even adds something to your re-viewings of the episode itself. Many, many thanks to Sonia for really putting
in the elbow grease to help polish this one.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly
recognizable characters and places (the Stargate SG-1 stuff) are the
property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for
entertainment only and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was
intended. Previously unrecognized
characters and places, and this story, are creations of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or
dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
A SINGLE MISTAKE
- by Michelle Lunsford (August 2008)
Year
2010
He didn’t realize he’d been watching for her
until he actually saw her. Even then it
was only the way all other sights and sounds faded into the background – the
way his heart seemed to come to a complete stop – that clued him in.
She was moving slowly, her eyes scanning the
room. Then she nodded and quickened her
pace, hand outstretched as she approached someone he didn’t recognize. She smiled at the man and Daniel felt his
breath catch.
Still
as beautiful as ever...
“Doctor Jackson? I say, Doctor Jackson – is something the
matter?” The voice that interrupted his
thoughts was loud and fretful.
He blinked as the reality of his surroundings
came crashing in. “No, no, I’m fine,” he
stuttered, his face flushing in embarrassment.
He offered an apology for his inattention and then, with great effort,
focused once more on the visiting dignitary’s story.
When the tale ended Daniel managed to
politely excuse himself. His gaze was
immediately drawn to the spot where he’d last seen her, but she and the man
were gone. Frowning, he moved toward the
railing, hoping for a better look at the level below. At that moment a large group poured out of
the escalator, blocking his view.
Impatience churning, he maneuvered his way through.
And then, quite unexpectedly, there she was.
“Daniel!”
She smiled and he nearly staggered with sudden dizziness.
“Janet, it’s—” Before he could finish the thought, someone
plowed into him from behind. He turned
to make an apology, then felt a tug on his arm as Janet directed them both out
of the line of escalator traffic.
The air was thick with the awkwardness of the
moment. His mind raced, searching for
the most appropriate greeting, but it was Janet who made the first move. She stepped forward and gave him a quick but
friendly embrace.
“It’s good to see you,” she said.
“You too.”
He waved a hand to indicate her appearance. “You haven’t changed a bit.”
She chuckled.
“I imagine I have the Aschen anti-aging vaccine to thank for that.”
“No. I
mean, yes, you’re probably right, but that’s not what I—that’s not how I
mea—” he broke off, irritated that he
was babbling like an idiot. Shoving his
hands in his pockets he took a deep breath and leveled his gaze at her. “What I’m trying – so ineffectively – to say
is, you look great.”
“Thanks.”
Her voice was soft and she lowered her eyes for a moment before
continuing. “So, how are things in the
exciting world of archaeology? Are you
still at Chicago?”
“Yes, and it’s going well. I teach classes in the fall and do field work
in the spring and summer. Although I
might be doing a graduate seminar this next summer session.”
“Sounds like you’re happy there.”
“Yeah.
It’s fulfilling, even if it does often keep me busier than I’d
like.” He thought of inquiring about her
work in turn, but then considered she might appreciate being asked about
something else first. “And speaking of
graduate work, how’s Cassie?”
Good
move,
he thought as he saw her entire face light up at the mention of her daughter’s
name.
“She’s doing wonderfully. She sends her love, by the way. She hated that she wasn’t able to travel in
from Paris for the celebration today.”
His voice rose in surprise. “Paris?”
“Paris,” she confirmed, eyes twinkling. “Cassie was chosen for a rather prestigious
scholarship that provides for mentoring with some of the best modern artists
there. She’s only been there about a
month, so she’s still settling in, but I can tell she loves it.”
“That’s great, really great.” He managed a smile despite the sense of
regret now coloring his mood. There had
been Christmas cards and calls, and the occasional letter, but the last time
he’d seen Cassandra was when she’d graduated high school. How could he have allowed so much time to
slip by?
A silent warning went off in his head. Don’t start
down that path, especially not now.
The atmosphere was growing heavy again and
once more it was Janet who relieved the tension.
“Listen, Daniel, it really has been good to
talk to you, but there are others here that I need to visit with.” The smile she offered didn’t quite make it
all the way to her eyes, but everything in her manner seemed sincere as she
added, “Maybe we can hook up again, with Sam and Teal’c too, after the
ceremony?”
He nodded.
“Of course.”
She gave his arm an affectionate squeeze
before leaving, but as she walked away all he could think was how nothing had
changed.
He was still as much in love with her as
ever. And the biggest mistake he’d ever
made was never telling her.
^
* ^ *
^ * ^
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^ *
The air was unseasonably cool as they exited
the restaurant. Jack gave them a quick
word of farewell, but Janet reached and pulled the older man into a hug before
he could escape. Daniel watched as his
friend glanced down to smile at the petite doctor. Jack then offered one final look to him, and
a slap on the shoulder that communicated more than any words, before turning to
head up the street.
“You sure you want to walk?” Daniel asked,
noting she’d crossed her arms protectively around her. “I don’t mind calling a cab.”
Janet shook her head. “The night air will do me good.”
He nodded, then fell into step beside her as
she started down the sidewalk.
He still wasn’t certain what to make of the
invitation to escort her home. It was likely
nothing more than a safety precaution.
After all, just because their world lived in peace from alien threat
didn’t mean it was wise for an attractive, single woman to walk the streets of
a big city alone at night. But given
recent events, he couldn’t help wishing there was something more behind her
request.
She didn’t speak, but he didn’t mind. For the moment it was enough simply to be in
her company. Besides, it would give him
opportunity to consider how he should handle their final goodbye.
“This is it,” Janet said, stopping in front
of an older, well-kept apartment building.
Daniel stepped around to face her. “Janet, I…”
How many blocks had they walked?
And he still had no idea what to say.
“Come in and stay with me.” Her voice was steady, unquestioning. Daniel’s eyes widened as she reached for him,
her gaze focused on their clasped hands as she continued, “I don’t think I can
sleep tonight, and I’d rather have someone to talk to than sit alone and stare
at my apartment walls.” She looked up,
meeting his eyes. “If this life ends
here, then I want to spend these last hours in the company of a friend.”
Friend. In the astonishment of the moment it wasn’t
as much as he’d hoped, but perhaps more than he deserved. Squeezing her hand, he smiled and nodded.
Her apartment was small, yet warm and
welcoming. He recognized many of the
furnishings as those she’d had in her house in Colorado and was bombarded by a
flood of memories. Pushing them aside,
he followed her into the kitchen to help make coffee.
He carried the tray to the living room,
taking a chair opposite as Janet sat at one end of the sofa. He watched as she fixed his coffee exactly as
he liked it and tried not to think about how wonderfully domestic it all
felt. Conversation was hesitant at
first, Daniel allowing her to take the lead, but eventually they settled into a
comfortable balance of words and silence.
He noticed neither of them seemed inclined to talk about what was going
to happen tomorrow.
“I know…” Janet began slowly, after one of
their moments of stillness, “I know that what we’re doing is intended to
correct a single mistake, our contact with the Aschen.” Her legs were tucked beneath her where she
sat and her gaze was fixed on the bottom of her empty coffee mug. “And I believe that it’s the right thing to
do, despite the cost. But I can’t… I can’t help wondering,” she paused and
glanced up, “if there’s a chance other mistakes might also be corrected in the
process.”
Daniel, leaning back in the chair with his legs
outstretched, glanced down at the floor as he gave her question some
thought. “I suppose it’s possible. It’s just as possible, however, that other
mistakes will be made – mistakes unique to the altered timeline.” He shrugged.
“Either way, we’ll never know.”
Several seconds passed before she spoke
again. “Do you have doubts?”
“Of course.”
He almost laughed that she would say such a thing. When had he not had doubts?
“Do you…”
Something in the way her tone wavered made him look up, but she was
staring at her mug again. “Do you have
regrets?”
He swallowed hard. “I do.”
Janet stretched to set her mug on the end
table and her voice was tiny and distant as she continued, “Do you think our past
selves, the ones who will move forward in the new timeline—do you think they
might end up in a different place than where we are now?”
He frowned.
Of course they’ll end up in a
different place – that’s the whole point of trying to change the past. What in the world is she getting at? Then a thought came to him, causing a
desperate hope to flicker in his heart.
Cautiously, he straightened in his chair and
looked across at her, but the dimness was casting a shadow on her face. He took a steadying breath. If he was wrong about this – or even if he
wasn’t – what he said next might only make matters worse.
But
what have you got to lose? After
tomorrow, none of this may even exist.
“Janet, I was a fool.” He leaned forward, elbows planted against his
knees. “I was afraid—afraid of what was
happening between us.” He still couldn’t
see her expression but she hadn’t looked away.
“I’d fallen in love with you, but I was too afraid to admit it. And I’m sorry, because I gave into those
fears rather than fight back.”
The moment seemed to stretch on forever
before she finally responded.
“You aren’t the only one to blame, Daniel,”
she whispered. “I could have fought
too. Instead, I stood by and watched you
drift out of my life.”
He rose and moved to sit down beside
her. He could see her face clearly
now. In her eyes he saw something
familiar, a hint of the way she had once looked at him, and it fanned his hope
into a full blaze.
“Janet, I know it’s ten years too late, but—”
he reached up to tenderly caress her cheek, “I love you. I loved you then and I love you now. I know my love isn’t much to offer,
considering everything that could happen tomorrow, but it’s everything I have
to give.”
She made no reply and as the seconds ticked
past Daniel realized he must have misread her.
He’d taken her words and heard what he wanted to hear. And now he saw that tears were streaming down
her face. They flowed across his hand,
where it still rested against her cheek.
“I’m sorry,” he sighed, dropping his hand as
he turned away. “The last thing I
intended was to make this more painful for y—”
He felt the pressure of her hand, grasping
his, and as he looked back to her felt the warmth of her lips as she brushed a
kiss across his fingertips.
“Don’t
apologize to me, Daniel Jackson.”
Despite the severity of her tone, her eyes glistened as she gazed up at
him. “You can be sorry for screwing it
all up, but don’t you dare apologize for telling me you love me.”
“All right.”
He smiled as he reached with his free hand to stroke her hair.
“And you’re wrong,” she stated,
matter-of-factly.
He gave her a curious look and asked, “About
what, exactly?”
“About it not being much to offer.” She spoke in a low voice, and was so close
now that he could feel her words against his skin. “Because I love you too. And considering everything that is likely to happen tomorrow, then being
here with you, knowing you love me… it’s the only thing that matters.”
Her lips were warm and sweet, even more so
than he remembered. And there was a fire
in her touch that he couldn’t quite recall from before. He welcomed the heat, allowing it to burn
away the pain of his regret.
Later, in the quiet moments before their
mission began, he would reason that it had been the intensity of the moment, of
sharing the final hours of life as they knew it. But as he stood by the railing that day and
watched her walk through the Gate to Chu’lak, he knew there was another explanation. Her passion had been because she really did
love him.
Gripping the handle of his briefcase as he
stepped onto the escalator, making his descent toward the Gate, Daniel prayed
that this mission would correct more than a single mistake.
~ THE END ~